Freaking out it is spreading to my lymph nodes

There is no way to know for sure until they do surgery. I was just like you and kept feeling twinges under my arm and was freaking out, but when they did surgery, no nodes tested positive. Hang in there

I think it is unlikely that your lymph nodes are involved, given you've had not one, but two sets of imaging in the last 2 weeks. Of course, the only way to know for sure is to get the sentinel node biopsy. However, just understand that a body and mind under stress can make us feel all kinds of zaps and pains. "Bad feelings" are not facts, so try not to waste your life force grieving something that has not happened and may never happen. Keep yourself busy with things that require concentration--nothing too Zen; you don't want to allow your mind to drift too much, cuz you know it will go "there."

Our BC.org friend Wallan shared this last year. Perhaps it will be helpful. It was for me, as I was panicking about this dx

Falconer, that's excellent. It should be required reading for every person joining this site.

I didn't really experience much family freak-out, but my brother drunk-called me several times over the course of three weeks, crying, begging me not to die <insert eyeroll here> And my mom told me the stories of all her friends who had BC and all the stories ended with "...and SHE DIED!" I kept my surgical plans under wraps until the deed was done.

Mustlovepoodles, I had a friend that told me the ‘AND THEY DIED!!!’ stories every time we met. I’m not a violent person but man did she test me! You would think you wouldn’t have to explain to people that it’s the last thing they should be relaying! As many have said here, ya can’t fix stupid

Hey, it's easy to think the worst and of course human instinct, but it's very unlikely to have spread in a 2 week period. There's the misconception that breast cancer spreads very very quickly, but my onco has said it grows a lot slower than people think, regardless of the grade. Often it takes a good 5-8 years for a few cancer cells to form into a lump.

The fact that your MRI (highly regarded technology for cancer detection) is clear is great news. When you're in that limbo waiting period it's so easy for the mind to wander and for negative thoughts to set in, I also felt the same and sometimes the body can be sympathic to the mind and develop symptoms/pain and of course the pain can feel very real. But logically speaking have faith that it is highly unlikely based on the scientific evidence and with your op not too far away. Good luck.

Anxiety meds? I'll bet we here at BCO collectively have enough Xanax and Ativan to open our own pharmacy. By all means, take them if they will help you get through this. I'm all for guided imagery, meditation, crystals and other woo-woo, but I didnt have the patience or self-control to overcome the crushing anxiety that I experienced.

I feel your pain! Diagnosed April 20th and my ultrasound and MRI showed clear nodes as well. However they have to biopsy the node cause cancer is microscopic. My surgeon says unlikely to be in the nodes but won’t know until I wake up from lumpectomy in May 15th!

Waiting is torture and I take Xanax 1 mg at night and sometimes I’ll take 0.5 during the day if needed.

💗

I have just been diagnosed today and I am terrified. I’m now thinking it must have been there for a bit because it feels large to me. My doctor was as good as useless. Couldn’t tell me anything. Just told me to wait until I speak to the surgeon. Suddenly everything that has been wrong with me in the last 12 months is magnified. I’m concerned that I am riddled with it. The brain can be awful thing.

@mustlovepoodles:

I would like to counteract the AND SHE DIED stories with some positive ones:

My co worker just celebrated the 20th anniversary of her diagnosis. She is currently 60 years old, working as a legal assistant and enjoying her adult children.

My cousin's husband's mother has lived over 20 years after her diagnosis. I'm not sure how old she is now but her son is 55 so she is in her 70s and the last time I saw her she looked great. I never knew she had cancer until her son told me.

A different co worker's mother had cancer at least 10 years ago. She is a teacher and is retiring and moving to FL from Chicago.

Right now you need positive people in your life. Distance yourself from the negativity. Plenty of people live through cancer.

I felt pain in my armpit from a small tumour but nodes were clear. It can be referred pain from biopsy or even the tumour pressing on a nerve. Not to worry. If the nodes are deemed clear, they are very likely clear.

Falconer, that was a great list. My daughter has medical anxiety, generally, and I copied and pasted it to send to her when she's hyper-worried about a perceived physical condition.

My mom freaked out about my dx. She immediately called everyone in the family when she found out (she came to the waiting room for my lumpectomy saying she was going to "support my husband" who was also waiting, even though I asked her not to). I hadn't even fully waken up from anesthesia and she horned in on the news from the doc when he shared it with my husband. My daughter, my only child, who was traveling alone for work, found out through a random and unnecessary text she got from a much younger cousin, and I wasn't able to tell my daughter first (I knew how to relieve her fears and could have, had the family gossips not gotten to her first). I was angry about that for a long time.

Claire in AZ