Respecting That Everybody Has a Tough Choice to Make

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  • dtad
    dtad Member Posts: 2,323
    edited May 2018

    Hi everyone...I'm one who has refused anti hormone treatment from the start. It is definitely the most controversial subject on this forum. Most members are supportive but I did have a fair share of naysayers. Doing anything other than what your doc tells you to do is frowned upon. I think we all have different circumstances that contribute to our informed decisions. We are here to support each other. Good luck to all navigating this complicated disease.

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  • NotVeryBrave
    NotVeryBrave Member Posts: 1,287
    edited May 2018

    I started a thread long ago called "if you can't say anything nice" and got a lot of backlash. I'm all for people who know posting what research says. I'm also all for those who through their own experience are choosing to not do what is recommended. I find fault with those who resort to scare tactics or needlessly harsh words.

    We're all in a crap place. The least we can do is support one another. Or just choose to not respond.


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  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 1,603
    edited May 2018

    Tdad - I completely respect your decision, and yes we are here to support each other, best of luck back to you!

    NotVeryBrave - I pondered making a thread titled ‘Can’t we all just get along’ after seeing several posts in different threads, all in the same day. Some of the comments were very confrontational and well, mean spirited. It made me sad. I understand that some issues are contentious and gets people’s backs up, but as adults I would have thought there would have been a more restrained debate....especially under the circumstances we all have come to understand so well. I guess I’m being naive or maybe looking for a perfect world? After reading that you got a backlash for posting a reach out along the same lines, I’m glad I didn’t. I concur with your last paragraph 100%

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited May 2018

    The idea I did what I was told and made it through is really sad. None of the treatment is a solid yes you need to do it. Cancer is hard there is no right solution. I find I like to hear what people are doing and how it is going for them. I actually believed I benefited from AI but I stopped early because of side effects. I hear no 2 cancers are alike and no 2 people are alike. I support my BCO friends no matter what they choose to do.

    It is so important to be honest and please don't worry about scaring newbies. We are all over the age of 18.

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  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 1,603
    edited May 2018

    HapB - lol, you must have been reading the same threads I was that day....my jaw has dropped open after reading the kind of things you referred to and I’ve exclaimed out loud (while sitting alone) “omg, are you serious!?!??” Yes, it is sad, very, makes me hug my family twice when they get home.

    Meow - exactly. Support is what it’s all about. As for the newbies, I’m honest, but lean towards a gentle honest. I feel the last thing a terrified poster in the “waiting” threads needs is to hear too much of the reality of my experiences. Especially since most will thankfully not walk the same path. I figure a war story would just add to the anxiety. Funny though, there are some that deal well with it....as you said,no 2 alike.

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  • Brennalynn
    Brennalynn Member Posts: 9
    edited May 2018

    I’m with you!

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  • KCMC
    KCMC Member Posts: 208
    edited May 2018

    It's funny, I have a dear friend who is not taking anti hormonal and she is exercising eating extremely clean etc. Who is to say that just because I am taking tamoxifen my choice is better. I have another friend who is on the fence about tamoxifen and has time to decide, she is doing her research and I have another friend who really wanted to take anti hormonals but couldn't so she had to have a hysterectomy.

    We are all extremely lucky that we have these choices. It is not a one size fits all and I really believe the choice we make for ourselves is the right one for us.


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  • Warrior2018
    Warrior2018 Member Posts: 380
    edited May 2018

    Well said KCMC.

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  • Peetie1
    Peetie1 Member Posts: 73
    edited May 2018

    Yes well said KCMC! I have not been on these boards since things got so ugly here from the crowd that feels that it is their duty to "instruct newbies on their ' correct' treatment plan regarding anti-hormonals." These threads have been coming to my inbox because I started the thread, and I am so glad to see that it now seems to be possible to connect with other women that are dealing with breast cancer, even if you have chosen not to take the anti-hormonals. I wish that I could have received that kind of support when I was struggling to make this very thoughtful and difficult decision!

    It has been one year since my surgery, eleven months since the completion of radiation, and I am NED and feeling great! Like one of KCMC's friends, I have chosen to eat a clean Mediterranean diet, exercise daily, take baby aspirin, and reduce the stress in my life. There are no guarantees for anybody, but I am doing what made the most sense to me, and I support others who have made a different decision for themselves.

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  • KCMC
    KCMC Member Posts: 208
    edited May 2018

    Peetie, sounds like you made a good decision. We are all in this together and should share all our knowledge and be respectful of one another. Again, we are lucky we have choices.





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  • Peetie1
    Peetie1 Member Posts: 73
    edited May 2018

    HapB,

    I met you on another breast cancer forum, but I have not visited any of these sites in quite a while. How are you doing? The last time we spoke you had finished surgery and started chemo. I sure hope that you are well!

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  • Peetie1
    Peetie1 Member Posts: 73
    edited May 2018

    Good luck HapB! I will continue to pray for you!

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