Single and dating without nipples

thanks for bumping this. Someone must have dealt with this before me? Someone that has gotten really good at explaining it? I was thinking of starting with: "So....I have Barbie boobs," since I think most guys grew up fantasizing about Barbies haha.

That is good advice Falconer, thank you.

I'm still interested if anyone has actually had the conversation... How to broach the subject with a new guy.

I have implants, so they "feel" like boobs, just no nipples. I mean, I can figure it out, but I thought this might have come up before and be a conversation! We'll see if anyone else chimes in.

Oh yea the TE feels like you have a dining room table in there haha. The implant is normal feeling (mine especially took a long time to drop down and soften because my pec muscles are really tight). Do you still have a real nipple?

My friend, who is a comedienne (literally) said this when I mentioned worrying about nipples, etc: "And here I was thinking just today: we don't talk about nipples enough." hahahahahaha. I'm so used to just coming out and saying stuff on here I forget these subjects are a tad sensitive in the real world.

So anyway, do you have a nipple haha?

you are so right!! And it’s true: I’m 54 so I’ll be dating guys “over the hill,” too. Judge not and all that, right? I’m going with “I have Barbie boobs” haha.

illimai thank you! and I don't have any nipples -- I don't have tattooed nipples either. I had a BMX, so both are foobs. So I am full Barbie boobs. My tattoo is tiny, on my left foob, and it is a cherry blossom branch and has the Sanskrit symbols for Faith, Hope and Courage around it.

I would definitely say something before the top came off, because that would be a terrible time to find out he had a problem with it! I'm glad to hear the opinion of your husband and friend. I was kind of looking for advice on what to say: I was thinking of starting it with "so...I have Barbie boobs," and let them sit with that before I explained haha (because, of course, Barbie has no nipples).

Thank you illimae! The whole time I was going through surgery, etc., this sort of thing was obviously the least of my worries and frankly I still consider it silly. But I thought for sure someone who had gone through dating after bc would chime in. I can't imagine I'm the first? However, those dealing with the intricacies of life after bc may have moved on past the website. I haven't in fact been on the site in a long time. I see your diagnosis and surgery history and I'm like my question is so meaningless in the grand scheme of things; I'm just grateful I haven't metastasized and my biggest worry is how to explain nipple-less foobs. But I was thinking about putting myself out there for dating again, and I just wondered if anyone else had come up with a great line to break the ice on the conversation. So thank you for chiming in! How are things going with your treatment?

Illimae, I'm glad. I looked at some of your posts elsewhere, and you really have some fun things planned--and isn't that what happiness is? Having something to look forward to? I didn't have anything to look forward to for a long time, and things are finally turning around. Even thinking "Maybe I might find someone to go on a date with," is a big move for me.

I see your diagnosis was after mine, which is probably why we haven't met on here before! I was pretty much off the site after my Exchange surgery in October 2015. Dear God it feels like yesterday but we're coming up on three years.

Oh by the way, my handle is I-Spy. People always read it as "ipsy" so you're not alone. I'm a private investigator so... get it? I spy.

thanks everyone! I'm still curious if anyone has ever had "the conversation". Am I the only single and BMX recon no nipples girl?

Thank you for your thoughts, I understand how you feel. This is a sensitive subject and it is very personal. Every woman has to decide what is best for her. I am about ten years older than you, and I've always been very independent -- I've had great love stories but no marriages and no long term boyfriends. I've always just done my own thing and had what I would call "movie" romances -- heart pounding, earth shattering, "take me now" kind of love affairs. It means I've been alone through the bc journey, but a lot of women find themselves alone even when they were married at one point.

To be quite honest--and this is brutally honest--I have had a lot of sex and it has been great. At this point, I don't feel like going through surgery so that a guy has something to play with while we're having sex. The foobs and the fipples don't feel "real" to us women -- they might feel real to the guy, but not to us. They feel numb and awkward to us. So saying "they feel real", I have to ask -- they feel real to who? Not to me.

Now, that being said, at 54 years old with no ovaries I'm not desperate for a guy or to have sex right now. I'm busy with my life. In the past I have been VERY into sex, whenever I wanted, with whomever, as long as he was the handsomest guy in the room. At this point I feel like "meh, if I have time."

And the fact is, guys love Barbies; they all lust after their sister's Barbies. So the "I have Barbie boobs," is partially a joke idea and partially something that would appeal to them.

I am confident as a woman, with or without nipples, and even without boobs (sometimes the pain in my shoulders and back make me wish I hadn't gotten reconstruction). But then again, as I mentioned, I've had a LOT of sex. I'm good if there isn't a lot of sex in my future.

I hope that you get the fipples and foobs to look the way you want them to, because you deserve to have your body the way you want it. But I think that a guy that loves you and wants to be with you is going to care about all of this a lot less than you think.

I really was looking for ideas on how to talk about the subject with new guys, but I'm happy that the conversation has expanded to what it means to date without nipples.

hi SpecialK! Long time no “see”! Thank you for the link I will delve in

Hi Patti that is all very good advice! My question was more specific: What do you tell the new guy before you take your shirt off? He will certainly notice the nipples aren't real, or that you don't want to take your bra off.

I've decided to just say "Oh by the way, I have Barbie boobs. But you liked your sister's barbies, right?" and open the conversation that way haha.