How do you choose? Bilateral mastectomy with one healthy breast

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Draftbaby68
Draftbaby68 Member Posts: 3
edited February 2018 in Breast Reconstruction

I’m recently diagnosed with IDC in my left breast. I have 5 malignant lumps all stage 1 and no lymph node involvement. My right breast is healthy but I’m leaning towards a bilateral mastectomy for cosmetic reasons only. My family thinks I should save the healthy breast. My breast are a huge part of my sex life and are very sensitive but I want the best symmetry results after surgery. Would love some opinions on this topic.

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  • EastcoastTS
    EastcoastTS Member Posts: 864
    edited January 2018

    Well..first thing. YOU must live with the choice. And it's your body. So -- maybe listen to the family comments but in the end, somewhat a lonely road, make the final decision. (i.e. if you want BMX for whatever reason...that's the call)

    My experience in brief only. And why I chose BMX.

    From a cosmetic standpoint only, the 3 PSs I talked to did not want me to do lumpectomy or UMX. I was very small (AA cup) and matching one natural side to implant side would have been very challenging. And lump would have left me with a very altered breast, to their thinking.

    From a peace-of-mind standpoint, Mammo did not catch my tumor when I was pointing it out to the radiologist. So -- I could not leave myself to future mammos (or begging for MRIs) with such dense breast tissue. ILC also is said, by some MOs but not all, to perhaps have more chance of traveling to other breast.

    I do have numbness and loss of sensation. However, I'm glad I chose BMX. I did nipple/skin sparing and my implants (Sept Exchange) are starting to look good. (to me) Incisions in IMF fold area. Again, I'm really petite and stayed small, so the PSs I talked to, who could care less about anything but cosmetic issues, were on the BMX train, too. But BMX is more surgery -- more risk, etc. Just a thought to consider. I really considered all of those factors (I was at one time considering UMX, too).

    I'm sure you'll have many experiences shared here. Good luck!

  • Lula73
    Lula73 Member Posts: 1,824
    edited January 2018

    First piece of advice-go with the surgical option that leaves you with a feeling of peace no matter if it's UMX vs BMX or what type of recon (or not) to go with. At the end of the day no one else has to live in your skin but you and that's a 24/7/365 undertaking.

    My story is a little more implement in that I had cancer and radiation treatment as a child, so there was a greater risk of breast cancer for me anyway. They found calcification they wanted to do a lumpectomy on after biopsy just showed them to be calcifications. Radiologist trumped the BS and insisted on MRI first. MRI found IDC in the other breast - no lumps, not on mammo, nothing. My options were UMX on one side with lumpectomy on the other or BMX. I chose BMX as my risk was higher and already had something going on. Without those factors I believe I still would've chosen BMX as the every 6 months monitoring of the remaining breast would've been worrying and anxiety laden from that point on. I also wanted my breasts to feel the same when my DH touched them, not one responsive and the other not. Then there's the recon to try and get symmetry. BMX it was (i was able to do skin & nipple sparing) and I went with immediate DIEP flap reconstruction using my own tissue - so no implants, no capsular contracture risk, no tissue expanders or weekly fills or exchange. Just soft, warm breasts that move and look like the originals did. I went into the BMX with breast and came back out with breasts (just different stuffing).My breast were sensitive before and I have feeling over the vast majority of both breasts now, but no nipple sensation - they still respond nicely to my DH and cold though! Based on my experience I would go this same route again in a heartbeat.

    I hope my story helps! Feel free to ask any questions about my decisions, the BMX and the natural tissue recon.

  • NotVeryBrave
    NotVeryBrave Member Posts: 1,287
    edited January 2018

    Yes - big choice and no one can make it for you. It's super hard to know what you'll be happy with from the side you're on.

    For me - BMX meant better symmetry, no radiation, and no following stuff in the other breast. I gave up normal sensation and miss it during sex, but I do think it would be kind of weird to feel differently from side to side.

    I'm curious about why your family cares what you do?


  • OCDAmy
    OCDAmy Member Posts: 873
    edited January 2018

    I agree with all above, it is your decision to make. I went back and forth, and I did ask some of my female friends what they would do in the same situation and then realized, you really can't know what to do unless you are facing it. I chose to have bilateral mastectomy for several reasons. Most importantly, I have very dense breasts and mammogram didn't pick up my fairly large tumor 6 months earlier. I felt that I would never trust a mammogram again. Second, I know me and I am a worrier. I just decided I didn't want to be going through all that scanxiety on the other breast. And finally, I wanted to have good symmetry. My PS and I discussed the options and we ended up doing a nipple sparing on the non-cancer breast. I don't have feeling there but it honestly looks fine otherwise (or I hope it does once I get my exchange surgery). I plan to get a tattoo on the other side.

    Best of luck with your decision. It was a really hard one for me.

  • Jackster51
    Jackster51 Member Posts: 357
    edited January 2018

    Tough choice for sure! I had the same choice.... I ended up going with a double purely for cosmetic reasons int hat I was so small they would have to augment the good breast anyway, so I had both removed. While I look pretty good cosmetically, I will say, I miss having nipple sensation a lot :-(

  • BringOn2017
    BringOn2017 Member Posts: 101
    edited January 2018

    Hi Draftbaby. Always a dilemma on what to do but as Eastcoast said you really need to be at peace with the decision yourself. I had DCIS in my right breast which was diagnosed quite incidentally after I did an Ultrasound and mammogram for what I was convinced was a left breast cyst. Well turned out I was right and my left breast lump was a benign cyst, but I had bilaterally dense breasts (which doesn't make for good interpretation) and the right mammo showed up microcalcifications over a third of the breast and an mammo-guided biopsy showed the DCIS as well as atypia. My MRI showed bilateral global enhancement which radiologically is possibly a precursor for malignancy, and I have a positive Family history. All in all, this put me in a higher risk group for invasive tumour in the future, with radiology not being likely to help in my monitoring due to the MR findings and fibrocystic disease.

    So conclusion after reading current guidelines and medical papers, discussing with my radiologists, breast surgeon etc, I opted for bilateral - why? I needed a right sided anyway for the DCIS since there was extensive microcalcification - also I preferred mastectomy rather than lumpectomy and radiation anyway even if there had been a discrete lump, as preferred more surgery and no radiotherapy. With regards to symmetry, I felt for me the results would be better with bilateral reconstruction as matching would have meant breast reduction and uplifting on the other side. And I felt removing both gave me more peace of mind. I couldn't live with the regular monitoring to see if something was happening on the other side even if monitoring was an option - which it wasn't really according to my radiologists. So yes peace of mind and symmetry won. 

    How do I feel now? At peace. I've done what I can. I am happy with the results. I've just completed my exchange 3 weeks ago and am gradually recovering. I still think it was the right decision. I'm happy with my new twins which are slowly starting to sink into position! I had regained virtually all sensation over the skin a few months after my initial surgery in February only to lose it again with the second op 3 weeks ago! Now patiently hoping that it will come again as it did last time!

    Take care and may you find peace in your decision. I think the weeks leading to the surgery and taking the "final" decision were hard. It meant (for me at least) many sleepless nights reading medical guidelines, papers etc. At the end of the day, as Eastcoast told you, the only person you need to satisfy is yourself, since you alone live with the decision 24/7, and the consequences of the decision. Feel free to pm if you need a sounding board or want to rant! 

  • VegGal
    VegGal Member Posts: 507
    edited January 2018

    I went with BMX for 6 mm of DCIS, for most of the reasons you've already read. I had a nip sparing BMX, and find, to my delight, that there is quite a bit of sensation on the medial and upper surfaces of my reconstructed breasts. It's not exactly the same as before, but is VERY, VERY good.

  • EastcoastTS
    EastcoastTS Member Posts: 864
    edited January 2018

    I should add that I also wanted to avoid radiation IF possible. BMX may allow for this if clear margins are achieved and no muscle involvement, I think it was. (But there is always the possibility of radiation even with BMX.)

  • BringOn2017
    BringOn2017 Member Posts: 101
    edited January 2018

    Eastcoast is right. I only managed to avoid rads as the final histology remained DCIS. Until we had that result, my surgeon had bern clear that I.might need rads if there was invasive and it was the reason he advised TE rather than silicone implants straight away.

  • Draftbaby68
    Draftbaby68 Member Posts: 3
    edited January 2018

    thanks so much for your input... my mammogram also missed the lumps after I pointed them out. I feel very anxious. Not sure why my father would give me a “man’s perspective “. He told me yesterday that as a man he would prefer one healthy breast... wtf right? I love him to death and I’m sure a lot of women have been given idiotic advice/comments. Anyway I’m leaning towards the bilateral mastectomy. I welcome any personal experience

  • HollyDollyD
    HollyDollyD Member Posts: 77
    edited January 2018

    Hi Draftbaby,

    I chose a unilateral mastectomy. I realize that there will be some asymmetry when naked, but clothed I have been assured by the surgeon will not be noticeable. I made the decision, because the reduction in risk was only relevant for BRCA1/2 and other genes, and the risk of complications and quality of life issues was greater. Otherwise, there was not a huge difference (although there is some difference). Also, I would check with your surgeon. Does this mean that you will now have to have all blood pressure measurements, blood sticks, blood draws, etc. on your leg? Will you need a port if you are having chemo, because they will not be able to stick your arm? Will you need lymphedema sleeves for both arms if you fly? If you work out with weights? What is the risk of lymphedema v. the risk of cancer recurrence? Which risk are you comfortable living with?

    Finally, I decided that science marches forward and maybe in 5-10 years there will be other options with stem cells, etc.

    However, if I test positive for the genes, then I'll have the other breast done. But separately.

    Ultimately, everyone has to look at what she can live with. I think gathering information and asking lots of questions is a good idea - and so is listening to your gut.

    Hugs,

    Holly

  • Snickersmom
    Snickersmom Member Posts: 926
    edited January 2018

    I went with a BMX even though I only had tumor(s) in one breast. I was given the choice of UNI or BMX and I immediately chose BMX because I did not want to have to worry about the other breast. I do not regret that decision for one second. For me, it was absolutely the right thing to do. Do I still worry? Absolutely. Because my tumor was "only" 5mm, they don't do MRI, Oncotype, PET scan, etc. My MO and breast surgeon keep telling me I am cancer-free and I am trying very hard to believe them.

    I am not sure why your family would have any input as to what you do. It's such a personal decision and should be what's right for YOU, not what others tell you. As that old saying goes, "walk a mile in my shoes...". This has nothing to do with them, so they should keep their feelings, opinions, and advice to themselves.

    Go off by yourself, breathe, and pray. You will find your answer and you will do what's right for YOU.

  • OCDAmy
    OCDAmy Member Posts: 873
    edited January 2018

    HollyDolly, you only have to limit arm sticks and blood pressure if you had lymph nodes removed. If you have a prophylactic mastectomy you can still have blood draws, etc. on that arm.

  • Axolotl
    Axolotl Member Posts: 56
    edited January 2018

    Go with what will make you feel the most happy and whole.

    I had a unilateral mastectomy. My breasts were very sensitive and I knew right away that I wanted to keep my healthy breast. Being symmetrical was less important to me. 2 weeks post op, it looks like the right (reconstructed) breast will be a bit bigger and sits differently than the left. I'm OK with it so far; it's noticeable only when I'm naked. It's quite numb, but I'm still healing. I'm definitely happy with my decision to keep the healthy breast.

    What surprised me most was how different the implant feels compared to natural breast tissue. It feels hard and muscular.

    As for your father's comment...wow! WTF indeed.

  • NotVeryBrave
    NotVeryBrave Member Posts: 1,287
    edited January 2018

    I will say that the "man's perspective" thing is like most things - varied. There are probably some men that are only "into" the original equipment and others that are excited by the new (& fake) ones. And they most likely will also not know how they'll feel until they get there.

    My husband tells me that I look great. Maybe he just tells me that to make me feel good or to entice me into sex. Maybe he really does like the way my breasts look now. My nipples respond but have no sensation. Some of my skin has normal feeling. It's a weird dance of "should I touch or not" for him, I think.


  • Runrcrb
    Runrcrb Member Posts: 577
    edited January 2018

    Thought I'd chime in as I went with a single mastectomy. My breast surgeon was promoting bilateral as was the first plastic surgeon, both for risk reduction and symmetry. The second plastic surgeon pointed out that the risk was already low (and my tests confirmed) but my risk of surgical complication would double with a bilateral. I was going to need chemo and radiation regardless. Given the numbness and the feeling of having the tissue expander under my pectoral muscle (felt the muscle contract on top of my breast every time I used it) I am grateful that I decided on keeping the healthy breast. Just had my DIEP flap reconstruction last month; the symmetry isn't there yet but only I know right now. I anticipate a small lift for the healthy breast in the late spring.

    The decision is 100% yours. Learn everything you can about your specific cancer, your treatment plan and reconstruction options and then make the decision. You'll know it's the right one when you feel a sense of relief upon telling your surgeon (I did).

    Good luck

  • Sweet_Pea
    Sweet_Pea Member Posts: 178
    edited January 2018

    I'll chime in too with a different tune than Runrcrb. I had a single masectomy and now, awaiting my second surgery, there have been many moments when I've regretted my decisión. Why? Because, basically, of achieving and maintaining symmetry. I'm a person who goes up and down in weight, which my PS has told me is the worst thing possible for symmetry. I'm currently way UP in weight (about 35 pounds overweight, now more like 25), and we have decided I need to lose as much as can before my exchange+symmetry surgery on April 24. In fact, the only reason we're waiting is for me to try to lose the weight.

    It's hard for me to express just how much pressure this has put on me. I have some feeling with the TE in and feel I could have lived with that little sensation in both breasts and thus avoided the uncertainty about (near) symmetry in the future that my PS keeps warning me about because of my weight issues. :(

  • notthrilled
    notthrilled Member Posts: 28
    edited January 2018

    Axolotl, Its probably the pectorals over the silicone that are really making things feel hard. Hopefully it will soften up. I am 3 months post exchange and its just starting to not feel like I am wearing a brass bra or subcutaneous tupperware or that someone is groping me from behind.. Very uncomfortable and no one tells you to expect it. Physical therapy is helping though, for the muscles and the adhesions from the sutures etc. I could hardly lift my arms after the exchange.

    For me I was very comfortable with my decision to have BMX, but I had pervasive dcis on both sides and early invasive on one. I did not want to go through the water torture of lumpectomy after lumpectomy. No chance of skin sparing anything for me. No real feeling in the breasts now (though you can feel pain and discomfort every place a bra rides. WTF? I think its the pectorals and where they connect that are the worst). Losing both breasts is like losing the volume control on sex. And the estrogen blocker makes it worse. Everything is on mute. My husband is great. He calls them "the girls" but it still sucks. And don't think BMX will save you from wearing an uncomfortable bra. I am supposed to wear full support bras every day, and I wear them to bed too because its more uncomfortable without. So far every bra is uncomfortable (I've tried alot). Hopefully things will improve, but I am told by some that it is always going to be somewhat uncomfortable.

    Make your choice. Don't do it for someone else.

  • Mom-mom
    Mom-mom Member Posts: 44
    edited January 2018

    I chose UMX as breast/nipple sensation is a very important part of my sex life. I’m not reconstructed yet— still in a TE, so don’t know what symmetry I will have, but I’m happy to have all the sensation remaining in my native breast. My UMX breast has no sensation at all, even though it was nipple-sparing—there is no sensation in the nipple.

    This is a “what’s right for you” decision. And not an easy one.

    Hugs to you

  • Jadalulu
    Jadalulu Member Posts: 57
    edited January 2018

    I was diagnosed with DCIS initially in right breast, then found an additional invasive lesion in the same breast via MRI. Even before the discovery of the IDC I had pretty much made my decision to have a bilateral mastectomy if anything additional was found. I have extensive family history and just didn’t want to worry constantly about developing cancer in the healthy breast. I too was very large busted, 34 EE. Petite body but large breasts. I too was worried about the cosmetic outcome if I chose only to do a single MX. I feel it is a valid concern, and quite frankly it’s your decision not anyone else’s. I initially had a general surgeon when we thought it to Be only a lumpectomy was needed. When the second diagnosis came the only option was a mastectomy. I asked my first surgeon what his thought was on a bilateral mastectomy and his response was “why would you want that, your other breast is healthy?” Guess what my next move was, I met with with a new surgeon who specialized in breast cancer. She was fabulous and never once questioned my decision. Turned out to be a good decision as the pathology report on the “healthy” breast discovered several areas of atypical hyperplasia which is pre cancerous cells. My advise is to trust your gut and don’t worry about others think.

    Good luck with your decision.

    Jada

  • Jt3
    Jt3 Member Posts: 122
    edited January 2018

    We will support you in your decision either way. My decision was a hard one to make but once I got to it I felt a sense of calm about it even though I know that it isn’t the easiest recovery process. At first I thought I would do a lumpectomy when the biopsy found two small tumors. Then the MRI came back with more areas to biopsy on the left breast via MRI guided biopsy. Symmetry is a huge topic that comes up and the constant monitoring every 6 months as well. I also didn’t realize if I gained or lost weight that would affect symmetry as well. That is a good new piece of information I learned today. Only one of my nipples was fairly sensitive during sex so what I tell myself is there have to be other areas to explore. It’s not worth a recurrence later when I am older and not as strong or healthy. I will have to be on Tamoxifen and don’t know how that will affect me either. I am done having children at my age unfortunately that was a difficult road as it was for me. I was always and A or B cup until I got pregnant so I never got much attention up high anyways visually it was always my butt. I can decide what size to stop at up top with both later on. I like that idea as well and not being forced to match the current one since I think it’s too big anyway for my smaller frame. I am still tearful and fearful about it all but knowing I made a decision has helped and not doing radiation makes me happy as well. I am praying that they don’t find any more tumors. Seeing a total of 4 is scary.

  • PinkButterflyover50
    PinkButterflyover50 Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2018

    Hi

    I was unique in that I just had breast implants replaced for cosmetic reasons 2.5 yes ago. They found the suspicious pattern micro calcifications in R breast at my mammo visit in Nov. I got paperwork from I believe my insurance company stating I have very dense breast tissue. This told me that a mammogram may not find everything in the future. And the cells were ER+ PR+ The lumpectomy, radiation, then 5 yrs of the Tamoxifen were strongly recommended. I opted for NSM for both breasts. I didn't want radiation and the medication. They did not find any other cancerous tissue. I wouldn't have done anything differently. I could have done NSM on the one breast but I opted for both because of the dense breast tissue and personally I felt I would rather have both breasts reconstructed equally for best symmetry. And I did not want to go on the medication.

  • jo6359
    jo6359 Member Posts: 2,279
    edited February 2018

    I had the same concerns about removing a healthy breast. The BCO threads and feedback from so many women who went through similar experiences helped with my final decision. I had a BMX 5 days ago. I don't regret the decision. Each person must do what is right for them. For myself it did take a lot of soul-searching. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

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