Thoughts on Marriage

Options
normalcani
normalcani Member Posts: 230
edited June 2014 in Humor and Games
I'm a single girl, but I thought this was pretty funny and god know we can all use a giggle now and then.....

Hugs....
Candi


You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or
get
married and wish you were dead.

**********

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You
order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you
wish
you had ordered that.

**********

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man!"

**********

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool
when I
married you."

She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

**********

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted."

Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You
can have mine."

**********

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to
let
her keep him.

**********

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"

And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

**********

A Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africaa man doesn't
know
his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

**********

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until
I got married; by then it was too late! "

**********

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second
marriage
is the triumph of hope over experience.

**********

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word
you say, talk in your sleep.

**********

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking
they had no faults at all.

**********

You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when he starts to go out
with
the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

**********

During a heated spat over finances the husband said, "Well, if you'd
learn
to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid."

The wife, fuming, shot back, "Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to
make
love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener too ."

**********

Husband: Want a quickie?

Wife: As opposed to what?

**********

How do most men define marriage?

A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Catherine
    Catherine Member Posts: 305
    edited August 2004
    Very true and good for some laughs.

    Catherine
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Catherine
    Catherine Member Posts: 305
    edited August 2004
    My thoughts on marriage, "It's like you pick your own poison."

    Catherine
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2004

    i loved being married and although im now divorced(1 year) i hope to fall in love again and marry again-i never understood the idea of "womens liberation" because i never felt enslaved-perhaps one thing i really love about living in europe is that as a woman you can just"be"-no one says "so,what are you DOING?"-i remember some professional associates of mine visiting here after i married and had blissfully put any semblance of a career on ice-they couldnt understand it-how could i not be bored etc etc-i felt sorry for them -i had married a guy who was the love of my life and who i was smitten with-it was like living a fairytale-i was being adored as a woman and what could be more fantastic-men here seem to appreciate the fact that you simply exist-love and passion are the most important things to me-keeping them alive in marriage is hard though -any one have any success stories regarding keeping love and passion high during marriage-its so sad when passion fades.............

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Catherine
    Catherine Member Posts: 305
    edited October 2004
    I read somewhere that if a woman bitches about her husband, those are the marriages that last (because she has realistic expectations and knows what her husband is really like). I thought that was rather amusing.

    Catherine
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2004

    i never did bitch about him-even now i refuse to -i find it bizarre to go on a date and be expected to explain why i divorced my ex-how can you sum up the complications of a grand amour in a few sentences to a stranger-also its something that will always stay sacred to me-my divorce though took place under highly unusual circumstances - no one i know has ever heard of anything like it-still i dont approve of people going out on a first date and trashing their ex's-i went out once with this guy and when i would not discuss my divorce i said to him:how many people around the world are sitting at a saturday nite first date and trashing their ex's to strangers?and what do you think your ex is saying about you?that it was her fault the marriage didnt work?although i never bitched about my ex we certainly did fight alot-i think we created havoc at every romantic restaurant in france-actually he proposed during an argument in a bar.........................during our last divorce hearing i reamed him for 2 hours in the halls of the french courts..several lawyers for other people came over and asked if i could talk a bit less loud....i think the other women there were wishing they had the guts to get their last licks in........a week later i got diagnosed with bc-he was the first person i called crying!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Catherine
    Catherine Member Posts: 305
    edited November 2004
    Lucky, I think you are the exception regarding not trashing your ex-. That's a better thing to do, but most people bitch plenty about their ex-husbands. I bitch about my sister's ex- affectionately known as "The Weasel". I hated that guy when she was married to him. He was screwing the best man's wife at my wedding. Talk about a pain in the a**. I was upset at my own wedding due to that loser.

    My sister was divorced after six years. He had a drinking and drug problem and was also abusive. I still can't quite figure out how my sister hooked up with this loser.

    When Patrice's rented home burned up in the Oakland, CA fire (13 years ago), she was having trouble dealing with her (and Weasel's) son who was 14. I had him for 13 months. Weasel would call the kid, push all the right buttons and get the kid so upset that he'd be up crying until 2:00 a.m. I told him, "I don't mind you calling your mother, but why should I be paying for phone calls to your Dad when he just gets you upset?"

    Weasel is on his sixth wife by now and he's only 55. He's a professor at the University of Montana and has his pick of all kinds of young girls. When he was married to my sister he was messing around with lots of young girls. I'm sure he still is. He is too creepy for words and nothing special to look at. I could understand it better if he was some good looking hunk, but he's a dead ringer for General Custer!

    Catherine
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Catherine
    Catherine Member Posts: 305
    edited April 2006
    Bringing this to the top.

    Catherine
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2006

    Good ones

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories