YEARS LATER AND STILL HAPPY TO BE FLAT! :)

Options
PerAngusta
PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
edited April 2020 in Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy

Hello BC Ladies and Gents!

I am a former swimsuit model, long, silky dirty blond hair, big blue eyes, 5'9" - 130 pounds - perky, full, high 36C breasts BEFORE CANCER. Sounds great, right? lol IT WAS!! It was ideal.

BUT HONESTLY, I was born that way! It was a fortunate FLUKE. I didn't earn it, didn't buy it, it just "was-what-it-was"!! AND MAKE NO MISTAKE....what it was, was a socially accepted and embraced "standard" made up and created by media/strangers. If I had been born in a different era....my skinny-bean body would have been considered "unsightly" and implied poverty, infertility or even ill-health!!! Big, round, robust women used to be a standard at one time!! Just look to the arts for examples!!! Again, a SOCIAL STANDARD!! Imposed and 100% MADE UP, FABRICATED, IRRELEVANT!!!!!

After 18 months of cancer treatments and surgeries (including complete hysterectomy and bilateral mastectomy, chemo, radiation, herceptin and tamoxifen) I was bald, flatter-than-flat-chested and gained 30 pounds out of nowhere! I had two small children at the time of my diagnosis (aged 9 and 11) and a young husband who (to date) hasn't had sex with me - since all of my "medically disrupted hormonal nonsense" dried up my [um-hmmm....] "entire-ness" and made the whole thing UN-ENJOYABLE/INTOLERABLE for me. And THAT is another post altogether!!! lol FYI - we have found ways to work around that as well!! IMAGINATION AND CREATIVITY IS YOUR FRIEND THROUGHOUT YOUR HEALING PROCESS!!

Fast forward to the happy part of this story (recreating a positive self image was a process and it felt like forever......but I am 2 years beyond completion of all treatments)...WHICH IS THAT I FEEL HAPPY TO BE ME AGAIN! I opted against the reconstruction right out of the gate - hubby and I decided NOT to put my body through any additional procedures. Today, I have long hair again, silky and wonderful (which was super scary because at first, it came in CURLY and WIRE-LIKE??) and I have worked hard to lose that 30 pounds again!!! I buy different clothes than I did before I had cancer....nothing V-neck or low cut anymore....no bras required anymore and my bathing suits are no longer string bikinis.....but let me tell you, I LOOK GREAT!!! I look in the mirror and smile and feel super proud of myself!! I see a strong, lean woman (albeit, battling lymphadema daily!!!) with a whole day ahead of herself and I feel gorgeous!!! Heck, runway models don't have breasts (to speak of) either!!!

Naked? Well, naked is another thing, isn't it? Naked, I must admit that I feel a bit like a mannequin....and a little "genderless" but in the oddest way....more HUMAN/CONNECTED than I have ever felt!! I can now relate to.....just about anything or anyone! I feel great and think that going flat is simply a matter of personal preference and honestly, if you don't let it bother you or define you....it won't!!!! YOU are YOU, with breasts, without breasts, with hair, without hair, etc.

Inspirational movie that I just watched last night with my young daughter......"I FEEL PRETTY" with Amy Schumer!! Check it out and enjoy it for the beautiful film that it is!!! It is largely about "social perfection" and self esteem. It speaks to anyone struggling with a mirror or socially imposed standards!!!

And from me to you? YOU ARE SUPER BEAUTIFUL IF YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!! :) As Amy Schumer might agree!!!! Do whatever you need to do...to be kind and generous to yourself and restore your own, positive self image. You KNOW how to do that for yourself....you know what your own standards and comfort levels are!! AND NO ONE IS THE SAME!! That is the secret of our REAL BEAUTY! Individual appeal!!!

AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO "DO" want reconstruction? Sure!!! Awesome!!! I'm cheering for you folks too!!!! It's a personal thing!! Make it work for you - if that's what you want!!!! Only YOU know what makes YOU feel happy, safe, secure! For instance, personally, I could not go "bald" and so I wore wigs until my hair came back!! Yet, many of my BC friends embraced their baldness and they were completely okay without a wig!! We learn to adapt or.....we crumble. Don't do it!! Don't crumble!! Find your way and know that it IS possible to be happy again!

You matter and so do your choices. I hope this has provided some insight. I wish you all the best!! :)

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
«1

Comments

  • Hogwarts
    Hogwarts Member Posts: 60
    edited April 2018

    Hi Per,

    Thank you so much for your story!!! This culturally imposed idea of perfection is such nonsense, but it seems that wearing foobs of any kind is uncomfy, especially when the weather gets warm. Yet that are many posts of women who have lived flat, regardless of their shape, even if they feel shaped like a light bulb. While I'm trim and 71, it just doesn't pay to look in the mirror at my profile with only one top layer on. In cooler weather it's easier to hide under bulk. Not so in warm weather, which I don't like anyway. I have a friend who thinks that flat women look so elegant, like ballerinas. While 3 years out, post dx, and healthier than ever, this is the biggest hurdle. Your words, and the words of other flat sisters, is helping me get braver. Soon, I hope to stand up straighter and not care what my profile looks like. No one has paid any attention before (didn't have much anyway) but it's still taking some getting used to.

    Hugs, Hogwarts/Judy

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • wallycat
    wallycat Member Posts: 3,227
    edited April 2018

    Your post was eloquent and right on target.

    Indeed, imposed ideals are tiring and they take away quality of life. Few men "do" anything about their bald heads; they just embrace and move on. We should too!

    Health is more important than any "look" can be. Hard to accept that until you're faced with a death-diagnosis and appreciate every day of life there after.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 1,603
    edited April 2018

    Amen Per!

    I used wigs & pieces as well. I probably would have opted for reconstruction if it had come down to it. I used what made me happy & feel good.

    I also refused to believe I was defined by my breasts.....long before cancer. All hail strength.....it's THE most attractive quality any man or woman can posses.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited April 2018

    Thanks Hogwarts and Wallycat! I just wanted to post something for those who are sitting on the fence....wondering.....afraid of how they might feel about their choices down the line. I know that we are told NOT to torment ourselves over any of our decisions but we are human and these decisions (whether others understand them, can relate to them or not) are difficult ones to make. When I was deciding "one breast or both" I was torn with conflicting opinions, directions, statistics.....ARGH!!! The thought of "adding" more procedures, risks or yuck to my pile was hellish. At the end of the day....I made a choice and MUST live with it.....my breasts are gone now and I am flat! So, I worked at it and I found a way to embrace my flat self! Would I have preferred to keep the breasts that I had? Of course.....but as the t-shirt saying goes "yes, they're gone....they tried to kill me!".

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • star2017
    star2017 Member Posts: 827
    edited April 2018

    this is a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • greetings1
    greetings1 Member Posts: 12
    edited April 2018

    what a encouraging post. It is nice to be able to accept yourself for who you are, especially with what you have been through. If I need a mastectomy I hope my attitude is like yours.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited May 2018

    Throughout my "flatness" and "baldness", I used to tell everyone that I used "smoke and mirrors to fool everyone". This is me....post mastectomy (5 months) and just about to start radiation. I am completely bald (the hair is a partial wig/no top of the head for coolness) and I have no eyebrows or eyelashes. I wore sunglasses all day and a dress that I bought at Target for 20.00. I bought the hat at a beach shop for 10.00. I WORE NO BATHING SUIT TO THE BEACH THAT DAY as I watched my husband and children swimming in the Atlantic Ocean at Virginia Beach...but I was content, shaded and made the best of the hot day with my dog at my side. No one seemed to notice that I was any different than any other person there that day. But I knew! I knew that the OLD ME would have been wearing a string bikini and jumping through the waves with my kids. For me, I had to accept the changes or become totally miserable with my entire life. Smoke and mirrors folks!! People are easily fooled. :)

    image

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited April 2018

    By the way....I forgot to mention that no one on that beach that day...except my family....knew that I ever looked any other way. My husband and my children love me, always, as I am. The people on the beach approached me, chatted with me, smiled at me....as they did with anyone else on that beach. I sat there in that chair and thought "life just keeps going". There were bikini clad girls on that beach that day and they looked great! Just as I had when I wore similar beachwear. But on that day? I totally felt pretty in my dress and cool hat and i was so freakin happy to be watching my family enjoy the sunshine!! Who would have told me different? No one decent or intelligent or kind. Anyone who would tease or intentionally say something unkind? Well, that's my definition of an ugly person!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • juliechris
    juliechris Member Posts: 7
    edited May 2018

    I love all of these posts, but I had to stop lurking to say how much I especially love your beach photo, PerAngusta, and everything you had to say here. I am one week postdouble mastectomy no reconstruction. So much inspiration for me here, thank you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited May 2018

    image

    Thanks juliechris! I am an artist (paint) and strongly feel that my creative side has always provided the inspiration for other ventures like cooking....or decorating...or planting flowers! My artsy side is brimming with ideas to create....everything and anything....things that stimulate my senses! Apparently, fashion ideas (aka "smoke and mirrors") must be another part of my profile! Lol I have been making a point of getting my daughter to photograph me....everytime I get dressed and ready to go somewhere......ANYTIME you (or anyone else) would like to see photos of my wardrobe choices (from sizes 5....to 2X.....i've been all of these sizes over the past 3years)....please PM me and i'd be happy to share them with you! Nothing I purchase is custom made or expensive. And my wardrobe rocks!!! For fun.....my husband and I just attended a charity "80's" dance....I am dressed up to look like Madonna in her "Holiday" music video. I dressed my hubby up to look like "Slash" from Guns and Roses.....I hand painted, with body paints....fake tattoos on his arms. We still looked adorable together (to me) after 25 years of marriage....and bc!!!! People at this dance DID know me with big, beautiful, breasts before bmx.....and this was my first, real, social event! I don't think anyone really noticed what was missing....lol, but several "doh-doh's" did ask "hmmm...you look different....somehow....have you lost more weight?" Lololololol yep! Sort of!!!! I just smiled and didn't point anything out! They either didn't truly figure it out or politely kept quiet....either way, I didn't let anyone or anything ruin my costume or my fun! It was a fabulous party and I felt beautiful!

    ...and btw....YES, that is my real hair!! :) It finally grew back to it's "old self" again....just like it's grower!!! :)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited May 2018

    Okay....also wanted to add one last thing for all of you ladies, post mastectomy and flat......Another challenge for me has been what to wear at the beach!! My first choice? DON'T GO TO THE BEACH ANYMORE!! lol Simple!!!! Problem addressed and resolved!!!! :) lolol I tried wearing dresses (as you can see above) but they weren't great to swim with!! lol So, to be honest, I haven't enjoyed a day in the sunshine, water and sand since 2014! THIS YEAR HOWEVER, I'm prepared to go for it!! I searched high and low for the perfect swimsuit (online and in stores). In addition to being completely flat chested now (...and I make my husband crack up when I call some sections of my chest area "DIVETS" - as in his golf terminology!!) I wondered how to "smoke and mirror" a flat section WHEN WET????? That's a sticky situation, literally!!! Also, after radiation, I'm cautious of sun exposure. i wanted to be covered but still look okay. And of course, after they removed 24 lymph nodes....I suffer from lymphadema!! My arms are often different sizes - which is not the look I'm going for!!

    I FOUND THE IDEAL SUIT!!! Long sleeve top with "cold shoulders" that is swimsuit material....brightly colored neon pattern that is blinding, flashy and psychedelic...by the time folks have had the chance to adjust their eyes from the stun of the top, I've already walked past them with a great big smile and a hello!!! The bottoms are bikini style....plain black! For swimming, I just wear the top and the bottoms. For walking around, I wear a little skirt over the suit bottoms. If you don't like a bikini bottom, WALMART carries a two-in-one combo with the bottoms built into the skirt. ALL SIZES!! Another thing I do is have my toenails painted funky with sparkles and shallac! Again, distracting and lovely!!

    Another fashion tip for the flat gal? BIBBED CLOTHING!! Fortunately for us....coveralls, bibbed dresses, overalls are ALL THE RAGE!! I wear body suits that snap at the crotch and slap a bibbed outfit over that, loopy earrings, lip gloss and cute sandals or converse runners (many of them I have hand painted myself!!)....

    For these and other fashion ideas.....please PM me and I will send you photos of me wearing the outfits.

    image

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lisey
    Lisey Member Posts: 1,053
    edited May 2018

    Per Augusta, 

    I'm going to add my photos to this thread too..  For me, being flat feels authentic and 100% just me.  I tried the recon route and not only was it painful, it felt like I was betraying my body.  I'd much rather just be me and society can deal with it.  People don't really notice anyway, they just think I've lost weight (I had natural 34DD's).  I think more young women should get off the recon treadmill of surgeries and pain and consider at least going flat.    

    Forgot to mention.. I'm a professional artist as well - maybe us artsy types just are more comfortable with being natural? 

    image 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lisey
    Lisey Member Posts: 1,053
    edited May 2018

    Per Augusta, 

    I'm going to add my photos to this thread too..  For me, being flat feels authentic and 100% just me.  I tried the recon route and not only was it painful, it felt like I was betraying my body.  I'd much rather just be me and society can deal with it.  People don't really notice anyway, they just think I've lost weight (I had natural 34DD's).  I think more young women should get off the recon treadmill of surgeries and pain and consider at least going flat.    

    Forgot to mention.. I'm a professional artist as well - maybe us artsy types just are more comfortable with being natural? 

    image

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited May 2018

    You are soooooooo beautiful!

    Thank you so much for posting your pic!! I bet many ladies will be wearing this look for themselves!!! I honestly think that the worst hurdle is the first hurdle....embrace and accept the flat! Once you've done that (IF you decide you can do that - WHICH is not for everyone as I have stated numerous times!)....the rest is actually productive! I think that many ladies could embrace or accept the flat but they just aren't sure how!! So they just go for the recon or the foobs because it is "KNOWN" and familiar to them. It's human nature for us to gravitate towards the most natural pathway.....and ONLY we know which pathway is OUR natural direction, right? People like you and I (with some artistic graces) should be reaching out to share some of our ideas because....we just might help a few lost fashionistas!! The breast cancer scenario is truly....tough enough!

    I cannot thank you enough for your brave post!! Helping others wherever you can?????? Putting yourself "out there"????? SERIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL!!! :)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Emma1314
    Emma1314 Member Posts: 2
    edited May 2018

    Thank you so much for this post! I'm 37 and scheduled for bilateral mastectomy without reconstruction next week. I'm happy with my decision to not reconstruct, but I've definitely been nervous about what it will be like to live without breasts. Your words brought me to tears. It was just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you for being an inspiration to me.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lisey
    Lisey Member Posts: 1,053
    edited May 2018

    Per, You and me sister... we can show you can rock being flat and still be all woman. 

    Emma, you should join Flat and Fabulous as well, thousands of women supporting one another and it's amazing the clothing options out there.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Emma1314
    Emma1314 Member Posts: 2
    edited May 2018

    Thank you for the suggestion! I've liked the page on FB. I appreciate the help as I am not artsy and tend to pick out whatever clothes are most comfortable rather than fashionable.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited May 2018

    I love this post! Long before breast cancer I used to "dress" my single friends and do their hair or make up. Then, we ALL used to go out for a Friday or Saturday night! Our fun was non stop.....and it always started with "getting ready" at my place first! Music played, my dog or cat would lovingly greet you, a cold drink or a hot beverage (seasonal) served. Scented candles or open windows and fresh breeze to calm you....great conversations, venting, laughter......all things wonderful after a long, work week! Then, I would open my closet and let them "dig in". It was easy for me to make recommendations because I could see where they were trying to take their look....because they were my clothes mixed with their own pieces! Then, I would solicit the help and skills of all the young ladies present......roll up your sleeves and help the girl next to you, if you can! So, we had nails being painted, encouraging words, so much giggling and laughter, hair styling, make up bags and artistry....you name it! We had it covered and we shared with each other....and by the end of an hour or two...we walked out of my place feeling like movie stars and a night on the town! Not sure anyone else saw us like that....lol....but WE DID! And oh....my....goodness.....we had the best times! Nothing and no one got us down. I have been married for 25 years and sadly, many of those "girls" grew up....and grew away. I tried to keep in touch but became busy with my own life and family....and cancer. But I have never forgotten the beauty....the pure joy....of watching women TRULY help and support one another....incredible to watch! I love this post!!!

    I'M CHECKING THIS CONSTANTLY.....please keep posting. Super interesting!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lisey
    Lisey Member Posts: 1,053
    edited May 2018

    Hi Emma,  There is a public page, but the one I'm talking about is a private group called "Flat and Fabulous".   YOu have to join it and wait for a mod to allow you in.  There you will find a ton of women who post tips, surgery suggestions, etc...   Everyone should join F&F (the private group).  I'm in there and post very often.  : ) 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited May 2018

    image

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited May 2018

    Soooooo....I've received a couple of pm's and thought I would post some more photos!! (above) For each photo, I've assigned a "title or label" and I really hope you remember that this is ALL THAT THEY ARE - names, categories!!!!.....Clearly, I've had my photo taken many times in my life....and honestly, it was great fun!! Breast cancer? Not much fun!!!! ): But whatever my title....I have been happy to be alive!! ENJOY YOUR LIFE LADIES AND GENTS!! Don't let anyone tell you that "they know" what beauty looks like....because there is no such thing! It is a state of being!!!!!! It's not even a matter of confidence in appearance.....for me, I've never been the MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE ROOM (who cares??????)....just the best me that I could be!! Trust me, competition was occasionally FIERCE.....but so was I!! And I still am!!! And you can be too!! IF YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.....THE WORLD WILL TOO!!! Do whatever you want to make yourself feel like the strong, survivor that you are - BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY!!!! Be ever so kind to yourself!!!!!!! :)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Smiles1
    Smiles1 Member Posts: 2
    edited June 2018

    Hi Ladies, Thanks for your post. I had double mastectomy 5/10 with expanders put in - I can't believe how hard this is and cry every day- i think i want to have them out and go flat - anyone else have these feelings ?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PerAngusta
    PerAngusta Member Posts: 112
    edited June 2018

    Hi Smiles1!!

    I started this post because I am 100% happy in my own skin - whatever that may be!! I was like this before cancer and I'm still like this today. I took down all of the pics that I had posted because I received some interesting messages that implied that my photos might not belong on this site. I completely understand that this is a SENSITIVE topic for many and my wish was to provide inspiration and support for all the beautiful women out there....not make them feel sad in any way at all. The statistics alone, suggest that I am in a minority of women who do not wish to undergo any procedure for "touching up" my physical appearance (chest area) after breast cancer. Again, I completely understand. We are not all alike. I cried every day after my diagnosis and kept crying for a couple of years...because I had cancer. I was in so much pain....physical, emotional, financial!!! For me, the thought of ADDING something else to my plate.....would be simply too much for me endure. My appearance is important to me....as stated, there was a time when it was VERY IMPORTANT if I wanted to continue modelling. Today, however, I don't have to be a vision of PERFECTION competing with other models....I'm just a mom who wants to look nice, feel good and live long enough to see my children become adults. This is my perspective and so in response to your question.....I certainly did have the feeling that I'd rather GO FLAT....so much so, that when they explained that one breast was full of cancer but the other one only had "abnormal" looking areas that we could keep monitoring....I agonized over the decision but decided that there would be no better way to achieve " AESTHETIC SYMMETRY" than to have them BOTH REMOVED AT ONCE! In my mind, I decided on FLAT for 2 reasons.....1. symmetry and 2. future risk...RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE. I wanted to get through 18 months of treatments and surgeries and WALK AWAY WITH SOME VERSION OF REALIZING/LIVING A HAPPY LIFE AGAIN - free of feeling like I might not be here at any moment!! Nothing was more important to me. I could not sleep or stop crying for fear of losing my life....not my breasts. This was my fear/anxiety.....but again, it is DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE. I think the thing to do is make an educated, well researched decision that works best for you. Only you know what that really is. My heart breaks to hear that you are suffering. But another post author might tell you that it is all worth the pain and suffering. You see? There is no real answer. Every single one of us will experience this "trip" in a different way. But in case you are taking a "vote".....I would absolutely tell you take them out and enjoy your life as a flat woman.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lisey
    Lisey Member Posts: 1,053
    edited June 2018

    Smiles, That was me.  I couldn't breathe, it felt like spikes were in my muscles, they were spasming all the time.   I demanded the F'ers get out of my body two weeks after they were put in.  It took threats of an attorney and self harm to get the job done because my PS was an asshole, but he scheduled me for explant the next day once my witness said she'd testify.  lol

    The minute they came out I felt like 'me' again... and I could begin healing.  I don't mind being flat at all. :) 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Castigame
    Castigame Member Posts: 752
    edited June 2018

    Let me think.. I lost my boobs approx. 18months ago. do I miss my boobs  hell ya.  Do I want fake boobs  hell no.  here is my reasoning.

    A little bit of background story is that my DX was personally severe..  Immediate recon was not recommended at all.. thank god my surgeon, Dr John Kiluk at Moffitt was upfront about it.  He did leave room for future recon however.

    1. I did take life time worth of beating: BMX, 8 DD chemos, rads, elbow lump removal, and radical total hysterectomy to top it off. I won't even consider dog year removal which  basically is liposuction. 

    2. I had perky boobs  nothing can replace  natural boobs.

    3. PTSD of course.. For the last 18 months since BMX, I tried fake boobs  just one day and I HATED them. 


    Now I am happy as a preteen w/o bra 24/7 


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Gigicommon
    Gigicommon Member Posts: 68
    edited July 2018

    When I had my bilateral mastectomy back in October 2017 my plan was to wear fobs. Every time I tried wearing them they were uncomfortable so I've only worn them twice. Along the way I discovered I really enjoyed the freedom of not wearing a bra.

    I ran into an old friend recently who thought my darkened nails are a polish. I told her they were the result of chemotherapy. The friend asked what kind of cancer. I was standing in front of her with no breasts and she hadn't noticed.

    That just cemented in my mind that people aren't as interested in my breasts as I may have thought.

    I am enjoying my flatness and have no interest in changing. However, I definitely support sisters who feel differently.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BT39
    BT39 Member Posts: 34
    edited January 2020

    Just adding my related story, briefly, in case it's helpful to anyone. When I found out I had to have a mastectomy, I actually never considered reconstruction. I too knew it wasn't for me, nor all the extra surgeries. It's been 1.5 years so far and I've been 100% happy with that decision. Enjoying life without bras and how freeing running now feels! And, it's true, people notice your breasts much less than you may think! I was at a young women and breast cancer conference and other participants - who are aware of all these choices and decisions - didn't even notice until I mentioned it at the end of the day.

    I hope more women know it's a choice. I have found doctors sometimes skip straight to recon and fail to mention the first option, which is - do nothing beyond mastectomy and get on with life.

    I too respect everyone's decision as to what makes them feel best. But, no recon certainly did make me feel best!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • wallycat
    wallycat Member Posts: 3,227
    edited January 2020

    I will be going on 13 years NED and still flat. Compared to schlepping around my D-cups, this is very freeing.

    Do I wish I had my original, real breasts? Of course I do. As someone posted, do I want fake renditions that have zero feeling and cause me to worry about silicone induced cancers...no sirrreeeeee.

    We make the best choices we have at the time and I am thrilled (still) not to be burdened with extra surgery, icky stuff in my body and the not getting ogled for my boobs...priceless.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Yogatyme
    Yogatyme Member Posts: 2,349
    edited January 2020

    Its so nice read these posts!! I went flat in Aug of last year and thus far could not be happier w my decision. Just today at lunch, DH told me how proud he was to watch me walking to my car with such confidence. Went on to say that my self confidence is no different than b4 my dx and how glad he is I followed my instinct for no reconstruction as it clearly was the right decision.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Earth_Sky
    Earth_Sky Member Posts: 40
    edited April 2020

    I am so thankful for finding this forum. Thank you each and everyone of you. I am so sorry we all have been dealt this path but so grateful for all the kindness and support we all give each other.

    I decided from day one that I was going to be flat. I will see myself for the first time tomorrow at my post surgery checkup. I will embrace it for the courage I read on this community is helping me more and more. Thank you everyone. (((Hugs)))) and more (((Hugs))).

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories