armchair oncologists argh!

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indahood
indahood Member Posts: 152
edited February 2018 in Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After

Anyone else having issues with "know it all, documentary watching, armchair oncologists" that feel a need to inform you that chemo doesn't work? I have and have figured out to tell them, ok, wow those sound like bad numbers, your right about that. Comeback when the gamble is with your life and not just hypothetical and we'll have a longer chat then. It worked.

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  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited January 2018

    Indahood, people say the craziest things to women with breast cancer! That's why so many of us kept our "circle of trust" small and only told people who really needed to know. Sometimes it's just their anxiety I guess, but geez.

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  • Outfield
    Outfield Member Posts: 1,109
    edited January 2018

    Oh boy yes. I am 7 years out of treatment, but still remember some interactions like that. I never had the energy to give someone that kind of come-back. I would just tune out and then avoid them.


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  • indahood
    indahood Member Posts: 152
    edited January 2018

    I think it's more common these days because of the " 'Truth' about cancer" documentary that makes chemo an evil plot thought up by villainous pharma companies. I'm very open about my cancer and like it that way but boy gotta be good at putting people in their place when they need it. Sometimes when I'm feeling really cheeky I string them along for a good while so they get really into it before I brush them off.

    I didn't even watch the documentary, I knew it would stress me to the max. I did watch one about the history of cancer and treatment called Cancer, the emperor of all maladies. It was excellent and very informative about the way standard treatment evolved. So if anyone is interested, you can always send them there.

    Thanks for listening

    Laurie indahood

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  • Denise-G
    Denise-G Member Posts: 1,777
    edited January 2018

    indahood - OH I LOVE IT! I am 6 years out, but boy would I have liked to have that comeback! GOOD JOB!

    Because so many people say so many strange, weird and awful things to breast cancer patients, having comeback lines

    really helps!

    I did have one woman say to me - "Oh well, what's the big deal about a Mastectomy? Breasts just kind of hang there."

    I did respond that she ought to have hers cut off then.

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited January 2018

    oh yeah. Just last week at my dog park. A woman there has a friend staying with her during her tx. She thought she’d need to get up every hour to check on friend during chemo! And some other out there statements I tried to explain. Then she screeched at me HAVE YOU EVER HAD CANCER???? And started to put down Moffit

    I told her to go away.

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  • indahood
    indahood Member Posts: 152
    edited January 2018

    Spookiesmom, Just goes to show you, one just never knows what is going on in a person's life.


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  • Leatherette
    Leatherette Member Posts: 448
    edited February 2018

    I’d say, “oh, you’re right, I know it doesn’t work, I’m just doing it for fun (or sympathy, or because I’m a sheep being herded through the medical industrial complex),”

    Yeesh.

    I am lucky to have had no one say anything like that to me.



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  • runor
    runor Member Posts: 1,798
    edited February 2018

    I LOVE those people who know that no chemo and a positive attitude is all it takes to cure you! Gosh, what the heck is wrong with me that I didn't know that? Also love the health food cure people, drink lime juice in everything, it will save you! But lime juice ruins my coffee so - no.

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited February 2018

    I just wish we had better treatment period and a way to know we are cured.

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  • Gumdoctor
    Gumdoctor Member Posts: 675
    edited February 2018

    i have NOT had this conversation with anyone. Good for you for standing up for yourself .

    I have had some terribly insensitive things said to me, certainly by people who have had no exposure to breast cancer. But even medical professionals and even oncology people have said some unconscionable things to me, even yelling at me.

    It can be appalling and the cancer epidemic should be a call to action for medical professionals to get their act together.

    V

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