Fear of Recurrence

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Ausykaren
Ausykaren Member Posts: 68
edited June 2018 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Can anybody help me with my fear of recurrence. I am letting it take over my life.

Karen


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  • Shellsatthebeach
    Shellsatthebeach Member Posts: 316
    edited June 2018

    Karen,

    I believe many have this fear. When it starts rearing its ugly head I try to remember it's all about perspective. So, instead of thinking what if this comes back how will I handle it...I set goals. Please let me be okay for 5 years until my daughter graduates high school. So now I try to enjoy life in the here and now because none of us are promised tomorrow. Besides if it does come back, I want to have used as much good time as possible rather than waste my time worrying. Who knows, there are new advances coming out and just maybe if worst case scenario happens, odds could be in our favor. Life's too short for anyone to waste.

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited June 2018

    Ausykaren, I'm sorry you're suffering like this.

    Maybe some insight can be gained from your own words--"I am letting it take over my life." Don't let it.

    That old proverb--"you can't stop a bird from flying overhead but you can stop it from making a nest in your hair"--do you find yourself allowing fear to take root and grow in your thoughts? Create a "delete" button for your brain. When you find yourself gnawing on fearsome thoughts, think "DELETE" and move on.

    Fear of recurrence is the bird flying overhead. Don't let the fear build a nest in your hair.

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  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited June 2018

    A psychologist could help you retrain your brain to manage upsetting thoughts and fears. Medication could help you manage anxiety and depression.

    Talk to your doctor.

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  • Okkate75
    Okkate75 Member Posts: 151
    edited June 2018

    Absolutely talk to your doctor. There is help for this level of anxiety. My therapist has been incredibly helpful, and while I fear recurrence, I don't sit with that fear at all time. You don't have to live like this! I'm so sorry you're going through it.

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  • Outfield
    Outfield Member Posts: 1,109
    edited June 2018

    Karen, I found a lot of help by seeing a therapist with a lot of experience with PTSD.

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  • 2timer
    2timer Member Posts: 590
    edited June 2018

    We all worry. Your experience is relatively recent so as more time passes you'll obsess less. Try to focus on the blessings in your life as opposed to something that hasn't (and probably won't) happen. I'm trying to use my cancer journey as an impetus to get off my behind and make my life better, like doing things I've always wanted to do but never got around to doing. Try to retrain your brain from being afraid to accepting the fact that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone and it's important that we make the most of today.


    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, but your feelings are understandable but ultimately self defeating.

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  • lola12
    lola12 Member Posts: 127
    edited June 2018

    Hi Karen,

    I also can fall into the trap of letting fear of recurrence stop me from living my life. I was diagnosed 8 years ago and a few years back I decided to only let myself worry a few days before my mammogram. I even put a note in my calendar and allow myself the time to let that worry out. Tomorrow is my 8th year mammogram and it is anxiety time. In fact, during this anxiety time each year, I also visit this message board. But, I think as time goes by, it allows us to put worry in perspective and in it's place. I am down to scan anxiety, you will be too.

    My doctor termed this deep worry as medical PTSD. This worsens without help. I needed medication for a while. But, truly, time heals a lot of things.

    For now, get the help.

    Lola.

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  • nonomimi5
    nonomimi5 Member Posts: 434
    edited June 2018

    Lola,

    Sending prayers your way for a good mammogram result. Keep us posted. Hugs and kisses.

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