My girlfriend was just diagnosed.

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Triple3
Triple3 Member Posts: 1
edited February 2018 in Just Diagnosed

Hi, I'm feel like have no one to turn to to find answers. It's all a shock right now and all I want to do is help her in anyway that I can. I think it is the most common type and we don't know if surgeon or what type of treatment will be needed, we haven't got to that point. She's 44 and she is the most important person in my life besides my kids and her twin boys. We been together for almost 2 yrs. Last night was a long and sleepless one for her and I couldn't sleep as well. We do not live together but we talked about it. We live in San Antonio but I just got hired in Austin, tx wish is not to far and I'm willing to commute to Austin and live closure to her in San Antonio. The day when she found out she had cancer and told me I went to her house that night and I kissed her, and told her “we do it together" and she nodded her head and said yes,while crying and I shed some tears while trying to be strong for her. I thought that was that and we were going to conquer this together but then she said I didn't need this in my life and to move to Austin and not to worry about her because I was only her boyfriend and I shouldn't have to deal with her. I just tried to listen and be supportive. I told her I'm not going away to Austin or taking a pause or running way form this situation. I told her I love her and I want to stick by her no matter what bad things happen in our lives. I'm not sure if I'm doing anything right, right now. How can I best help her.

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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited February 2018

    Hi Thriple 3,

    I'm sorry you are going through this. It is good that you are not running away from this which many people would do in your situation.

    Right now she is scared, especially since it sounds like there are kids involved as well who she is also worried about.being a burden. No one wants to do that. She is probably trying to not be a burden but very scared herself.

    I don't know if she has other family around or not to help her or not but she is going to need help weather she realizes it or not at this point. You cannot do this alone.

    It sounds like she may need to know you are there and care. Offer to go to appointments with her if she is ok with that. All the information can be very overwhelming at the beginning. A second brain to take it all in and to take notes can help.

    Once a plan is determined for treatment she may needs rides at times as well since she physically may not be able to drive. Help with kids. Food. General support.

    It sounds like you really care about this person and make sure she knows you don't love her less because of cancer. You are ready to be on the team to help her fight this.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited February 2018

    Hi Thriple, and welcome to Breastcancer.org,

    We're so sorry to hear of your girlfriend's diagnosis, but we're really glad you found us. Our Community is an incredible source of support, information, and advice, and as you can already see, there are always others willing to support you and your girlfriend.

    While you're sure to receive some great responses here, you may also want to check out the For Family, Caregivers, Friends, and Supporters forum, where you can meet other loved ones of diagnosed people and share experiences and learn ways to help your girlfriend manage this diagnosis.

    We hope this helps and we look forward to hearing more from you soon! Also, make sure you mention this incredible resource to your girlfriend -- she may be looking for a way to gain additional support as well, and our main site and this Community can offer that!

    --The Mods

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