disappointed
Hi ladies,
I am having a hard time. I had my exchange from tissue expanders to implants last Thursday. I am a petite person 5' and about 108 lbs. I have always been a size A to maybe a very small B. When I had my bilateral Mx I decided that I would try and go a little bigger. I figured I might as well get something out of all of this! At my last expansion the PS had to remove some of the fluid he put in as he said my skin wasn't looking good after he put in the fluid.I was about the same size as I was before my MX. I then had to switch PS's because he left the hospital. I met with the new plastic surgeon twice before my surgery. Right before my surgery she asked if I was ok with my size. I said I was but if she could a little bigger I would not complain. Well when I woke she said she could not use the bigger size as it did not work. I was pretty out of it yet as she told me this in the recovery room right after waking up. Well when I got home that day and looked my breasts are not even as big as they were with the tissue expanders. I'm thinking the implants sit differently so they do not protrude out as much. I have the round silicone ones in. I just wanted to cry and did. I've been so depressed about this and know I should really just be so thankful that I'm cancer free, healthy and ALIVE!. I have been like a rock during this whole thing and everyone has complimented me on being such a strong person during this and now this is what is causing me to have a meltdown. Hubby is not being real supportive of my disappointment and just rolls his eyes at me. I wasn't hoping for dolly parton boobs but I so wanted at least a good B or C cup. Just had to vent thanks or listening.
Comments
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I'm so sorry your unhappy ...it's common for tissue expander s to be bigger than the implant. I can only imagine the issues were with the skin may it was stretched to its max and that's why you ou!dnt go any bigger? Maybe you can see a different PS for another opinion.
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kmb4:
After all you've been through, don't apologize for wanting to be larger and thinking this was one "positive" aspect of this journey. I am about your size (very petite) and I wanted to be a little larger. I was smaller than you previously (AA cup), so I got larger, but skin integrity did come into play at some point. For how large I could go.
Perhaps you could talk to another PS. It cannot hurt to get another opinion. There are some on the boards who have gotten larger implants during a "revision" surgery.
However, it took about 3 months before my implants settled and when I started to like them. So you may want to give it a little time.
Go to the Exchange forum and post there. See what others have to say. I do know from reading that TEs have much more projection than implants. We lose that but gain comfort from the damn TEs!
Good luck and come here to vent. We get it.
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thanks ladies for the response. I saw my plastic surgeon today. when she asked if I was happy with the results I did express my feelings. I'm glad I held my emotions in check and didn't start crying again. Although it's getting better in that area too. She explained that my chest wall was not wide enough to go any bigger. Like I said I'm a pretty petite person to begin with. She said I would have ended up with a side boob or a uniboob which neither would have been good. I guess that makes me feel a little better that I could not have gone bigger no matter what. Thanks again for listening
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My PS said the same thing -- and I totally didn't want side boob after having it (for the first time ever) with the TEs.
Glad the appt helped. This is a tough journey sometimes.
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kmb4 - I had a really hard time adjusting to my implants after surgery. It does seem like things should be "done" after that surgery and that we should all be able to be happy and relax somewhat. Give it time. I know it's hard right now, but things will get better over time.
I have fat necrosis under one nipple and one implant has rotated sideways. I have a dent above one and rippling on both. I have areas that are still numb and some that are uncomfortable at times. I still (after 9 months) sometimes having pulling or burning sensations. But probably the combination of forgetting what I was like before and becoming more used to what I'm like now plus a desire to avoid further surgery (at least for a while) leaves me mostly okay with how things are.
I hope you're soon feeling better about it all!
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