Anyone experienced hostility from loved ones?

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Ckat
Ckat Member Posts: 19
edited February 2018 in Share Your Experiences Of Life After A Breast Cancer Diagnosis

Hi all,

I've just finished chemo and waiting to start rads, so still very much in the middle of treatment. Since I was first diagnosed, I've noticed some strange behavior from people in my life. A few seemed unable/unwilling to deal and backed off or disappeared. But there have been a couple people who seemed to have become outright aggressive following seemingly minor issues. One was a family member and the other a friend. Both of these people have some mental health issues of their own, but I was floored at the hostile and callous nature of the reaction. It feels like my being in a weak state brought it on in a way. Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing? I'm in therapy and my therapist says it isn't uncommon.

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  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited February 2018

    My brother, who is mentally ill, sent me a group email that apparently was quite ugly. My DH intercepted that email for me so I never found out. A buffer is a good thing right now. In times of stress I refuse to listen to the news or pick up a paper.

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  • jo6359
    jo6359 Member Posts: 2,279
    edited February 2018

    the support from others has been wonderful. Only one friend who has her own mental health issues informed me I would be better off dead and forego all treatment options. When you consider. she was the 3rd person I had told about my recent bc dx , I was floored. I had early stage bc with a very good prognosis. But I put it aside and realized she was coming from a very dark place. I gently pointed it out to her that her comments were insensitive and hurtful . She did not apologize and that was okay. After that I just avoided her.

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  • Misstic
    Misstic Member Posts: 115
    edited February 2018

    I noticed some people (not specially with mental illness) are in trouble with the idea of death. These people just cannot handle adequately a relationship with people like us. They get bizarre behaviors or talks. I think this their fear which speaks more than their love.

    I have a friend who suffer schizophrenia, which is the most severe mental illness, and he is really nice to me.

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  • Luckynumber47
    Luckynumber47 Member Posts: 397
    edited February 2018

    I think sometimes people sense when you're vulnerable and go for the kill. My daughter blew out her knee playing sports in high school. She had surgery and a month on crutches. Her best friend completely turned on her. The bullying was so bad we had to transfer my daughter into a private school for part of the year. But then another friend really rose to the occasion and became a real Florence Nightingale. I guess you never know what's in people's hearts

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