not a good day today.

{HUGS}

I am sorry that you are here with us, but there is lots of support on this forum. For sleep try melatonin, it may help. Take it when you are ready for bed. The waiting is the worst with this "disease". I will be thinking of you and positive thoughts for good pathology results as it sounds like you caught this early.

Cheryl

I'm so sorry. For sure this is the worst part; every day seems to be an eternity. From your previous post I see you were planning on lumpectomy, yes? So if that was your path, and your doctor didn't say anything about swollen nodes, I think you can hold onto the odds of lymph node involvement being low. And while I totally get that a "downgrade" to IDC would be a bummer, your treatment plan might be much the same. (And yes, this is what passes for "good news" in BC world.

And sheesh, I resonate with your word "defective." One minute we're fine and boom, the next minute every darn day is spent talking about medical procedures. Hope you can focus on something fun, and do let us know how we can help.

Whome8... I too was diagnosed with DCIS in my right breast back in February. I had three oncologists review my case and they all agreed that mastectomy of the right breast was the best course of treatment to reduce the chance of reoccurrence . This was the hardest decision I have ever made but I knew it was most certainly the best way to go. The time between the decision to remove my breast and the day of surgery was filled with anxiety and fear of what I would look like after the surgery and how I would feel about myself. I continued to go to work and tried to focus on anything else but the surgery . I had many sleepless nights to say the least. My recovery was challenging but honestly it was not as bad as I had imagined. I had total mastectomy of right breast on April 6 and now nine weeks later I just had my fifth tissue expander fill. The discomfort was little to none at first fill and this last fill has come with more pain due to the extensive stretching of the tissue and muscle. I will be having surgery to put in a silicone implant sometime in August and my PS will also be doing a reduction and a lift to my healthy left breast to make them symmetrical. My friends and family have been so supportive and been with me every step of my journey. I just want to say that every day it gets a little better and you will get through this and life will return to normal as you knew it before your diagnosis

Whome,

I had Lumpectomy on 4/30 and I have only 8 more radiations left. I am so grateful I will be able to spend the summer traveling around to take my son to college baseball showcases. When I was Dx in March, the only thing I got teary about was "what if I can't take my son around in the summer?" so I really understand what you are going through. We all do. The waiting around for the surgery, the biopsy, the Oncotype DX were really the worst part of the deal. Take your time to vent, but so many women go though this, it is just another life situation you just need to learn how to cope with and move on. We will be praying for you.

No advice --I logged on right now because I'm feeling overwhelmed and confused. Sending you hugs xoxo

I completely understand. I’m not having a good week emotionally and I think the fatigue from radiation is getting to me. Fortunately no skin issues yet! I need the people close to me to understand I’m not doing well even if it is mostly emotional right now. It’s hard to know what to say sometimes. Sending you happy thoughts!

Honestly, the most supportive are women who've been through it. No one else truly seems to understand. They try, but they just don't. I had women close to me who'd had breast augmentation try to compare my BMX and reconstruction to their augmentation surgery (honestly: call me when you've had your nipples removed and have four drains hanging out of your chest like a science fiction character). And it wasn't that they were being mean, people just don't know what to say. They say: "it will be fine"; really? How do you know it will be fine? Because if you have a crystal ball I'd like to borrow it.

If you need help with things, ask for specific things so people can do them. Again, it isn't that they don't want to help it's that they don't know how or what to do or say.

And other than that, the best advice I got was from Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book: she said that her patients kept asking when things would go back to "normal", or the way they used to be. She said "They never will; recognize that. Everything is different now."

I am single and live alone. I had to be strong because there was really no one to lean on through my diagnosis, surgeries, etc., other than well meaning friends and my brother (parents have died). I allowed myself one hysterical screaming cry in my car, in the middle of an empty parking lot, lasting 15 minutes. I screamed and cried for the loss of what had come before, and the fight I was now facing. And that was it. I never cried again. Sometimes I look down and see missing nipples, and I feel blue for a minute and then I think: "Well, I'm alive."

I am doing great two years after my last surgery: released by my oncologist, scars healed, some muscle problems and body problems related to other issues for the most part, not the breast cancer. I have exciting things happening in my life, and I have hope for the future. But it was all because I stopped trying to make things the way they were "before". There is no before, there is only the new normal. (I'm not saying you're doing this, I'm just giving you the best advice I got!). You will handle this, everything that comes with it, because you're strong and you can. And you will be there to watch your kids graduate from college. You got this.