Not sure what to say..
Hi everyone,
I’m 31. I have two kids, 5 and 2 years old. I came here a few months ago... worrying. And now I’m back...
This is a shock. I keep thinking someone is going to tell me it isn’t real. I still don’t have all the results yet as the Christmas break put a halt on that.
But chemo will start this month. After that a mastectomy. Radiation. Then tablets. I’m waiting on the results of a FISH test to find out if I am also HER2+
So... that’s my story. And I just basically haven’t a clue what’s going on!
Comments
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((Hugs))
It IS a shock to hear that you have cancer. I'm sorry that you have joined us. Details of your cancer will come soon enough; now you need to focus on what you can control rather than what you can't. What chemo regimen will you be doing? Most chemo for breast cancer means the loss of hair. Are you a wig person, or will you wear other head coverings? I had my wig all set ahead of time before chemo so I wouldn't have to worry about that later.
How is your support network? Do you have friends/relatives nearby who can help you with the kids or perform other tasks? One of my friends set up a "Lots-a-Helping Hands" page for me so that colleagues and friends could sign up to help.
How are you holding up? Are you having bouts of anxiety, depression, or insomnia? If so, there is nothing wrong with seeking counselling or meds to help you through such a tough time.
((Hugs))
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So sorry that you're here but glad you found this site for support and encouragement. And understanding. We get it, unfortunately.
Please know that this journey does get easier once you have a full plan in place. You are in the toughest time right now. Try to take a deep yoga breath when you feel it's getting to you. And ask your dr for anxiety meds if you need them.
Ask all you need to here. You are not alone.
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Hi Elaine ...thank you for replying. My family live far but have been great so far. Someone sent me a link about wigs and advised I get it sorted beforehand too. I wasn't sure really what I would do, maybe it's less scary for my kids if I wear a wig. I'm not fully sure about the chemo yet. They said it will depend on the HER 2+, but they said it will be once a week every three weeks and will go on for about 5/6 months. Also because ER+ that this part could be for a year? I'm a little foggy on the details as I was in total shock. I only rang today to find out what the wording of it was. It's just crazy!
Sometimes the anxiety hits and the insomnia has been there since the initial worries really.... not sure what to say to the doctor about that though.
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Hmm.... You might be doing Taxotere + Carboplatin, and they'll throw in Herceptin + Perjeta if you're HER2+. If you are HER2+, you'd end up doing a year of Herceptin after surgery (and possibly radiation, depending on whether or not you have any positive lymph nodes).
My doctors have been happy to help me with anxiety and insomnia. I've taken Ativan and Xanax for anxiety, but only for a short period of time. And, I love Ambien, though I realize that I can't take it forever. Every visit during chemo, my oncologist would have me fill out a sheet with any chemo side-effects or any other problems. Then, we'd talk about how to address them. You should never be afraid to say, "X is bothering me." ((Hugs))
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Thank you!! x
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Thank you East Coast, I'm only seeing your message now. Thank you for your kind words. I do think that it is getting easier, the more I understand. The unknown is what seems to get me the most! I will definitely be using you all! I am worried about the chemo - I just want to know what it will be and the plan. I think you are right, a plan will make things easier! thank you x
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Belle, many women use cold caps to save their hair. I didn't do it but many have had success. There is a thread on here that might be helpful if you want to save your hair.
Best of luck, this truly is the hardest part. Once you know the full picture, you'll feel better. I second anxiety meds, they have helped me so much.
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sorry u had to hear those words also but once treatment plans in place anxiety will ease. Hope is what got me thru and Positive thinking, " I am now this yr a 24 yr Survivor. Hang in there. msphi idc stage2 0\3nodes Lmast 3 months chemo before and after got married 2nd then rads then 5yrs on Tamoxifen.
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thank you Amy, I will look into that. I hope they talk to me about these things in the hospital. Not to sound vain, there are worse things than losing my hair... I just still don’t even know how I feel about it.
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Wow msphil! 24 years. That’s some good news to hear. I keep hearing about the positive thinking .... I’m going to try my best to stay positive. I have no idea what’s to come but ... I’m gonna try!!! X
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hello again,
So the FISH test results came back negative for the HER2. So I don’t know what’s yet. The oncologist is on holiday until next week so it’s just a waiting game now! :
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Sorry for the wait but at least you're getting more info. Maybe spend time researching chemo on the threads here until you meet with your MO. Then you'll be prepared with questions.
There is also, I'm sure, a forum for ER+/PR- out there, because that may make choices a little different. IDK but I know you can find support here and someone with a similar diagnosis!
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Neg HER2 is good news. Hang onto it.
When my hair grew back I liked it short so much that I kept it that way for about 3 years!
Here's a discussion thread for those who start chemo in January 18. I loved my own chemo group; so helpful and I could share anything and they'd "get it". It made me feel less alone and singled out.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69/topics...
Finally after some years I look back and still can't believe my dx was real. It changes so much in our lives. But the operative word is "life",and I believe you will get through this (just a bump in our long road of life) and before you know it will be looking back on all this.
Hugs,
Claire in AZ
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Belle, I know your head must be spinning. It's been 5 years since my diagnosis but I still remember those confusing, disorienting feelings that I had during the first weeks and months of my diagnosis and treatment. Walks, baths and self care activities really helped me. Even just a few minutes a couple of times a day to close my eyes and just breathe. I know you have young kids, and that makes it harder to get some time to yourself. Take all the help you can get, and this forum is such an amazing source of support. ((Hugs))
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Hi elleredux,
Thank you so much for those kind words. I do think this forum is going to be a huge help to me, people have been nothing but kind so far X
Thank you
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