Questions nurses ask at every appointment

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Paco
Paco Member Posts: 208
edited March 2018 in Share Your Experiences Of Life After A Breast Cancer Diagnosis

Do these nurses ever stop asking you the same questions at every appointment, you know, before the doctor comes in? I know they take my vitals every time, height, weight, blood pressure, because sure, those can change, but if I have to answer another time, Do you drink alcohol? Do you smoke? Have you ever smoked? Are you sexually active? I mean honestly, isn't that saved somewhere? Geeze. Every. Single. Time. It gets mighty old.

Sidebar: I don't smoke and haven't for probably 25 years but there were a few years where I might have had a cigarette or two (or more), like in college. If I had known then what reproachful looks I'd get for answering yes, I may never have opened up that first pack of cigarettes.

Second sidebar: the alcohol drinking. I was a pretty firm teetotaler just about until my diagnosis. Sure, I had a glass of wine every now and again, but I was really attentive to not drinking more than a glass or two every week, you know, for good health and because alcohol can cause cancer. Now? I drink a glass whenever I gosh darn feel like it. Why not, right? Clearly, avoiding it like the plague didn't keep me from getting cancer...

Thoughts?

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  • gb2115
    gb2115 Member Posts: 1,894
    edited March 2018

    Probably not. Most doctors offices have a set protocol for what they do. If she is entering info into an electronic medical record she will want to enter info for all sections. Its best practice. I know in my clinic there are questions we have to ask...it's mandated. Just be happy they are being thorough!!

    That said I go to a doctor who never updates anything even if you ask them to. I think my med list is still wrong there. Doesn't really bode confidence...

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  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 4,800
    edited March 2018

    They have to ask to take a thorough general health/risk snapshot. And these things can change. People stop & start drinking/smoking/sexual activity.

    regarding risk of recurrence, this meta analysis was published in 2017 & addresses both smoking & alcohol (& notes that we need more evidence for firm guidelines on both) http://www.cmaj.ca/content/189/7/E268

    based on studies like this, I wish the nurses would add a question "how many minutes of moderate exercise are you doing each week?"

    "Physical activity can reduce breast cancer mortality by about 40% and has the most powerful effect of any lifestyle factor on breast cancer outcomes.

    • At least 150 minutes per week of physical activity is recommended"


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  • Paco
    Paco Member Posts: 208
    edited March 2018

    Totally agree with the exercise. In my view, it's not only about the cardiovascular, musculoskeletal or other physical benefits, but it's how it calms your brain and relaxes you. I guess that is attributed to the endorphins or dopamine or something but I do believe that it provides significant health benefits.

    And I cannot be convinced of the alcohol. Again, I have lost faith somewhat in statistics, having found myself in the slim edge of statistics and getting hit with this disease anyway. My feeling now is, just about everything will be fine in moderation.

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  • Cpeachymom
    Cpeachymom Member Posts: 518
    edited March 2018

    Paco- I totally get where you’re coming from! I had been eating healthy, exercising regularly, not smoking, not drinking, etc, pretty much my whole adult life. After diagnosis, I kinda said To Heck With It- I Already HAVE cancer!! Certainly healthy living didn’t help me there! I’ve since gone back to a more healthy lifestyle just because it makes me feel less crummy. Sugar seems to be the devil now when it comes to my hot/cold flashes, so I’m even avoiding that to a point. Sigh..

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited March 2018

    Paco, I only get asked if I’ve fallen or left the country but I am asked every time :)

    Moth, thanks for the link, very useful :)

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  • VL22
    VL22 Member Posts: 851
    edited March 2018

    Paco - I’m not convinced about the alcohol either. I am truly the healthiest person I know and I got cancer. My friends and family were so shocked that some of them fell of the healthy wagon! My best friend was like “why bother!”

    I do believe exercise is important ( before this nonsense I was running 15 miles a week and walking 20), but I must say my faith in healthy living has beennshaken

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  • Aries1
    Aries1 Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2018

    I'm always asked if anyone is abusing me at every appointment.

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  • Paco
    Paco Member Posts: 208
    edited March 2018

    Life is just funny I guess. I will continue my exercise regimen because I love it, not because I feel like I should. I will keep a healthy weight and continue to follow a plant based diet, but gosh darn it if I won't allow myself to have a glass of wine when I want to.  Be damned the reproachful eyes of the radiologist resident who counsels me on the dangers of alcohol and recurrence.

    Speaking of recurrence, I figure, I've got a 50/50 chance. Either it comes back or it doesn't. Sure, the statistics say with all the treatments I'll do, I can lower my individual risk to X percent but my risk of developing breast cancer to begin with (in view of my history, children, breastfeeding, menarche, etc) was -X and clearly I ended up on the wrong side of that equation. So, yea.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited March 2018

    Thry are likely required to ask those things because people’s habits change. Sometimes those changes in habits are the result of something bigger going on such as depression. So I do understand. Put up with the questions; even the ones about abuse. They do lead to some women opening up about situations and may lead to them getting help

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited March 2018

    Amen Paco. Everything in moderation. My SIL is 9 years out and she drinks wine regularly, doesn’t exercise and is very overweight. Maybe obese.

    I don’t buy total abstinence for any number of reasons because I know women on both sides of the healthy/non-healthy equation. No different. The super healthy ones got BC too.

    I’m not advocating not trying to live a healthy lifestyle but frankly I’m sick of all these studies and their conclusions. For every one that suggests one thing there are multiple ones offering a different opinion.

    Besides I love chocolate.

    Diane

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  • Lula73
    Lula73 Member Posts: 1,824
    edited March 2018

    Life is way too short to not enjoy it. I drink in moderation, I eat decadent sweets in moderation and I relish having my morning Coca Cola everyday. I love steak and burgers and eat it every chance I get. fried pickles, fried squash, fried mozzarella? Love them! But only indulge maybe once every month or two. I may pick rowing back up to tone my arms, legs and core but I’m not killing myself with exercise anymore. Just my $0.02.

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  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 1,603
    edited March 2018

    Aries1....ever feel like replying ‘yes, every time I have to wait for test results ‘?

    A chemo nurse once asked me if I was sexually active. I’m sitting there, ballooned up and moon faced from the steroids, skin slowly going grey from the taxol, bald as a billiard ball. I pointed at myself with both hands and said ‘if you were a man would you want to hit this????’ She actually snorted when she laughed. Pretty cool nurse, we got along well

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  • Paco
    Paco Member Posts: 208
    edited March 2018

    A chemo nurse once asked me if I was sexually active. I'm sitting there, ballooned up and moon faced from the steroids, skin slowly going grey from the taxol, bald as a billiard ball. I pointed at myself with both hands and said 'if you were a man would you want to hit this????'

    While this did make me laugh, Egads007, you hit the nail on the head with your anecdote. I find that question super intrusive. If we are adults, above the age of consent, the assumption should be we are sexually active, like any other normal human being. If we are not, what business is it of theirs, or rather, how is that relevant? It's usually not followed by a follow-up question that might indicate the need to counsel on STDs or something. I just don't like answering a 20-something nurse's question about being sexually active when I'm being treated for this awful, sexuality stealing disease. I wonder if doctors ask men during a prostate exam or any other doctor's visit if they are sexually active?

    Call me sensitive, but that's just me I guess.

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited March 2018

    I hate the "do you feel safe at home" every single time. My mother gets really offended at that one since she has been married to my Dad for 57 years. Do they ask the men if they feel safe at home?

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  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 1,603
    edited March 2018

    Hi Paco, it’s definitely intrusive, especially when these questions are asked while I was sitting in a crowded chemo center/waiting area. How could the others not hear? How could the others not listen to the conversation....I know I would! Try as I might to give the person a modicum if privacy I can’t say I’d definitely shut my ears off...I’m human. This should be done privately....even if the question is about my ingrown toenail! It’s my body and my business! I suppose both you and I might be sensitive or even over sensitive but I’ll fight to the death for anyone’s right to feel the way they do...particularly when it comes to medical issues. I chose to use humour when this happened, sitting there getting the deadly drip, I needed to go the funny route for my own sanity, but it still doesn’t make what happened right. Not at all

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  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 1,603
    edited March 2018

    Melissa - if men are ever asked I’m sure it is VERY rare. Please tell they didn’t ask your mother this within earshot of the general public?!

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  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 4,800
    edited March 2018

    Around here, men are asked if they're sexually active and quite often, the question they're asked - even if they're married to a woman - is "do you ever have sex with men?"

    and fwiw, if you want to be snide in your answer to that question of 'are you sexually active', try 'no, mostly I just lie there and wait for it to be over' :p

    I haven't been asked it yet during chemo but we were warned we might be. During the teach they said they try to remind people to use barriers while the chemo is still in the system so you don't expose your partner to cytotoxic chemicals....

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  • Paco
    Paco Member Posts: 208
    edited March 2018

    "Around here, men are asked if they're sexually active and quite often, the question they're asked - even if they're married to a woman - is "do you ever have sex with men?"

    What? What kind of question is that to ask a cancer patient?

    I do love your response to the sexually active question. I may just use that!

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  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 1,603
    edited March 2018

    Moth- ROFL@just lie there...awesome!

    Good point about exposing a partner to the chemo...I actually forgot about that...omg I forgot something awful...score one point for me!!

    Another answer could be ‘yes,yes I am sexually active, but no worries I’m usually alone

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  • Paco
    Paco Member Posts: 208
    edited March 2018

    Another answer could be 'yes,yes I am sexually active, but no worries I'm usually alone


    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited March 2018

    Possibly wanting to be sure you use birth control/don't get pregnant during treatment? My partner is a woman and I never get asked if I'm sexually active. If I don't get asked if I'm safe at home, I sometimes point out that they should be asking this since the rate of same sex partner violence isn't much different from male-female violence. All of these questions should be asked privately, though, as should any health questions. It's a HIPAA violation otherwise.

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