Just diagnosed and panicking

Vera1966
Vera1966 Member Posts: 21
edited January 2018 in Just Diagnosed

Hi everyone,

It seems I have joined the club that none of us really want to join. I was diagnosed on December 11th and it has been a whirlwind of appointments and tests and I have stayed pretty calm throughout. Tonight is the first night that I am just losing it and I feel completely panicked. I have been looking at other stories and seem to find a lot of stage 0 or 1 and grade 1 or 2. I am not trying to diminish anyone's experience, I know this is a difficult journey for all. Its just that I have been diagnosed with Stage 2A, grade 3. There are two tumors in the right breast one is, I think, 1.2 centimeters and one is 1.4. They are very close together, and with the connecting tissue, they are calling it 3 centimeters. Now they have found three small spots in my left breast as well. I just had the biopsy today. The doctor felt that there was a fifty/fifty shot whether they were cancerous as well. So this leaves me really confused and overwhelmed. Is this cancer survivable for ten, fifteen, or twenty years? Is this cancer automatically going to metastasize? I know no one can answer these questions, but I would be very interested in other people's thoughts and experiences. I have two kids and I am absolutely terrified of leaving them. Thank you for listening.


Amy

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited December 2017

    No this cancer does not always metastasize, 70% never come back. You can expect to survive a long time. Grade 3 is more aggressive but on the good side tends to respond to treatment. I have a friend that had many large tumors and positive lymph nodes stage 3C grade 3 and she is still cancer free 20 years later.

    You will want to find out your hormone status and her2 status to help determine treatment. Did they tell you what kind idc, ilc ....?

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  • chronicpain
    chronicpain Member Posts: 385
    edited December 2017

    Welcome, dear Amy, though we know you would prefer to be elsewhere.

    :(

    Early on at diagnosis time it is indeed overwhelming, being hit with so much information all at once and it can be paralyzing. Many ladies with your type do live many years with treatment, and you are just starting your learning process. Cancers do not "automatically" metastasize, many never do!

    Talk to an oncologist ASAP to get a good handle on your tissue type, estrogen and progesterone receptor status, and HER status, and thef you are ok with it, post your information ( age also helps us get to know you, with your kids) so people can direct you to the right subforums for assistance suggestions and support. Get some idea what docs are proposing ( surgery, chemo, XRT, or what). Meanwhile consider talking to your primary about a sedative to help get you through this rough time, if appropriate for you.

    Moderators can help suggest a few "getting started" threads too, especially relating to telling kids what is happening once you know more.

    Remember you are not alone, people here can be supportive and helpful to guide you


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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited December 2017

    Sorry you have to be here Amy but since you are, there is no better place for support. While we aren’t doctors we can certainly share our experiences which can give you some idea of what to expect. Realizing we are all different of course and no DX is exactly the same we can still point you in the right direction.

    The early stages of the process are the most difficult. Once you have a treatment plan in place it typically moves quickly.

    My advice would be be sure you have confidence in your medical team and don’t be afraid to ask questions. We all did our homework. It helps.

    Rely on help from friends and family. Not a crime asking for it besides you have children to consider.

    Breast cancer treatments and research have come a long way even since I was DX in 2011.

    Your fear factor is understandable. Unfortunately it comes with the territory but I have realized after 6 years the worry subsides with time.

    There are lots of links connected with this website. Take advantage of those. We have all been there, done that so we can address a lot of your concerns.

    It will be okay. We are testaments to that. So keep the faith and keep us posted.

    Diane
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  • dtad
    dtad Member Posts: 2,323
    edited December 2017

    Hi there. So sorry you have to be here but welcome. I know you will find this community to be both comforting and knowledgeable. The beginning is the absolute worst! I promise you will feel better once you have all the facts and a treatment plan in place. W are all here for you. Good luck and keep us posted.

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  • Vera1966
    Vera1966 Member Posts: 21
    edited December 2017

    Thank you all for your support. I know it is very early and this is a long road.

    My hormone status is estrogen and progesterone strongly positive. They said my HER2 is “equivocal ‘ so treated as negative which I don’t really understand. I was told my cancer is IDC.

    My surgeon is saying lumpectomy which seems strange to me as I have been told I have very dense breasts so I’m not sure what to do, My oncologist says chemo and radiation although she can’t tell me what kind until they do testing on the lumpectomy I guess.

    It’s all so confusing. I like my doctors but I have no idea if they are the “best” as far as treatment goes. Thank you all for your responses it feels like a lifeline right now.

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  • HollyDollyD
    HollyDollyD Member Posts: 77
    edited December 2017

    Hi Amy,

    (I was just diagnosed, too).

    My Mum had Stage 2B, Grade 3 cancer. She is almost at her 10 year mark. There is hope. She had surgery, chemo, radiation and aromatase inhibitors in that order. And a wonderful oncologist. Who has just become my oncologist. She fought this with everything she had - and is still going strong at 70+ and working full time.

    Cheering you on, sister,

    Holly

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  • muska
    muska Member Posts: 1,195
    edited December 2017

    Adebernardi, depending on what they find in the other breast you might want to get a second opinion about surgery. You didn't fill in your profile yet and didn't mention your age but it looks like you might be younger than many and therefore a more aggressive treatment that would reduce your risks of recurrence years down the road might be considered.

    Best

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  • ToughCookie101
    ToughCookie101 Member Posts: 191
    edited December 2017

    Hi Amy, this is stressful. I was newly diagnosed at 33 years old. My mom was an eight year survivor of breast cancer with three tumors in one breast (the largest around 2.5cm). She passed away from something unrelated. So, she would have kept thriving!

    My doctors were trying to get me to have a lumpectomy and rads too. I have opted for a nipple sparing mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, and I want the other one done later too. It is totally a personal choice though.

    Have you done genetic testing? Also, do you know what your BIRADS score is on the other tumor? 50/50 is an interesting comment, and most come back as benign. I had a lump in my other breast too that required a biopsy (it was found in my post-diagnosis MRI). It was benign, lumps and bumps are common.

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a benign finding for you on the other side,and clear nodes for us both, and all others awaiting surgery and/or results.

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  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited December 2017

    Hi A. Am I correct that you have biopsy results on one breast but not the other? If that is correct I would wait for the results of the second biopsy to make a decision. If the spots found in the second breast are found to be benign, and you are on the large-chested side, then a lumpectomy followed by radiation may be ok, and you may not need chemo. You are correct that they will make that decision after the surgery when they know size, etc. for sure from the pathology report.

    But if you do have BC in both breasts, that would change the treatment plan.

    Keep us posted and do try to stay positive. This is something you can beat; so many of us have.

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  • Vera1966
    Vera1966 Member Posts: 21
    edited December 2017

    Thank you all so very much for your responses. All of it what I needed to hear. Miraculously, I got the biopsy results on the left breast back in 24 hours and all three spots found on the MRI came back negative! I was so relieved. They scheduled my lumpectomy on he right breast for next week. Two doctors have advised a lumpectomy. I am completing open to the idea of a mastectomy and I have seen others here who started with a lumpectomy and then ended up with a mastectomy. I can live with that. Muska, in regards to my age I am 51, probably not much younger than most here. I just had my children later in life, so they are still young. I think I just want to have the lumpectomy to find out exactly what I am dealing with as quickly as possible. I know that they can't really stage me until they know about lymph node involvement. My surgeon thinks my lump will turn out to be smaller than my oncologist thinks so maybe that will change my stage. If the results are worse than I am hoping for than I am completing wiling to have a mastectomy. Does this make sense? I can see you ladies are all very knowledgable. I am so happy have found this space. Thank you so much for the support!

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  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited December 2017

    Oh, that's so great! The MRI technology almost always says the tumor is larger than it really is, so I agree with your surgeon that one or both will end up smaller on the final pathology report so your stage may change. And I also had two tumors close together, removed in one "chunk" with a lumpectomy. So that all makes sense to me.

    The lumpectomy procedure itself makes for a very, very long day, so bring something to read + all of your patience! But recovery is much easier than with a masectomy.


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  • Vera1966
    Vera1966 Member Posts: 21
    edited December 2017

    Thanks Georgia1. Thats good to know.

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  • muska
    muska Member Posts: 1,195
    edited December 2017

    Hi adebernardi, great news they didn't find anything in the other breast! It looks like you have a plan now, I hope surgery goes well and the results are good. Good luck and Happy New Year!

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  • Vera1966
    Vera1966 Member Posts: 21
    edited December 2017

    Thank you for the kind words. Happy New Year!

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  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 4,800
    edited December 2017

    Hi adebernardi, glad you're getting your lumpectomy done soon. It's the waiting around that is maddening - once you're actually doing something, it feels better.

    Your plan is completely sensible and was exactly my plan. Lumpectomy + radiation has the same outcomes as a mastectomy and it's a much less involved surgery, less risky, less chance of infections or other complications.

    Sounds like you have similar tentative diagnosis to mine so we can follow along together :)

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  • Vera1966
    Vera1966 Member Posts: 21
    edited December 2017

    HI moth,

    It does sound like we have very similar diagnoses, ages, and plans. I would like to follow along together. I have found that talking to people who are going through the same thing and understand is one of the things that helps me.


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  • Wonderfulmom
    Wonderfulmom Member Posts: 38
    edited January 2018

    Hi. I was diagnosed with 2b seven years ago. I had a mastectomy, 4 preventative chemos, radiation and diep flap reconstructive surgery and another reconstructive surgery after that. Follow all of your oncologists advice. Take it one step at a time and you will get through this. God has been a huge help for me in all of this and prayer has been very powerful and helpful.

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  • Vera1966
    Vera1966 Member Posts: 21
    edited January 2018

    Thanks Wonderfulmom. I have been praying a great deal. It’s the only time I feel calm.

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  • Wonderfulmom
    Wonderfulmom Member Posts: 38
    edited January 2018

    Psalm 46: Claim it. It's yours.

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