Do you ever feel normal

One more thing---These message boards are a wealth of information! I learned so much about surgery, chemo, and radiation from these boards. If you do have chemo, I encourage you to join the chemo board for the month you begin, and also for the month before you begin. You will get lots of information and support.

I wish you the best of luck!!!!

Like others have said - you will find your "new normal" with time.

I am 15 months out from my diagnosis and there are sometimes days I don't even think about cancer now.

The fear of recurrence is always in the back of your mind (especially when you hear of someone who has progressed or passed away), but I find as the days pass that I think about it less. It is out of our control anyway...so may as well live and enjoy and don't waste time worrying about something you can't control.

Mamasha, you're still in early days. You still need time to heal. You're about to start radiation. Right now, everything probably feels very intense. I felt the same way last year. I've had a lot of complications this year which made recovery difficult. It has taken me a while to get back to near-normal and I don't think my previous-normal will ever come back. But, you know, I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving.

It's very easy for me to get mired in all the "awful." I really have to make myself focus on other things. This fall, I began volunteering with an organization that helps single mothers get on their feet; many of these families have suffered domestic violence and left their homes with literally the clothes on their backs. We also help provide birthdays for their children. One of my jobs is making brightly colored fleece blankets for the kids. This work has absolutely changed my attitude and my life. I may have had cancer (HAD cancer!) but cancer doesn't have ME!

I want my old normal back. Doing everything i can to get there.

I have had those feelings many times Mamasha...especially in the beginning when I would see a picture from before my diagnosis. It made me miss the "simple" days when I didn't live with fear of recurrence and the thought of dying was SO far in the future I never even thought about it.

I still feel that way sometimes...when I'm having a special moment with my kids and/or husband and I get a thought like, "I don't want to lose these moments".

It happens less as the time goes on. You are going to be okay! Believe it.

I have just gotten a diagnosis IDC stage 1 <1cm. We are setting up surgery for next week. Hoping for just radiation. The thing that is flooring me is how relaxed my family is taking this because it is stage 1. I feel almost guilty when I get upset. It's so hard to explain to my family that life has changed for me. They are like " you will be ok, the prognosis is so good." My husband is pushing the dr to see if we can fit a vacation in between surgery and radiation. Have any of you seen people react like this? Is it fear? How do I get them to understand that this is cancer, not the flu?

There is probably an element of fear in their behavior. They are doing what they feel they need to do to process it. Of course, it isn't so helpful to YOU. My adult kids were like this, too. They took the news in stride, maybe just a little TOO well. But really, I didn't expect them to be upset all the time or treat me like I was fragile. My tumor was early stage like yours. As my MO said to me, this year is gonna suck but you're not gonna die.

Your DH is probably trying to establish a sense of normalcy for you both. Actually, I think a little vacation before you get started on rads is a very good idea. Once you start rads you wont be going much of anywhere except work and radiation for about 7 weeks. DH and I took a week in Savannah right before I started chemo because we needed to get away for a bit and I knew we wouldn't be traveling during that.

Best of luck to you all as you and your family figure this out.

Mamasha, thanks so much for raising this question, and thank you everyone for your answers. I feel like every one of you. Even like Sharonita's family. My dx was caught so soon, and my doctors all seem so great, it's like I'm straddling the divide between "cancer, lifetime, take it seriously, zero guarantees, nothing ever the same" and "tiny tumor, modern medicine, blip on the screen, others have 'real' challenges." And I know it's all true.

We will reach at least one, probably several, New Normals. We will not eat blowfish. We will appreciate what is beautiful in our lives. And we will be okay.

And we have this place to come when nothing is okay, and when something is.

Thank you again to everybody.

I too have so many days where one minute I'm ok and the next I feel like I'm falling apart. Had surgery in January . Seeing oncologist this week. Friends and family have been great support to me and reading posts here are helpful as well. Still the fear of the unknown has me petrified

As others have said here, it just takes time. I lived in fear for almost 3 years after my diagnosis. Do the treatments your doctors recommend, and give yourself the gift of time. You will do just fine!

It's a new normal. I am 6 months out from dx and 5 months out from surgery, 2 months out from radiation. I have friends who keep asking if everything is back to normal, and am I "done" with treatment. Well, if you count tamoxifen "done" doesn't happen for awhile, but eyes tend to glaze over when you try to explain that. Life will never be the same as it was before. I expect the cancer shadow will always be there. But I feel there are ways I'm changed for the better, in that some of the material things I cared about before are not important anymore. And other ways not so better. Physically a lot has changed and that is hard.

coker, I think it is very common for us to experience feelings of anger and depression after BC treatment. I felt like you--utterly mutilated and changed beyond believe. I gave my hair, my breasts, my uterus, and my ovaries to this scourge.Everything that makes me female, including my hormones. Hell, yeah, I'm angry! I didn't feel like crying, I felt like setting things on fire!

It is also common for people to develop PTSD following treatment for a potentially life-threatening disease. My DH had it after open-heart surgery and I had it after my BMX went sideways. For me, it manifested in poor concentration, hyper-alertness, anger, and sleeplessness. I was wound tight as a two dollar watch and I couldn't figure out how to fix myself. My doctor recognized my symptoms immediately. She put me on a temporary course of Lexapro, which got my life righted pretty quickly.

If you haven't talked to your doctor about this, you may want to start there. I find that my regular doctor is more responsive than my MO for this kind of thing.

Yikes! 150mg! I had similar reactions to Effexor. My dreams were sooooo intense, so anxiety-provoking. I have chronic insomnia anyway, and that stuff just made everything so much worse. It got so I was afraid to go to sleep at night.

Definitely let your doctor know the severity of your symptoms. There may be a different drug that will help with the hot flashes and night sweats, but not cause all the hallucinations and stuff.

yes sweetie u do slowly start feeling normal again I was diagnosed while making wedding plans for Our 2nd marriage when I found lump in shower I had my cry then decided to fight for my life and to be Positive that with my Faith n family support I would be thru. I am now a 23 going on 24yr Survivor Praise God. I do feel normal took little while. ms Phil. idc stage2 0\3nodes 3mo chemo Lmast then 3mo after then We got married Honeymoon later then rads 7wks 5 days then Tamoxifen 5yrs. God Bless Us All.