I am terrified.

LilSebastian- first of all, welcome. I'm fairly new here also and can tell you these foks are wonderful. Being diagnosed with breast cancer is like a punch to the gut. Nobody can tell you the correct way to react because we are all so different. Fear is a natural response. You're going to hear a lot of unfamiliar words. Record, or at least write down, everything. Ask for explanations on anything you don't understand. Most importantly, know that you are not alone.

LilSebastian, I was diagnosed 2 months ago. My whole life has been turned upside down and I too am terrified for my life. I have a 2-year old and was trying to conceive when I was diagnosed. I have been through the ringer since my diagnosis. I am not yet at a place where I can give you much hope, though hopefully I will be able to do that when the dust has settled. But I can tell you what my experience has been like and what I have learned. And maybe commiserate with you. One thing I have found- there is hope in talking to other women who have dealt and are dealing with this.

I am so sorry you find yourselves here and with little ones. That makes it even harder. Please know it does get sooooo much easier. You are in the toughest spot just now and it is very normal to feel the fear and panic prior to having your treatment plan and all your questions answered. So many move on from this and never look back. As for me I still think much about this damn disease but it in no way monopolizes my life and while fear sometimes creeps in, it is more a fleeting thought than anything nagging or crippling. It changes you in some respect but it does not define you. You will come to know this and life will go on much as before. Until then hang in there.

LilSebastian,

Welcome to Breastcancer.org. We hate the reasons that bring you here, but we're really glad you found us. As you can already see, this is an awesome community for wonderful support, information, advice and encouragement! We're all here for you.

Please do keep coming back, sharing, asking questions, and getting support. We know it's overwhelming right now, and that's scary, but we know the more you find out about what you're facing and get a treatment plan in place, the less overwhelmed and scared you'll feel. Knowledge is power!

We look forward to hearing more from you soon!

--The Mods

lilSebastian. I wrote these words below to another newbie to this website not too long ago and I hope they bring you some comfort. I meant every word I wrote; welcome to a wonderful group of people who know exactly what you are going through. There are thousands of us here, just like you. Here you go.

Hugs

++++

Nothing in the world can prepare us for news like this. It takes time to adjust and to understand that although things have changed dramatically, our lives are still intact and we will be intact in them, too; that treatment is what we do now, but it is temporary, and that feeling abject fear is absolutely a normal reaction no matter how we try to logically make sense of what we've been told.

These discussion boards were so helpful to me; are still helpful to me years later. I hope that you can drop in here and feel the support and understanding of hundreds of thousands of members who have gathered here to offer compassion, information, and hope.

I am an academic and I had to draw back from over-researching in the early days. I had to remind myself that often the not-so-great information I found lacked credibility or was years and years old. One thing that helped me was reading about women who had a worse dx that I did, and finding out that they were 20 years or more out from their dx and still here, enjoying life.

The fact that you are ER/PR+ and HER2- is a plus. My oncologist was ecstatic at that news when we got my pathology report. Take heart in that.

I hated the stigma of getting this dx for no obvious reason--now I know it was pretty much just bad luck and probably a misfire in a cell copy, but I felt singled out. Coming here regularly helped me realize that I wasn't alone and that this dx was yes, a disease dx, but not any different than one like diabetes, or heart disease, or anything else that if left untreated will kill us. I've been talked off a cliff more than once by other members, and I'm so grateful.

Hugs, and know you are among friends and b.c. vets who will help you!

Claire in AZ

Welcome dear and I hope you come back frequently for support. Yes, surgery is often first but you will feel so much better once that is over; the dread is worse than the recovery. Know that radiation + lumpectomy can be as good as masectomy, consider both, and decide what's best for you.

Also do know that MRI technology often makes tumors look larger than they really are.

We are here for you!

LilSebastian, I agree with the others. I was diagnosed just over a year ago, and am finished with treatments (other than taking tamoxifen every day) now. For me, the scariest part was the time between my first biopsy and my surgery. After that, things moved quickly and I felt like we were DOING something about the cancer. Having surgery and getting it out of my body was huge for me emotionally.

LS:

I'm so sorry you are here, but as others have said, very glad you found us. (I could not have made it through 2017 without my BC.org team.)

Everyone is right: Just after diagnosis is the WORST time. So much uncertainty and outright fear. But I promise you, it gets better. Somehow with a treatment plan in place and more knowledge, this journey gets easier.

If you find you cannot sleep or are too anxious, it's okay to ask your doctor for something to help. Many of us had to initially.

Ask any and all questions, no matter how small. Someone will answer. There are also lists upon lists here to help you prep for surgery.

Big virtual hug from me to you. You are not alone.

I remember back to that time in my own life. It is such a scary place to be. I wasn’t sure what questions to ask, and everything seemed to be happening so fast. I would encourage you to ask your doctors about the benefits vs. the risks, how long they expect the treatment to take, what it will entail, how often, etc. Will there be radiation? If they are thinking surgery, and if so, would it be a lumpectomy or a mastectomy, if a mastectomy, will you have reconstruction. If so, it’s usually started at time of mastectomy. I know so many things determine other things, but try to arm yourself with as much information as you can. And what you can’t get or if you forget to ask, heck, that’s what we are for.

I’m right there with you, and will be here to see you through. Stay strong, stay positive, and remember...it’s your body, so you get to decide what happens to it! Wish you well! Message me anytime. Bonni

Thank you your words are just what I need today Diane

LilSebastian, I think about my first response to this thread from time to time, and feel like I'm finally able to respond that I am in a good place. It took about 6 months, lumpectomy, chemo, and a few rounds of radiation. I am almost through with this battle. I hope you are getting through yours ok.