I was refused a mammogram. What now?

Background: I am 33, and I am definitely not pregnant. I have two kids and breastfed for a total of seven years. Due to this, I like to think I know my breasts pretty well. My youngest is six and he weaned three years ago.

No significant family history aside from a grandmother who had lymphoma of the breast in her 80s.

I'd never had any issues with my breasts until about two years ago. It started with swelling and pain that came and went with my cycles and I thought very little of it.

Then, I developed bilateral palpable cysts that didn't change with my cycle. They hurt all the time to the point where I need constant compression. It hurts to shower because it requires me to remove my bra.

Then, my right breast randomly started producing colostrum again and grew a cup size. This was about...8 months ago?

I'm a busy nurse who seldom is able to take time off from work. Plus, my partner is dealing with metastatic thyroid cancer (3rd recurrence) so I ignored all of my stuff to get him through his.

The pain got worse. I cut out caffeine completely and took primrose.

About two months ago, my partner (fresh out from surgery) discovered a nodule almost completely under my right nipple. It's hard. It's fixed. It's oblong, but about the diameter of a large English pea.

At the same time, I developed two weird red flaky patches on the top (cleavage area) of my left breast.

So, I went to my midwife and showed her, and told her everything. She took a look and found enlarged axillary lymph nodes on both sides, and she was particularly concerned with the hard lump under my nipple.

She told me to not wait, and that she wanted me to have a diagnostic mammogram followed by an ultrasound. She also ordered blood work. That was a month ago. Like I said, it's really hard for me to get time off from work. The requisition says, "Suspected malignant neoplasm of right breast. Suspicious findings right and left breasts."

When I called to schedule with my local breast center, the receptionist had a really awful attitude. I read to her the requisition and she said, "Well, we don't do it that way. Due to your age, you get the ultrasound first and the radiologist will decide if you need a mammogram."

Whatever, I made the appointment and jumped through hoops at work to get coverage for today.

The appointment was at 1000, I arrived at 0915 so I could get the blood work done first.

The receptionist was nice this time but seemed confused because it was scheduled for ultrasound first and screening mammogram second, even though my orders said diagnostic mammogram and then ultrasound if indicated. It was also in her computer to only check my right nipple area and not both sides.

I explained to her that I had some weird stuff going on bilaterally and asked that she call my midwife's office for clarification. She said she would.

I was called back to undress. A tech came in, asked me to show her the lump (I did. She felt it and nodded as if to acknowledge its presence) and then she ultrasounded my right nipple for about two minutes before getting up and saying she needed to speak with the doctor.

After about five minutes, she came back in and said I could get dressed. She said I have dense breast tissue and that she can't see through it on the ultrasound. Then she said the doctor didn't think I needed a mammogram because of my age. Then, she said it felt like it could be a normal dense breast tissue lump.

I asked about the other cysts. She said, "have you tried primrose?" I asked her to check. She told me she didn't have orders to check anywhere else. I told her about my conversation with the receptionist and asked her to check to see if they'd received clarification. She said that I had a very low risk of cancer because of my age.

"Because of your age" is something I feel like I'm hearing a lot of...

I told her that I have pain, and even if it's not likely to be cancer, I would elect to have the cysts drained because of the discomfort they're causing (Again, I breastfed for SEVEN YEARS- it takes A LOT for me to say that my boobs hurt!) and that I wanted them looked at.

She said if my provider wanted, I could get scheduled for an MRI at a later time, but, "everyone has dense lumpy breasts at your age".

And then she left the room. I mean, she was nice about it, I was nice about it...but I burst into tears as soon as I got to my car. I didn't know what to do. It FEELS wrong. It feels like they're dismissing me solely on age.

I was not asked about my symptoms. I was not asked to point out other things. I did not speak with a radiologist. No one examined me even though I was ASKNG them to.

So, I had nothing to do (I was in there for a total of 20 minutes) and decided to go talk to my midwife. I drove there and explained to the office manager what had happened. Everyone in the office was pissed. They did resend the clarified requisition as soon as they received the request.They asked if I could reschedule it. I can't. Not for another month.

They made me an appointment for April 20th for a manual re-check and said they'd call me with the blood results and ultrasound report. Said they were so sorry and they'd call me if they needed to see me sooner.

That was that. I came home.

Can someone tell me if I should feel relieved by any of this or really, really, pissed off? I'm leaning towards the latter and would really like to understand WTF just happened.

Thanks for reading.