MARCH 2018 starting RADIATION

petey111 Thanks so much for your input! It helps a ton. I'm not really sure why we are doing rads at the same time as Taxol, but on the bright side...I will get done sooner rather than later! As for skin irritation, my Dr. and nurses told me to NOT buy anything, that they will provide whatever I might need. Hope it's the same for you.

I've had out of town guests since late last week and have not read any of your posts until today. I've missed everyone!

Veeder, sorry to hear about your mom.

Mjb, You have one seriously full plate of treatment protocols! I had 12 weeks of taxol after four rounds of AC. Days three and four after treatment were my "rest" days. The other days weren't too bad...but then again I didn't have to do radiation at the same time. Do you have enough support at home? Keep us posted on how you're doing.

Today was 16/28. I get a bolus every other day which brings the radiation more toward my skin. There is a 2 x 3 inch area under my armpit that is heavily reddened, moderately painful, and beginning to form a blister. I've been alternating between Calendula creme three times daily and Radiaplex Gel and am hoping my doctor will prescribe Silvadene Creme when I see her Thursday (I normally see her on Mondays). The area around my nipple is also red but I can't feel a thing due to post mx numbness. I do feel a little tired but I think it has more to do with tending to guests than the radiation. The rest of this week and weekend will be telling...

Glad everyone's treatments are generally going well. I'm so happy to be on the ride with all of you.

Hi DoubleBloom - Good to hear from you. Tending to guests can be very exhausting. Glad you're doing well.

well, 19/25 done. I feel all is well so far, but the techs and nurse asked me if I was sore...lol I haven’t noticed anything but the sun posion like rash I have on my upper chest and a little on my back. They did prescribe a steroid cream, I started using today so maybe it will help with the rash. I am red like a sunburn, but it really doesn’t hurt. I have two more days this week and a long weekend off, and 4 next week. For those of you just starting, it really isn’t bad after the first few, I’ve gotten to the point that when I get there , I want to get in and get out as fast as I can.

I know that some are getting fatigue, but have you found that any kind of exercise helps?? I’ve tried to keep my walking and (semi jogging) up through this whole life changing event , and some days it does help me get to sleep.

Hoping everyone has a great rest of the week, and a wonderful 🐣 Easter

Fatigue was bad for me for the 2nd-3rd week of treatment but it has improved drastically. I also had my treatment time pushed back to 2pm so that has cut out out the need for a nap between rads and bedtime. I just go to bed earlier now.

My skin started to feel burned and sore from #15/33. Until then I had been fine just using Miaderm 1x-2x/daily. So I desperately started reaching for other means to find relief. I tried cold packs, fresh aloe vera plant, Aquaphor, and Dermoplast spray but found no real relief. Also, the Dermoplast was so oily that it made most of my stickers come off. I called the nurse for advice and she recommended Miaderm again. So I slathered a big dollop on and let myself air off topless at home and it finally felt better! I think Miaderm is my best bet right now so I'm just going to apply it more frequently and more generously to save my skin. Hoping it will hold me up until the end... 15 more to go. Wish me luck!

Woe is me. Honestly, I'm not one for pity parties, and I have no reason to complain - at least none more than we all do - but I have been feeling intermittently irritated, short-tempered, and just plain grouchy. Not at nothing, mind you, but I'm usually pretty good at stiff-arming the stuff that doesn't matter - and most of it doesn't matter. But not lately!

I'm only 5/21 into radiation. Maybe I'm just having a moment where I'm over this. Which is silly because it is not over me. Temporary pity party I guess. Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent.

Oh, kaywrite! I could have written your post, so I'll join your party! I've been SO positive and upbeat (WOW! Just realized I'm going on 6 months since this all started), but for about a week now I've been in a total. down, funk. Not like me at all! Truth be told, physically, I still feel icky, but my mental state is actually a little better today. Onward! We can do it!

Hang in there ladies! This too shall pass. I think it is perfectly acceptable to be a tad grumpy now and then given everything life is throwing at us. I had my first 2 sessions yesterday and today. Very quick and efficient. Very glad I am able to work from home throughout - thinking I'll go bra -less throughout! My husband and I started taking brisk walks and hopefully that helps too. We are in Buffalo, NY and it would be nice if winter would move along and the weather would improve. So, for me, it is so far so good and definitely looking forward to the break on the weekend.

Take care and pamper yourselves - you deserve it!

Thank you all for listening and empathizing. I believe my coping mechanism has definitely taken a hit. Part of this is my schedule - I'm on a train for downtown at 6 a.m. every day, panhandled before and during the ride, and no one has cleaned up the area around the station downtown so early, which is surrounded by smokers and littered with chicken bones, liquor bottles and urine (that's Five Points). I usually get off one stop before and walk a much longer way to avoid this, but it's been too dark and cold lately. I am working half days to accommodate radiation, so that time is frenzied trying to do what I would normally do in a full day. Same train back home (fewer panhandlers in your face), then the drive back into Atlanta for rads, which have been running late so far and leave me stuck in traffic on the way home.

The other part of this is, of course, the challenge of health care - not only the emotional challenge of dealing with breast cancer, but the administrative errors and hijinks of not only the medical facility, but also the insurance company (whose own nurse assigned to my case is mystified), and my employers HR department. So much unnecessary stress on the patient - all of which could be remediated if only people would do the job they are assigned correctly.

It's been more challenging to create peace and calm with this schedule and these human administrative roadblocks. But it's my brain and I have a choice about how I perceive things, so need to get my peace back, adjust to rad schedule, and always remember: I can't control most of this stuff, to save my energy for what I can control, rads and commutes and irresponsible people are going to be there whether I like them or not, so live happily instead of angrily.

Ok - vent over.

I'm only working half days next week, too - then OFF for the remaining rads and recovery. That should help enormously!

As metoo says, this too shall pass. mjb - that's part of it, too: it's been a four-month assault so far, it's bound to wear on us at some point - at least until we rebuild a supply of resilience! Paco, INF, thanks for even saying its ok to vent - that helps. Veeder - exactly.

Thanks again for listening, you're all amazing and inspiring.

Getting back on topic: I don't own a single non-underwire bra; I need a supply of cheap white t-shirts to accommodate the greasy left boob stains of Aquaphor when I sleep at night; someone gave me a copy of Lavender Hair (Victoria Jackson) which I am ready to pass on to anyone who wants it - I'll pay shipping costs wherever you are.

Love and peace xox

Kaywrite, I'm sorry you've a ruff couple of days. That is a lot to deal with but I'm glad to hear you will get some time off work. Vent anytime that's what we are all here for. Meditation always seems to help me when things start getting hairy and venting of course As for your bras, just take the wires out, that's what I did.

Metoo and Paco, How are treatments so far? I hope not to stressful.

Felinemum, Thanks for the gown tie trick, it worked great yesterday!

mjb, Glad the doc is providing skin care for you. You have enough on your plate already. Hang in there.

Double blooming, Sorry to hear about your blister. Hopefully you'll get some relief from the Silvadene.

Hope everyone else is doing as well as they can be.

Today is 8/30 for me. I get a little sting but not bad, my aloe plant is wonderful so far. However I've been getting nauseous the last couple of days, it comes and goes throughout the day. Crackers thankfully help.

Have a wonderful day all! Hope your treatments go well.

DoubleBlooming, The gratitude journal is an awesome idea! To write it down and be able to see the journey is uplifting. I am very grateful everyday that I have made it this far with what I consider minimal complications. Most of my family members who have had cancer lost their battle. I remind myself how lucky I am everyday to have a great support team all around (you gals included). Thank you so much for sharing.

As for your pain, I know it sound crazy but I found meditation very helpful. I'm not one of those people that put my full self into all of the natural healing stuff but it does help. Some places can teach you how to meditate, I learned from practicing yoga. It really helped me through all the pain of the biopsies and my surgeries. I only took three pain meds after my mx and it was to help me sleep. Hang in there. You have a great attitude which is half the battle.

I meant to mention a few apps I use to try and calm my mind. Several of them aren't meditation, but more like white noise apps, but you can turn on beach and storm noises, which I love to imagine myself at the beach or curled up with a book on a stormy day.

Brain.fm is music that is supposed to help your brain waves relax, sleep, focus, etc.

Relax Melodies, Rain Rain, and White Noise are all different noise apps. Relax has some brain wave stuff, meditations, and more music/sounds if you upgrade to the "Pro" app.

Calm and Insight Timer are meditation apps.

I do like some yoga too. I don't go overboard on the wholistic stuff, but I do think there is something to be said for attempting to calm your mind, control your breathing, and trying to let some stuff go (which I'm not good at!). Hopefully, these help!

INFJen--I sure hope my fatigue lessens as I go. I had 12/20 today and slept for 2+ hours in the afternoon!

For those of you who are working during treatment, more power to you! I cannot imagine how I would have gotten through everything while working. My fatigue by itself makes me forgetful and slow.

My skin is beginning to get more irritated now. Had been doing Miaderm 3x/day but last night I had itching and burning across my breast that woke me up twice in the night. They prescribed something the nurse called "Lidex" (generic: fluocinonide) cream. Hoping that keeps me sleeping through the night. It's applied before the Miaderm twice a day. I'm a natural redhead so I expected to have some skin irritation. Hoping to get through the next 8 treatments without too many additional issues.

Forgot to mention this: The nursing staff at my RO's office insisted that I not wear a bra throughout my treatment. The friction of fabric on the treatment area from a bra, particularly one with a wire, is thought to make any skin issues much worse, and the under-breast area and underarm area, I was told, would have the worst reactions. I was instructed to wear cotton clothing against the skin, and to wear a cami or tank top under a loose shirt instead of a bra if I wanted more modesty. (And, if I could, to go without any shirt at least an hour a day.) So I've been walking around without a bra for a couple of weeks and it feels very strange and uncomfortable. But I cannot bring myself to wear any kind of bra after the warnings I got about further irritating my already very pink and irritated skin. Never thought I'd say that I'll be happy for the day when I can put my bra back on; it was always a relief to take it off every evening!

kaywrite--I had a terrible day yesterday too. Near tears twice and just down overall, without any provoking events. Today was better. Seems normal to have ups and downs during treatment, at least for me. And I've been doing my best to work with whatever comes up. I hope you're feeling a little better today as well.

petey111--I've used Insight Timer for a while. Favorite app for meditation (almost as good as meditating with a group). Meditation calms me and always has.

Thanks to everyone about the mediation suggestions. I've used the Aura app and like it. I need to be more consistent to gain the full benefits.

Nancy: I had not thought about meditation for soothing pain. I really appreciate that idea and will use it.

Petey: I love water sounds and just downloaded Relax Melodies. What a great app! I'm listening to the ocean now and it is soooo soothing!

Paco: You know your body better than anyone else. If you think you're tingling you very well may be. Doctors use their best judgment and experience but they're not always right. After finding a lump under my armpit I had a negative mammogram (due to dense breasts) and an ultrasound that showed two only slightly abnormal lymph nodes. The radiologist was on the fence about sending me to biopsy but eventually took the cautious route. A few days later when I got to biopsy, the BS literally said, "I looked at your ultrasound pictures and I can't believe they sent you for biopsy. This is going to be nothing!" He then gave me the option to go home without having the biopsy and I actually considered it for a moment. I knew my husband (also a physician) would have sent me back so I had the biopsy. Three days later I learned that I was Stage 3 TNBC. The BS was shocked and later offered to eat his business card! Even the most experienced doctors will find surprises!

Marigold: I'm praying that you have more ups than downs.

Wishing everyone a safe and relaxing weekend.