Going back to work tomorrow pre-reconstruction. Prosthetics?

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AbbeyNormal
AbbeyNormal Member Posts: 9
edited July 2018 in Breast Reconstruction

Hi all. I had a double mastectomy in April with TE's placed. After some complications (infections), my PS took them out and wanted to wait until August/September until I'm fully healed to schedule another surgery to place new TE's. The thing is, I go back to work tomorrow. I am currently flat. My PS suggested prosthetics temporarily, which I got yesterday. I'm wearing them now to see if I'd be comfortable working all day with them.

Long story short, my question is- should I just go back to work flat? I work in an office of 35 people (32 are men in their late 20's to late 30's) and they now all know I had breast cancer. It's also known that I'll be going out to get surgery again in a few months so I feel like it would be weird to go back with prosthetics. Not sure if it would cause confusion and attract more attention and questions which is what I'm most afraid of.

Has anyone else faced something like this? This whole process is extra embarrassing in an office full of men.

PS- Forgive me if this isn't the right forum. Thanks.

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  • LaughingGull
    LaughingGull Member Posts: 560
    edited June 2018

    Hi AbbeyNormal

    I had a unilateral mastectomy with tissue expander. The volume of the expander is like almost double the size of my remaining boob (long story) and I went back to work like that and I thought everybody would be asking questions and noticing the asymmetry, and that everybody would be wondering why I already have some sort of boob, when I just had a mastectomy, given that they also know that I still have reconstructive surgery coming. I also work in an office full of men. Well nobody looked or asked or anything. Nobody stared or noticed or asked either in the swimming pool, where I swim in a masters team with a lot of guys. So my experience is: nobody cares. They care about me, and about how I am doing, and they celebrated me being back, and my hair coming back -but nobody could care less about my boobs. I am 49, so maybe I have truly reached the "invisible" stage of my life.

    I know asymmetric boobs is not like going flat, but I would say dress with or without prosthetics based on how you feel, not based on what others would think about how that fits in your sequence of treatment. Also, I don't know about you, maybe you work in a male model agency, but I work in technology, and let me tell you, the vast majority of guys don't look all that good, including the young ones!

    Best,

    LaughingGull

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  • AbbeyNormal
    AbbeyNormal Member Posts: 9
    edited June 2018

    LaughingGull, thank you! I work in technology too! I manage an office of developers. It's a really great group who really do care about me. We're like a big family. I'm sure they have good intentions but they are definitely lacking in the social skills department. That said, I think you might be right in that no one will really care. I'm probably way over thinking this. Thanks again!!

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  • GAMomma
    GAMomma Member Posts: 197
    edited June 2018

    Heloo.. I had you experience. Although I did not have the YEs then removed,never placed. I have a history of having u jaye problems with slow slow healing. I was not allowed to think about PS for a minimum of the yr. Probably so much better. I'm not done. But I went back to work 4 weeks post of....vlat. I was not healed enough that a bra didn't hurt. Plus really nobody really paid attention. I think you will be ok. Good luck!!

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  • Ebronson19
    Ebronson19 Member Posts: 17
    edited July 2018

    AbbeyNormal-this is actually my first post here but I can relate to how you are feeling. I had my surgery on 6/4 and went back to work 2.5 wks post-op. I have TEs in but they are completely deflated (my PS wanted to wait until mid July to start filling to allow everything time to heal). I was really concerned with what my co-workers would think and my clients too (I am in interior design/sales), since I went from a slender woman with 32Ds to FLAT (think A cup or less). I decided to go flat mainly because I didn't think I would be able to wear any kind of bra with my incisions still being fresh and I was/is still quite sore. So far, everyone has been supportive and all they ask is how I'm doing and telling me how great I look for just having had major surgery. Frankly, I love not having to wear a bra right now (although there are plenty of downsides to this too, but silver linings). I also got a new hairstyle while recovering from surgery, so I think that helped distract some would-be gawkers where I worked too. I wasn't allowed to shower until the drains were all out per my PS's orders, so I went to the hair stylist to get a wash and I decided to change things up while I was there (which also made it easier to style since I'm still having trouble reaching over/behind my head). Sorry this got so long, but I think whatever you decide (flat or not), they will just be happy to have you back :-)

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  • 88tina88
    88tina88 Member Posts: 12
    edited July 2018

    I work with primarily men and they would never say anything, if they noticed at all. Last time I was pregnant, no one said a word about it until I was like 7 months along. and I was absolutely obviously pregnant! I just went with it as an experiment to see how long it would take. My boss knew, but no one even asked him! It's one of the nice things about men, they are easily embarrassed about things like that, don't care much anyway, and when in doubt they generally keep their mouths shut. They will just be happy to see you!

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