Questioning myself and my decisions

Justkeepmoving,

You caught it at an early Stage so you're on top of it. You can cure this no matter what the outcome may be. Good for you to get your private life organized and prepare for what is coming. Good luck and be strong. We are here for you.

Waiting is the worst! It's hard not to worry. Shutting down is your body's way of telling you to take a break from it all. If you can, get some exercise and get outside to clear your head and feel strong in your body. Spending time with my daughter was my best medicine -- she helped take my mind off things and also remind me why I was prepared to do what it takes to deal with this. You get to feel all the feels, regardless of the stage and prognosis. There is a lot of relief when the surgery is done and the cancer is OUT. Right now everything is in what-if world. After the surgery, you have information. Be kind and patient with yourself. Have the big cry and make space for the big laugh. It will be a rollercoaster for a while, but life is pretty sweet on the other side of this. This is when your stage makes a difference -- I think it's a little easier to move on afterward because our prognosis is so good. I'm over 6 years out from diagnosis and I'm back to good ol' normal life full of busy-ness and productivity and thankfulness. Best wishes!

Justkeepmoving... justthinkabouthealing....

I will be honest it took about a year for the magnitude of reality to hit me. I was misdiagnosed,or mistreated? I dunno,they screwed up my biopsy..lol I too had DCIS grade 3, with the highest grade of everything. Due to 1 of the masses,3 total, lymph node involvement was unknown. It was December 31st,my husband's bday,the same day we found out our 2 yr old cat also had cancer,my sister was in a car wreck-900 miles away.. I kept my cancer a secret for almost a week. I could ruin my husband bday,change my kids grief(I have 5-yes I have lost my mind,and my boobs 😉). I pondered nightly how my life would play out. I denied my sadness,the stress,the facts. I.HAD.CANCER.

Damn it sucked. I breastfed all my kids,for what? Healthy kids and cancer... Screw you statics and mother nature,you can all bite me. Now I have this satisfying middle finger towards all of them,but in 2017,I was numb.

It went from a second Mammo to no breasts in a matter of 2 months. I really was in a state of shock. Of course then I didn't know. I was getting thru each day,just to get thru the next. I didn't realize how naked cancer made you feel. I felt bare all the time. I do not mean the amount of people who actually see you naked. I have never been.modest,especially after given birth 5 times. But it was a bare bones to my core naked. It was...lonely. my kids and husband tried to be there but it's not that easy. It's a mental lonely. Maybe because my body was changed.. maybe because I went from helpful to helpless. I was the healer,not the one who needed help. Transforming into that change was hard,still is.

In the small book of a post my point is what you are feeling now is all part of the diagnosis,the treatment,and the healing and recovery. They all have a part and a time. Accept it,live in it and let it all progress. It will not last forever. In the meanwhile,hang out here,scream,cry,type any question you have. After surgery the only advice I have is.. pillows,pain meds,stool softeners and comfy jammies.

Sisters - what a fantastic forum this is - thank you!! Cancer, no matter what stage, is a B---h! (rhymes with witch ) yet we manage to carry on and focus on life's important moments. Yes we need to scream, whine and wonder why/how, all of which help convince us that this is indeed real. These forums are an amazing place for support, advice and information, hugs and healing everyone!!

Wow you are all writing the thoughts I can’t quite put together! DCIS large and grade 3, dmx.

The only thing I can add is I’ve always thought this would take a year to find some lasting balance. This is what I cling to!

Hugs to everyone