how about drinking?

illimae · February 2018

Lol! Yup, snarky here

When people ask if I’m done with treatment, I say no, I still get IV meds every 3 weeks forever. Then they say forever?! And I tell them until it stops working or I die. Now puzzled, they usually say, but you look so good and I tell them that cancer really seems to agree with me.

MemaSue56 · February 2018

Just pooping in for a minute to catch all up. NO SURGERY TIL APRIL 4. PS is gonna b on vacay. I am struggling not to sink down in da wabbit hole. But wanted to thank all for the positive thoughts, prayers, and pep talks. I'm just praying my new MO will give me Herceptin drip on Tues, 27th. I could not get a confirmation via phone...so may have to do a 'dance' on someones head come Tues.

Lubslubslubs

ChiSandy · February 2018

Changed my avatar, at least for now. Realized my previous one was taken when I was only 60, sans glasses and with makeup. My new one is me, barefaced (except glasses), at 67. I feel it's more honest. (Except that eyeglass frames are the "new concealer").

illimae · February 2018

ChiSandy, very nice pic and I gotta say your bio cracked me up! Ha ha! FYI, those of us prone to hypochondria are totally vindicated by cancer, lol

Jazzygirl · February 2018

Ill- that is funny, cancer agrees with me. I heard a few of those "but you look too well to have cancer" comments when I went through everything.

Chi- I like your new avatar!

I went to the second breast cancer yoga class today. Some of the same ladies, some different ones. I have an observation about the yoga instructors I will share once I am down the line further on checking out these classes (one more to go which I may try in the next few weeks!)

ChiSandy · February 2018

When I first told Bob I had breast cancer, he said that hypochondriacs who get a cancer or other major disease diagnosis are his best, most compliant patients. When I asked him why, he replied that they're grateful that doctors are finally taking them seriously. I am a card-carrying (i.e., my Medic-Alert card) hypochondriac. I want my epitaph to be quite simple: "SEE?" (Oscar Levant's was "I Told You I Was Sick!").

MelissaDallas · February 2018

My favorite summer drink. Deep Eddy Ruby Red vodka, big splash of grapefruit juice, top off with Jarritos or other grapefruit soda (or club soda) for some fizz

Jazzygirl · February 2018

Melissa- welcome to our thread. I LOVE ruby red vodka! Thank you for this!

MelissaDallas · February 2018

Thank you!

NativeMainer · February 2018

Good Morning, Loungettes!Happy Saturday! It was sleeting last night when Sadie and I went to bed, fortunately didn't accumulate very much and looks like it will melt off today now that the sun is coming out. Starting to see lots of seeds and gardening stuff out in stores already. I need to decide what I want to do this year. The herbs did really well on the deck last summer, I think I'll do that again this summer. I've still got quite a bit of the herbs I dried last fall. Need to remember to use them more! Got an e-mail from Hospice, Clinical Manager 1 wanted to know if I would work with some new staff this coming week--that was an easy one to say yes to! It will be nice to have a few work days that don't involve driving 100 miles during the course of a day. Depending on the weather I may take Sadie with me and take her to the local dog park during lunch and let her play a bit.

Jazzy--the dry winter weather can really do a job on the skin, can't it? Sounds like work things are working out well for you for the comingyear. I like the "yours was worse, you win" comeback! I bet that really shuts some people up! I noticed the time change coming up when I was updating my wall calendar, spring really isn't far away now, no matter what the Groundhog said!

Illi--I bet very few people grill you about the beast more than once! It is amazing how many people do not realized bc is never considered cured and how many are living with stage IV disease. Public education has a long way to go.

Mema--aarrgghh!!PS is allowed a vacay, but not when it means one of my peeps needs to wait! That has got to be so hard. Wish I could fix it. Still praying for you. I'll tell God He needs to put a ladder in the wabbit hole, and maybe carve out a few ledges and install reclining chairs or comfy beds on them for rest stops. Oh, each ledge has a direct phone line to the HTL Tenders who will hand deliver any libation requested.

Chi--Love the new pic, you look great!

MelissaDallas--welcome to the HTL!What a great sounding drink, wouldbe wonderful in warm weather, or any weather for that matter. Pretty, too!.

NM's DOTD--Melissa's Ruby Red!

goldie0827 · February 2018

NM, that busy day at work, I think was with hospice, had to be a good look and reminder as to hard you were working EVERYDAY! No more circus, no more monkeys. Or is it no more bull and no more bullSH*T? Glad you will get some work with hospice that won't be so involved with too many patients and too many miles. I forget about my herbs too and need to dry some this year. Love some of the come backs for Karen. And I LOVE your design for the wabbit hole, it's poyfect!

Jazzy, we got another couple of inches of snow this morning. As of yesterday it was all gone and back to being dry as a popcorn fart. You had some good come backs for Karen too. My little angel fairy for my friend sits on my entertainment center, along with my dads ashes.

Illona, I guess cancer agrees with me too! And the rest of us stage IV goils, as they have been at for quite some time now

Oh Sue, this waiting has to really be playing on you. Pweeze try and stay outta dat hole. But if not, mese glad to join you.

Sandy, at first I thought we had a new loungette. There was nothing wrong with your other picture. You look great in both and really not much of difference. I bet if you took the glasses off and put make up on, it would look very similar.

Well hey there Melissa. Welcome and thanks for the dwink!

Leaving in 5 days, looking forward to see my mom and brothers. Just hoping all goes well with the Queen! Hubby still struggling with whatever is going on. Just waiting on approval for an MRI.

goldie0827 · February 2018

Here are my dads ashes. The plate behind him is a tin. My bad, I had it sitting in a spot where the sun was hitting it and it split. Totally bummed me out. My grandmother top left and dad bottom right

The next photo is for my friend Suzanne. Both of us had ponds and we often floated around in mine or hers with cocktails and she also liked gardening. Hers was mainly flowers and such. So her fairy used to sit in my garden by my little pond, which I no longer have.

illimae · February 2018

NM, I “educated” my mother recently, lol. She was dxd stage 1 a few years ago and had the unfortunate lack of sense to do a little happy dance and declare herself cancer free after discussing my treatment for brain mets. I somewhat rudely reminded her that one is not actually cured until they die of something else.

NativeMainer · February 2018

Good Morning, Loungettes! Sadie and I had a nice quiet day yesterday. Puttered around the house, but didn't do a whole lot. Not going to do much today, either, one of my eyes has started watering and stinging and is blood shot, got to get that cleared up before work tomorrow. Looks like some snow moving in today, Hopefully not too much, I'm getting tired of snow. Whatever, though. Not like we have any control.

Goldie--I was thinking about how that was the norm when I was working late the other day. All the more reason to keep control of my schedule. I did have to catch and cage that one monkey in order to answer the family's questions, but I did let 2 other monkeys go that their handler will have to deal with when back from vacay, but no one will get hurt between now and then. Have a good trip to see your family. And I hope DH feels better soon.Nice memorial to your parents. Love the fairy, too!

Illi--even our mothers can be out of touch with reality and common sense at times.

NM"s DOTD:

Mad Eye Martini

Mad Eye Martini

What You'll Need

1/2 ounce Hpnotiq liqueur
1 ounce premium vodka
2 ounce lychee juice
1 lychee (search for canned lychees in syrup)
1/4 teaspoon cherry, strawberry or
raspberry preserves
1 blueberry

How to Make It

Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice.
Shake well.
Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

For Lychee Eyeball Garnish:

Drain and dry lychee, then fill with preserves.
Place blueberry, blossom end facing out, into the cavity.
Skewer with cocktail pick and lay across rim of glass

Jazzygirl · February 2018

Happy Funday Sunday everyone- been a quiet weekend working on the house and getting the last of my tax prep work done to send to my accountant. I have been working to increase my exercise with walking and yoga and tomorrow will return to the pool (longest I have been away to date, like three weeks). I really wanted to be sure I was through this respiratory stuff and finally feel like my lungs and sinuses are strong again. Today is yoga and more walking, and will get back in the water tomorrow before I loose any more of my aquatic fitness. Takes a long time to build that up and a very short time to loose it.

I wanted to share my experience with my second bc yoga class on Friday. The teacher was someone from one of the local yoga studios I have been too (I used to know the old owner, now owned by two young gals). Same location, and the room was a bit hot and one of the women got dizzy. She thought it was her meds, but I pointed out to the instructor it was very hot in the room with no air circulation. So we adjusted that and the class was really nice and restorative. Everyone in the room was 50's on up, and heat is NOT our friend in the post menopausal and hormone blocker world.....

I chatted with her about my interests to become certified to teach BC patients, and mentioned I was coming to my five years and was going to wait until at least next year to seriously get on the certification process (time and money). I mentioned to her my feet had issues on the aromatase inhibitors and wanted to get better from that, but could tell she had no idea what that was. So my hope is that if I get certified to teach yoga, as a bc survivor, may have a bit more knowledge of what goes on in the post recovery world at least based on my own experience. i can see the importance of taking the bc specific courses, vs. standard certification training. I did like the class and will go back on Friday's when I am not able to get to the pool at noon (or if I am a maniac, I can swim and get to the class after as there could be enough space to do so). As you know, I am sort of a maniac too!

Speaking of the AIs, this coming Wed is my last day on the AIs. I had been debating about getting another bottle to get to the "exact date" in March, but my MO's CNP said I could finish my Feb bottle and call it done. I told Walgreens the script was done per my doctor's office and they said "oh good, it has expired anyways" so no more reminders. I do remember the five year thing feeling so impossible when I started the meds, but I made it.

As part of that, I wanted to share with you I probably won't be here quite as much going forward. I do plan to continue on BCO, but probably will only be here once a week vs. every day or few days. Part of my own process and needing to focus on moving forward in to some new things unfolding with work and life. I share this just so you know if you don't hear from me as often, that you don't worry about me (as I know we tend to do when people go off the threads for awhile or even forever).

I do care about all of you so very much and also want to thank you for all your love and support around my recovery process since I joined you a few years ago. I came here stalking Cami as she was on other threads with me when I started, and found a wonderful community of women (and yes, you are my favorite thread too!) I do know the five years does not mean I am "done with this" as some friends like to say, but it is a milestone with my own healing process as I come off the drugs, that I am grateful for to protect me. But also have caused other issues for me too I am looking forward to now recovering from. I know many of you are on FB with me (spending less time there too, but for different reasons), so you can keep tabs on me there as well or PM me here any time as I get the notifications via e-mail.

I plan to be back here again sometime next weekend and wish you all a great day and good start to March

NativeMainer · February 2018

Good Morning, Loungettes!Happy Monday! Going in to work Hospice today with a bit of a twist. Clinical Manger 1 is having me work with new staff today and probably tomorrow, so I finally get to do some teaching and support some new people without the newbies feeling like they are taking up someone's time that needs to be elsewhere. I see the effect of Clinical Manger #4's ideas here. Of course, it means I'll probably only work 8 hours today rather than 10 or 12, but that does not hurt my feelings at all! And Sadie will like it, I'll be home sooner in the evening!

We got an inch of sleet and wet snow yesterday. Very crunchy. Very pretty. Should melt off today if it does get up into the 40's as the weather guessers say it should.

Jazzy--so true about heat not being the friend of the post-meno, and/or AI treatment phase ladies. Glad you could point out that and divert the poor lady from blaming her meds. Sometimes we are took quick to blame meds when the answer is really much simpler. Some things are work being maniacal about, like pool and yoga time, just don't go overboard. HOORAY for having the 5 year finish line in reach! I remember how long that sounded when I started, and how I was kind of surprised when it came to the end. As to not being in the Lounge as often, I will miss you're frequent posts. You have been a great help to me this last year as I changed my life/work focus. This is a natural turning point for many women, and a logical point to shift focus. Glad you are doing so well, will look forward to when you do post, and wish you the best of luck!

NM's DOTD:

Ran across this, haven't seen one in YEARS! A "Lady's" drink:

Pink Squirrel

Image result for pink squirrel

What You'll Need

3/4 ounce crème de noyaux
3/4 ounce white crème de cacao
1 1/2 ounces heavy cream

How to Make It

Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice.
Shake well.
Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Crème de noyau is like amaretto. Both liqueurs have the same almond flavor despite the fact that neither is made from almonds. Instead, crème de noyau is made from the pits (or stones) of apricots, peaches, plums and other 'stone' fruits. Noyaux is French for "stone" or "kernel," so the name makes sense.

The main difference between crème de noyau and amaretto is the color. Noyaux is a brilliant red and amaretto is often a deep brown. This makes the Pink Squirrel substitution less than ideal because amaretto will not create a pink drink!

Beyond popularity, there are other issues surrounding crème de noyau. One that scares many drinkers away is the cyanide potential. There is a compound in the noyau that turns to hydrogen cyanide when digested. The majority of the time, the quantities are too small to be harmful and nothing to worry about. It is, however, something to be aware of.

If you find the rare bottle of crème de noyau today, it is probably like Hiram Walker's and flavored artificially. Bols does make a crème de noyau that is made from apricot kernels. Either is a good option for a Pink Squirrel, the only question is whether your local liquor store stocks it.

goldie0827 · February 2018

Jazzy, we will miss you friend. Good luck on everything, your health, your exercising and things the workfront.

NM I hope you have a pleasant day at hospice. Perhaps you should tell the newbies not to go above and beyond a!nd get burnt out and to not take any sh!t from the clinical managers.

I'm getting so frustrated with my moms care, of should I say lack there of! Not that she is not getting good care at the nursing home/rehab, cuz she is, but they are sending her home tomorrow. We just keep getting shoved off to someone else, who shoves us off to yet another. Here is a letter I wrote to her social worker there at rehab and her response. Mind you my mom has not been home since the beginning of the year.

My letter to her....

Jessica,

I'm really concerned with mom going home on Tuesday. We are not having any luck at all trying to get her placed somewhere. She either doesn't meet the criteria or doesn't make enough money. Anyone we talk to says we can't help try this place. We just keep going in circles with no help or answers.

Talking to her on the phone this morning, she is still repeating things and asking the same questions. Doesn't remember I'm coming on Thursday, and she has known this for months. I had said to her that I saw she seen her grand daughters pictures from Cancun, she even commented on them but doesn't remember. I asked her if she went to the dining room for lunch, she said I don't know, I guess. Don't know what she had to eat. She was crying and scared, very shaky voice. I just don't know what to do. I got her a thing to wear around her neck that all she has to do is push the button and it calls 911. Told her this before and put it on her Facebook page, she replied to it, but now doesn't remember.

Lori

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Her response...

Lori –

I spoke with Denise, Physician Assistant for Dr. Langnas, this morning. She stated that she was going to run some labs and see how they looked. I can ask her to give you a call tomorrow (if she's in) or Wednesday (her normal day) to discuss any questions/concerns you may have. I hope that having a discussion with her would provide some clarity that I may not be able to provide.

Jessica

ChiSandy · February 2018

Jazzy, we'll miss you--but for what a wonderful reason! To be done with treatment and yet young enough to move on and ahead with one's life work and passion is truly a blessing!

Lori, hope your mom's social worker can find the right strings to pull.

50s and sunny today. Ran a couple of errands, and noticed to my chagrin all the detritus covering up my lawn (especially at the base of my magnolia, where the crocuses should come up, and the side strip where my perennial herbs and a couple of berry canes appear). About half dead leaves & twigs and the other half locust bean pods. Hope we can get it raked before the snow comes back Thursday.

This was a movie marathon weekend. Thurs. night we went to see Lady Bird; Bob worked Fri. night and then we watched Olympics; Sat. night we watched a screener Blu-Ray (Gordy's friend is a director in L.A. and thus an Academy voter) of Phantom Thread. Yesterday we saw I, Tonya (it wasn't nominated, but we went to see it mostly to see whether Margot Robbie might be a dark horse for Best Actress and whether Allison Janney might beat out Laurie Metcalf for Best Supporting Actress). The only Best Pic nominee we have yet to see is Call Me By Your Name, but both Gordy and his director pal were unimpressed; Timothee Chalamet doesn't stand a chance against Gary Oldman's Churchill--which is probably why Sam Rockwell was entered by Three Billboards'... producers in the Best Supporting Actor rather than Best Actor category; as good as his co-star Woody Harrelson was, they're not going to split the vote between them and let Dafoe or Jenkins pull an upset. DOTD yesterday was Rivarose Brut at the theater's bar/restaurant (we brought it in, along with dinner, to our seats).

Speaking of Oscars, here are some of my observations:

BEST PICTURE--will win: The Shape of Water. Gee-whiz special effects, highly original fantasy (will also win for directing & original screenplay); still playing in theaters. Should win: Three Billboards. No gimmicks, fantasy, or special effects (except for fires).

BEST ACTOR--Gary Oldman. No one else even came close.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR--Sam Rockwell. Ditto.

BEST ACTRESS--will win: Frances McDormand (Three Billboards). Might win: Saiorse Ronan (Lady Bird) because of dropping her thick brogue for a perfect general American accent and playing a 17-yr-old (she's 23); dark horse: Sally Hawkins (The Shape of Water), because three acting Oscars came from playing mutes (Patty Duke, The Miracle Worker; Marlee Matlin, Children of a Lesser God; Sir John Mills, Ryan's Daughter; though it wasn't the charm for nominees Holly Hunter in The Piano or Alan Arkin for The Heart is a Lonely Hunter); Margot Robbie (I, Tonya) because of dropping her Aussie accent to sound exactly like Tonya Harding (whom we see & hear during the closing credits), plus learning to figure-skate in only 6 months (though she had stunt doubles for jumps & spins). Should win: McDormand. Raw & real. And the character was written for her.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS--will win: Allison Janney (I, Tonya); Should win: Laurie Metcalf (Lady Bird). Again--real, raw, no artifice, no accents, no existing person to study for doing an impression. (I, Tonya's script was partly taken verbatim from taped interviews, news footage and court testimony). The toughest way to create a character, from the heart, working without a net.

BEST DIRECTOR--will win: Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water. See above reasons. Should win: Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk. Incredibly complex with battle and underwater scenes and little dialogue--but still riveting. But it came out last summer, which for Oscar purposes is a decade ago in dog years.

BEST ANIMATED FILM--Coco.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE--will win: John Williams, Star Wars, yada yada. Sentimental favorite, the Academy loves him. Should win: Jonny Greenwood, Phantom Thread. "Woven" (sorry, someone had to say it) seamlessly with classical symphonic standards to the point where it all sounds integrated; made a bizarre psychological character study of a film a bit more believable. All the more amazing when you consider Greenwood's provenance: the alternative rock band Radiohead. (But hey, it worked for Danny Elfman to the point where more people know him for his film & TV scores than for his band.....uh, whatsitsname? Oh, yeah--one-hit wonder Oingo Boingo.

BEST SONG--beats me. None stands out, IMHO--not an earworm in the bunch. Probably either the one from Marshall (because of the subject matter and that Common--a proven winner for his song for Selma--wrote & sings it), or the one from Mudbound, because of its Best Supporting Actress nominee, acting newbie but music star Mary J. Blige on lead vocal.

Gotta binge-watch short subjects, documentaries, & foreign films on Netflix all week. Bob has that "Oscar Wiener" contest title at Cellars to defend.

ChiSandy · February 2018

This is maddening--none of my italics or bolds are showing up in the posts, though they're there when I'm composing it! No choice of which "text editor" to use, either. When I'm typing on a tablet, and have to make edits, words run together unless I add extra spaces.

I HATE the Web software BCO uses!!!!

ChiSandy · February 2018

Jazzy, we'll miss you--but for what a wonderful reason! To be done with treatment and yet young enough to move on and ahead with one's life work and passion is truly a blessing!

Lori, hope your mom's social worker can find the right strings to pull.

50s and sunny today. Ran a couple of errands, and noticed to my chagrin all the detritus covering up my lawn (especially at the base of my magnolia, where the crocuses should come up, and the side strip where my perennial herbs and a couple of berry canes appear). About half dead leaves & twigs and the other half locust bean pods. Hope we can get it raked before the snow comes back Thursday.

This was a movie marathon weekend. Thurs. night we went to see Lady Bird; Bob worked Fri. night and then we watched Olympics; Sat. night we watched a screener Blu-Ray (Gordy's friend is a director in L.A. and thus an Academy voter) of Phantom Thread. Yesterday we saw I, Tonya (it wasn't nominated, but we went to see it mostly to see whether Margot Robbie might be a dark horse for Best Actress and whether Allison Janney might beat out Laurie Metcalf for Best Supporting Actress). The only Best Pic nominee we have yet to see is Call Me By Your Name, but both Gordy and his director pal were unimpressed; Timothee Chalamet doesn't stand a chance against Gary Oldman's Churchill--which is probably why Sam Rockwell was entered by Three Billboards'... producers in the Best Supporting Actor rather than Best Actor category; as good as his co-star Woody Harrelson was, they're not going to split the vote between them and let Dafoe or Jenkins pull an upset. DOTD yesterday was Rivarose Brut at the theater's bar/restaurant (we brought it in, along with dinner, to our seats).

Speaking of Oscars, here are some of my observations:

BEST PICTURE--will win: The Shape of Water. Gee-whiz special effects, highly original fantasy (will also win for directing & original screenplay); still playing in theaters. Should win: Three Billboards. No gimmicks, fantasy, or special effects (except for fires).

BEST ACTOR--Gary Oldman. No one else even came close.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR--Sam Rockwell. Ditto.

BEST ACTRESS--will win: Frances McDormand (Three Billboards). Might win: Saiorse Ronan (Lady Bird) because of dropping her thick brogue for a perfect general American accent and playing a 17-yr-old (she's 23); dark horse: Sally Hawkins (The Shape of Water), because three acting Oscars came from playing mutes (Patty Duke, The Miracle Worker; Marlee Matlin, Children of a Lesser God; Sir John Mills, Ryan's Daughter; though it wasn't the charm for nominees Holly Hunter in The Piano or Alan Arkin for The Heart is a Lonely Hunter); Margot Robbie (I, Tonya) because of dropping her Aussie accent to sound exactly like Tonya Harding (whom we see & hear during the closing credits), plus learning to figure-skate in only 6 months (though she had stunt doubles for jumps & spins). Should win: McDormand. Raw & real. And the character was written for her.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS--will win: Allison Janney (I, Tonya); Should win: Laurie Metcalf (Lady Bird). Again--real, raw, no artifice, no accents, no existing person to study for doing an impression. (I, Tonya's script was partly taken verbatim from taped interviews, news footage and court testimony). The toughest way to create a character, from the heart, working without a net.

BEST DIRECTOR--will win: Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water. See above reasons. Should win: Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk. Incredibly complex with battle and underwater scenes and little dialogue--but still riveting. But it came out last summer, which for Oscar purposes is a decade ago in dog years.

BEST ANIMATED FILM--Coco.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE--will win: John Williams, Star Wars, yada yada. Sentimental favorite, the Academy loves him. Should win: Jonny Greenwood, Phantom Thread. "Woven" (sorry, someone had to say it) seamlessly with classical symphonic standards to the point where it all sounds integrated; made a bizarre psychological character study of a film a bit more believable. All the more amazing when you consider Greenwood's provenance: the alternative rock band Radiohead. (But hey, it worked for Danny Elfman to the point where more people know him for his film & TV scores than for his band.....uh, whatsitsname? Oh, yeah--one-hit wonder Oingo Boingo.

BEST SONG--beats me. None stands out, IMHO--not an earworm in the bunch. Probably either the one from Marshall (because of the subject matter and that Common--a proven winner for his song for Selma--wrote & sings it), or the one from Mudbound, because of its Best Supporting Actress nominee, acting newbie but music star Mary J. Blige on lead vocal.

Gotta binge-watch short subjects, documentaries, & foreign films on Netflix all week. Bob has that "Oscar Wiener" contest title at Cellars to defend.

ChiSandy · February 2018

Oh, great--now the italics show up but the bolds don't! I give up. Anyone else frustrated by BCO's text quirks????

NativeMainer · February 2018

Good Morning, Loungettes!Happy Twofer Tuesday! Very nice day at work yesterday, things are actually moving forward with updating and improving the orientation program and setting me and one other nurse up as preceptors. About time, is what I say. We've been dropping the ball with our new staff and then paying for it later when they don't stay. This is going to be a great way to make a difference. I am looking forward to this!Sadie will like it, too, since it makes for shorter work days for me.

Goldie--I did have a long talk with the newbie I was with about productivity expectations--this is info she had never been given! We did talk about speaking up when the assignments were nuts geographically. It's a start. I cannot imagine how you fell about your Mom being sent home without adequate support at home. The system is just so screwed up. You've done all you can.

Your concerns are well expressed in your letter. The only thing left to your family is to refuse to take her home because you know she won't be safe. The nursing home will just send her home by ambulance, but at least they will have to carry some of the blame if she falls and gets hurt or something else happens and she gets hurt. FYI--when the family refuses to take a family member home it is automatically referred to Adult Protective, but that's a good thing cuz it gets it put on record that the family has concerns and the nursing home has not addressed the concerns adequately. Sometimes it triggers enrollment in other support services that can make a difference. I can tell you it is not the doctor or the Physician Assistant that is pushing the discharge. Your Mom has probably run out of skilled care days and the nursing home won't be paid for any further days of care unless she transitions to Long Term Care, and it sounds like she doesn't qualify. So the nursing home wants her out. Youmight want to find out if the state has an Ombudsman program for the elderly, people who work for the state that you can contact for help with issue with elder care like this. Unfortunately, you are probably stuck with her being sent home until she fails at home again, then the cycle will start over.

Chi--I've noticed some similar things. If I put 2 spaces after a period the BCO software eliminates both when I copy and paste into the post! Great review of the movie scene!

NM's DOTD:

Ultimate Mudslide

Ingredients

30 ml Vodka
30 ml Coffee Liqueur
30 ml Irish Cream
3 cubes Ice
Banana
(grated) Chocolate
60 ml Cream
60 ml Milk

Directions

Place all ingredients, except grated chocolate, in a blender and blend until smooth. Pour into glass and sprinkle with grated chocolate.

Best served in a Margarita Glass.

goldie0827 · February 2018

NM, glad things are improving at hospice. Perhaps it was you that got that ball rolling?

We have called everybody possible. Ombudsman as well. And you are exactly right, she ran out of skilled nursing time and can't get any more for 60 days, and that's only after 3 days in the hospital. They just aren't budging. Her February stay is being dismissed on hardship, as she wasn't covered for Feb. AND, if they do keep her, she will owe for a few days in Jan, all of February and they will take her SS check for March, but she still owes the other. SHE DOESN'T HAVE IT. She gets a little over $800 a month. I think it all comes down to money. Ombudsman told my brother that ALL the nursing homes in MI were horrible and if she can stay in her home, she's better off. The bank owns her home, did a reverse mortgage many years ago and never paid back any and the money she got she put into the house! Also we were told if she did qualify for a stay and in a year or less showed improvement, the would release her. Well where the fluck is she supposed to go then??? Cuz now her house is gone.

THEN, my brother was supposed to meet with my younger brother on Sunday to take Zues. Well he calls Sunday morning and cancels. So now we still have the dog, she's coming home today. I'm so pissed at him for putting us in this predicament. Zues was suppose to be gone before she came home, well that's not happening now. So when we do get him figured out, it's going to hurt her even more to let go of him, as opposed to him being gone when she arrived.

Spent most of the day on the phone and crying. Today I have to take DH for MRI, he is still having pain and trouble walking. Thursday I leave for MI.

This place is becoming a ghost bar!

mistyeyes · February 2018

Goldie- So sorry that you are dealing with all of this with your mom and your DH not well either. Sometimes there is nothing more to do but cry. I don't know what I would do in your situation, I would probably do a lot of crying (and yelling) too. Hope everything comes together and goes a bit smoother for you.

illimae · February 2018

Shit Goldie, I’m sorry you have to deal with so much and that you’re not getting proper support from other family members. I hope some of these things start to workout in your favor.

Jazzy, please have lots of fun living it up and doing what you love. I think it’s fair to say that we would all love it if you checked in on occasion.

NativeMainer · February 2018

Good Morning, Loungettes! Happy Hump Day! Boy was this girl happy to have a sleep in ayem. Wound up doing what was essentially and after hours admission with the newbie, didn't get done work until after 7 peeyem, didn't get home till after 8. Not happy about the situation, and made my displeasure very well known. Ongoing meetings with management set up by some others about the orientation issue and this kind of thing. It will be very interesting to see how this plays out.Sadie was not happy about me getting home so late last night and made no bones about it. I got the cold shoulder until bedtime, and then the only reason she cuddled was because the bedroom was pretty chilly, I'm pretty sure! ButI did get some kisses and tail wags before we fell asleep. She did roust me out of bed just before 8 ayem, which was a good thing cuz I started getting work related phone calls at 8:30.I'm keeping track of the time spent on the phonefor work today, will put it on my time sheet if it gets to be more than 30 minutes total time.

Goldie--I hope I helped get the ball rolling to make things better at work at least. I so wish there was something I could do to help you with your Mom's situation, but the sad truth is that this is how it is. Everything revolves around money. What ultimately happens, and I've seen this over and over again, is that the elder calls 911, lands in the hospital, isn't safe to go home so hospital arranges transfer to a rehab facility. Rehab takes care of elder until the covered days run out. Elder is sent home despite not having adequate help at home. Elder calls 911 for whatever reason and the cycle starts again. The cycle continues until the Elder declines enough to qualify for Long Term Care (Nursing Home Care) placement and a bed is found. Until the entire health care system for our elders is changed there is very little any familycan do to get around this unless they have the money to pay for in home or facility care privately. It is really unfortunate that your younger brother didn't come through with taking Zues. That is going to be even harder down the road. You really are doing all that can realistically be done for your Mom. She has to accept some of the responsibility herself, and is still making her own decisions and the family may have to accept that she is making bad decisions and choices regarding her health and day to day living. You and your family cannot take on the responsibility for her choices. I pray DH's MRI results are favorable for full recovery. Hugs.

Misty--good words for Goldie.

Illi--I'm j\sure Jazzy will poop in from time to time. At least I hope so!

NMs DOTD:

Classic Mojito

Ingredients

1 oz Light Rum
3 tbsp Lemon Juice
2 tsp Sugar
3 oz Mint
oz Club Soda

Directions

In a tall thin glass, muddle the mint and the sugar. Add lemon juice and stir thoroughly. Top with ice. Add rum and mix. Top off with *chilled* club soda (or seltzer). Add a lemon slice and the remaining mint, and serve.

Best served in a Parfait Glass.

mistyeyes · February 2018

I love Mojito's

goldie0827 · February 2018

Misty, believe me, I have done plenty of crying.

NM, along with calling 911 and going to the hospital, they can't be readmitted to rehab unless they have been home for 60 days. I'm sorry you had a tough day at work. Thank goodness it's not every day now and Sadie will get over it too, if she hasn't already.

DH has enlarged right kidney and a pinched nerve somewhere. They will schedule for therapy and US for the kidney. We were out yesterday from 9am -6pm. I leave very early in the morning, so may not be here for a day or so. Mom has dr. appt. today, going to have her checked for UTI, which they didn't do over the last 2 months, and we have read that that could be the cause of her memory loss!!

I love Mojitos too, will have a few in MI no doubt!

ChEeRZ!

ChiSandy · March 2018

Hmmm...thought Mojitos were made with lime juice. In rehab after my second knee replacement, they had "Faux-jito Fridays:" made with Sprite, mint leaves and a lime wedge.

Lori, you just can't catch a break, what with your mom's & DH's health crises as well as trying to find someone to take care of poor Zues. Hugs.

camillegal · March 2018

Hi Ladies, I'm sorry I didn't catch up yet, but wanted to say hello and whatever is happening I always say my prayers for all of you. Ur all so wonderful and we've been together for a long time, so I think we ll get it.

Oh shit another infection for Leslie and she had to tell them what it was, now I'm getting pissed. I forget she's studied rashes and skin diseases and infections. well now she has cellulitis and it's covering a lot right under her foob. So more stronger meds and I guess it's hurting her a lot. so more waiting and she's back to not moving right now. And in pain. Marty just went back to work, he was off for 2 weeks, jeez can't get a break right now.

I'm glad Im working right now keeps me buy, but of course I'm to buy and way to exhausted to do anything else. so that helps with the thinking part of all this crap. Oh well this toshall pass. I'll check in later and I hope and pray everyone is doing all right.

LUBS U ALL

how about drinking?

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