New flat girl

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Jeremiah29-11
Jeremiah29-11 Member Posts: 17
edited September 2021 in Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy

HI! You ladies inspire me. 2 months ago I was diagnosed, stage 3. I'm 42 and it's been insane. Before my surgery, I ran across that Oprah magazine October issue on going flat and then finding the Flat and Fabulous ladies. I knew going this route was right for me so I cancelled with the plastic surgeon, got the bmx, and was home the next day and healed up at lightning speed. This was the right choice for me, no doubt about it. So, my hair started coming out in clumps yesterday after my first chemo round, and I was like, oh no you don't cancer, I DECIDE when my hair goes. So I grabbed the clippers and shaved my head with God as my comforter. Colton Dixon mix in the background. I then put on a pair of tight black pants, sexy top, makeup, heels, and with fresh bald head, took myself to the grocery store. You know what? I didn't fall apart or feel like a goat. I thrived. I strutted down that cereal aisle. And I felt like a million bucks. No hair, no boobs - SO WHAT. This is me. Thank you, ladies, for inspiring me to be me. A virtual HIGHFIVE to you all.

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited December 2017

    Gloria, welcome to the flat side :D Glad to hear that you are taking control and strutting your stuff. I am also a stage 3'er, diagnosed while still in my 40s. My doc asked me to delay recon, and in hindsight it was a good thing that he did. It gave me time to think, to research and also just to get used to not having any boobs, and realizing that it wasn't really such a big deal. I do miss them at times, and cancer generally sucks, not trying to say that it is all unicorns and rainbow farts, but life is good.

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  • Icietla
    Icietla Member Posts: 1,265
    edited December 2017

    Welcome!

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  • Jeremiah29-11
    Jeremiah29-11 Member Posts: 17
    edited December 2017

    Thank you!!!

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  • Icietla
    Icietla Member Posts: 1,265
    edited December 2017

    Yes! We define our womanhood. We define our personhood. We are good enough. We are complete.

    You look fabulous. I hope you keep feeling fabulous. You are fabulous.

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  • ravzari
    ravzari Member Posts: 277
    edited December 2017

    When I decided to do a prophylactic BMX due to family history, I also (after about a years' worth of research) decided against reconstruction as having breasts just wasn't important enough to me to go through extra surgery. My worth and who I am has never been tied up, for me, in my breasts.


    Decided that anyone who wanted to judge me because of a flat chest wouldn't be worth my time and when my husband asked if I was sure I didn't want to reconstruct essentially told him the same thing and told him if he had a problem with it I'd get some breast forms and a bra for him to wear any time he decided he wanted breasts around (he thought that was funny at least.).


    So far, nobody has really noticed or, if they have, they've been smart enough not to say anything as, let's be honest, making any commentary on a stranger's body is pretty rude; two women who have said anything to me said it in the context of being at the gym and wanting to know what kind of sports bra I had that 'gave such good compression for cardio'. They were also both pretty embarrassed when I told them I'd had a mastectomy, but, really, I wasn't mad at all (and they just thought I had small breasts to begin with and was in a really good sports bra) so it was all fine.

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  • Snickersmom
    Snickersmom Member Posts: 926
    edited December 2017

    Welcome to our world of flat! I so admire you for what you did! I was Stage 1A and had a BMX because I didn't want to have just one. I don't regret it for one minute, but I still am having issues with clothes that don't fit right, and also my shape. I have all of my weight in my stomach, butt, and thighs since I've been on Arimidex. Trying to exercise and eat right but I seem to be in a slump at the moment.

    But now you have motivated me!!

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited December 2017

    You go, Gloria!!!

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  • Susaine
    Susaine Member Posts: 28
    edited December 2017

    Great Madam!

    I pray for your recovery.

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  • ToughCookie101
    ToughCookie101 Member Posts: 191
    edited December 2017

    ravzari, that comment to your husband, good for you!

    Gloria, your bone structure and eyes! You’re gorgeous!

    The positivity of all of the women I have met on this board amazes me. The fact that I was diagnosed at 33 (tested negatve on the genetics), is a sh*t show. The fact that my tumor is in the axillary tail (apparently rare), even stranger. But the strength and positive thinking of the women I have met along the way, priceless.

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited December 2017

    Toughcookie, well said!

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  • MamaOz
    MamaOz Member Posts: 432
    edited December 2017

    gloria, welcome and you look fabulous!

    Its a tough road and we are all finding strenghth in each other!

    Snickersmom, hows the arimidex going for you??

    Im achy but determined..

    Wishing all A Healthy New Year

    Live love laugh

    Mamaoz

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  • rljes
    rljes Member Posts: 547
    edited March 2018

    Hi all, Hi GloriaJ29

    (toughcookie, Mamaoz)  

    I do admire the ones that go for the implants and expanders - imagine 59 years old and having breasts of a 21 year old.  But Its just not for me - I don't want to go thru the surgeries and Dr visitis and the pain of it all.

    I had really thin skin, so I'm taking longer than most to heal - but I had surgery Aug 22 and I'm at full ROM and no more pain - that was when I started Chemo - so about 2-3 months to feel really comfortable - sooner if you keep on top of your exercises and stretches. (as I didn't)  First feels like you have 2 x 4's in your chest. 

    I knew right away I wanted to go flat.  All my life (I'm 59) I had saggy huge breasts that caused upper back neck problems plus shingle neuropathy that caused wearing a bra painful.  Painful to NOT to wear one too.  Of course my BS wasn't to thrilled taking 'a perfectly good breast' but I insisted and have had Zero Regrets. 

    No more back aches, can wear the cutest t-shirts. And I can't remember what they are called, but a knitting group knits 'boob's to put in your bra or sports bra to show a little bump.  Its on one of the sites - Probably Surgery in July or August 2017.  Plus, in a year I plan to maybe get nipple tattoos.  I just got to watch out for that Buddha bump.  Take care, Rj

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  • Kelhab
    Kelhab Member Posts: 11
    edited September 2021

    hi can someone please give me advice as to what im facing here. Newly diagnosed cant eat sleep or think. Crying all day since i found out 2 weeks ago. Idc in axillary tail through core biopsy. Had a double propholactic mastectomy 9 yaers ago. Did me no good apparently. Devestated and cant cope. Thx

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2021

    Kelhab - you may want to start your own new thread as these threads are quite old and people may not scroll down to your specific question.

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