Being "forced" to volunteer

None of us are required to do any particular kind of work related to our diagnoses! Many want to, and that's wonderful. It sounds like you want to get back to work, which is also great. I can't imagine spending more time at the hospital than I already do. Maybe someday, but for now that's not for me, or for you, from what you say here. And that's ok. Congratulations on turning the major corners necessary to see yourself back in the work part of your life. You have nothing to feel guilty about!

Hi Rumba,

I'd say, as my doctor says : you're best placed to know what is good for you ! And truely, this is what I believe. We all react differently to life (hence to dx too), and it's quite normal. If volunteering is the right thing to do for your acquaintance, fine for her. But this doesn't mean everyone should do the same, or help in the same way. You should in no way feel guilty.

If you feel going back to work is the right thing to do for you, than do so! By this I mean, if you really want to go back - not feel obliged too. Which was my error after my first occurence of cancer. I felt I had to go back as soon as possible. Not that I really feel I needed it for myself, but more as some form of duty. Cancer soon showed me, it wasn't what I needed ;-) .

I couldn't say better than : listen to yourself. Find what is right for you. ... and don't care about lecturers.

Big hugs to you

You don't need to justify your decisions to her. You get to choose, which is especially important since you just went through a significant experience that you didn't choose.

Ugh, rumba! What a guilt trip. I remember that the organizers of the local Relay for Life visited us in our chemo chairs, asking if we would buy lottery tickets! I bought a few, but felt a little weird about the experience.

Getting back to your job doesn't mean that you're turning your back on other cancer patients. There are any number of ways you can give back to the community. For example, I work at a local university, and can use my experiences to guide my research into health policy and treatment. I have also helped a colleague construct a survey of cancer survivors and their views on follow-up care.

((Hugs))

I echo the other's sentiments. I learned early on that one patient's breast cancer is not the same as another patient's breast cancer~ there are many variations. Do what feels right for you without guilt. As an aside, I asked to volunteer at my cancer center in the infusion clinic after the bulk of my treatment was over (other than hormonal therapy) and was politely declined since I was still an oncology patient there. I was slightly bummed, but with a few months perspective I find being in that environment would be the last place I would like to be!

Sound super pushy and it would be 100% appropriate for you to say no clearly and without guilt. Personally I won't be able to give back much because I have to get through treatment, go back to work and take care of my kids! Once my kids are a bit older then I will probably want to spend my time giving back. We all have emotions and we all have responsibilities. You will need to take care of yourself and your responsibilities first. Its a lot to ask a cancer patient to give back so soon if you ask me.

For me, I find the expectations that our society seems to have around cancer, and breast cancer in particular, to be rather appalling. When you have gone through cancer, people EXPECT you to give more time and money than average. I some how ended up on the fundraising list for the new cancer treatment facility being built. Don't know how they got my name except from some listing that I had been recently diagnosed. Do these people really think that someone at this stage, anxious about treatments and how they will pay for them, should even be asked? I donate a buck here and there throughout the year. I help and support my friends and acquaintances with cancer. It adds up.

I am a migraine sufferer. That has a much greater effect on my daily living, year after year. You don't see/hear people trying to GUILT you into volunteering or giving for migraine research.

l no longer let people "should" on me.

Go back to work. I'm a teacher, worked through chemo, and radiation happened in the summer. I finished on a Thursday & school started Monday, with me at my desk ready to jump back in with both feet. I loved my job and I didn't want cancer to be my REAL LIFE. It's great if someone wants to give back by volunteering; and I volunteer for some things, but not 'cancer stuff' as it is always going to be too close. The one thing I will do; if a friend or acquaintance is diagnosed, I refer them to BCO and will check in on them, answer questions etc. if they want me too. Everyone handles it differently, and how each person handles it needs to be respected by others. I would drop a 'friend' who doesn't understand that.