Scared and Afraid
I'm sorry if I posted before but I'm freaking out.
I was diagnosed this week with IDC. The tumor is 9mm and is located in my left breast. That is all I know right now. I have an appointment on Tuesday with a surgeon.
I'm scared to death and I'm feeling that the people are telling me are being dismissive.
I feel it is a death sentence, I feel alone, I feel scared of what I'm going to be told at the surgeons office, I'm afraid of recovery and treatment and how it will affect my life.
Sorry, so many thoughts
Comments
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Kati, poor dear, you have posted about your anxiety on other threads and have had replies. I agree you are freaking out. Pick up the phone, call the doc who is covering for your doc, and get some anxiety meds called into your pharmacy for pick-up TODAY! It is a long time till Tuesday, you need some calming before that upcoming scary appointment
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I agree with Chronicpain - you need to get something for your anxiety. Waiting is always the worst part.
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kati, I'm sorry you had to join us, but know that you will receive a lot of support here. You are NOT alone. I agree, anxiety meds will help. If you can, get a trusted person to go with you on your up-coming appt. Try to stay busy while you wait. You can do this! ((HUGS))
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I just went through the same thing a few months ago. I was diagnosed in November, and it completely shocked and scared the hell out of me. So, as someone who has just been through this, I can offer a few tips.
The next few weeks will be a whirlwind of appointments and tests. If at all possible, bring someone with you for the appointments. Not only is it comforting, but it's helpful to have someone else to absorb the information. You get so much information thrown at you in such a small amount of time, it can be overwhelming. Another person may also help you think of questions to ask your doctors.
Speaking of questions, don't feel bad if you can't think of what to ask. If you do think of questions, write them down and bring them along with you to your next appointment.
For a while, you're probably going to start to wonder if there will ever be a point when you're not scared all the time. Certainly, everyone is different, but for me, that point came when I had a treatment plan in place. For me, it was all the uncertainty at the beginning that was scariest. Once I got through the initial tests and had a path forward, I felt so much better, even knowing that path forward wasn't going to be a picnic and could change.
I hope this helps!
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Kati i felt the same as you last march. did get some Ativan which really helped. my mother died of lung cancer at 62 and my sil died of bc at age 53ish. So i figured it was a death sentence too. i ended up having two idc with a spec of dcis. one node positive and according to my MO and RO a good prognosis at about just over 90% of survival for the next 15 years. if your idc is 9mm that is small which is good. sounds like you have caught it early; however i know you have to have final pathology. Just know we have come a long way with BC treatment and there are many options. It will get better with a plan. i was freaking out until I saw my BS and then became calmer; however still nervous but it does get better, promise
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Kati- I went through everything that you're experiencing now in December when I received my diagnosis. It is scary as hell. You keep seeking reassurance that everything's going to be okay. Believe it or not, you do calm down. It's tough. The worst part is the uncertainty. Once you have a treatment plan in place you will feel better. This Thread offers so much support and information. You came to the right place. Once again I was where you were at 6 weeks ago and I was totally freaking out. I did take Xanax for approximately one week. It was a very small dosage but it did help me through that first week. I was not accustomed to taking medication for anything. It did help.
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