nervous for my BC staging next week

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jgd78
jgd78 Member Posts: 11
edited December 2017 in Just Diagnosed

Hello ladies,

So had single mastectomy 1 wk ago and recovering quite well. Drain is gone thank god and stopped already with the meds. i am just feeling pretty down. i do not want to leave my house nor see anyone. i am 39 with 2 young kids and great husband but once kids are around i snap out of my depressed mood but when they are at school it's total hiding out in my room watching tv and resting all day long in complete darkness. my room is my favourite place in the world to be i swear. i get my full results next wk regarding my stage etc node involvement etc. my cancer in right breast was 7cm long so i'm quite worried about that size. i guess if i have nodes involved i'll be a stage 3? i did have all the scans done for spreading ex. ct/bone scan etc in mid nov and they came back clear. i am just so depressed i almost just want to disappear at times and never come back to this life. i swear it's so hard with young children. i also worry that the cancer will spread to other breast as i'm not removing that one until after treatment and doing reconstruction then too. sorry for the long post just wanted to let some thoughts out. thanks

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  • jgd78
    jgd78 Member Posts: 11
    edited December 2017

    Has anyone seen my msg??

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  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 3,044
    edited December 2017

    Hi jgd78

    Sorry I have not noticed your post before ...the boards a bit slower at the moment..I guess everyone is caught up with Christmas.

    As you've probably been told before the early stage your in at the moment is the hardest .Once you have all your information in , and a plan in place , everything becomes easier to deal with .

    On a bright note it is great that all your scans have come back clear ..

    Stay with us on these boards ...there are so many wonderful people here that will help you through whatever treatment you have . We all understand the emotions and anxieties you are going through .

    Hugs




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  • Peacetoallcuzweneedit
    Peacetoallcuzweneedit Member Posts: 233
    edited December 2017

    Hi jgd-

    I think it is the holiday week that has everyone "somewhere" else and this is my first holiday season post breast cancer...and even I have been trying to think about anything else BUT breast cancer. It is hard sgd....seriously the time after diagnosis and surgery is very difficult..the unknowns and the waiting and lots of "what ifs." I am so sorry you are feeling depressed right now...I am sending comfort to you and continued complication free healing...I swear to, that when I get in the shower and then climb into my bed - it is one of my favorite places as well...I have been using the "calm" app and listening to stories to keep my brain "distracted" so that I can fall asleep. Hey it is a really good sign your scans have come back clear, I would say try to focus on that when you hit that low place...keep going sgd, it does get better....life for sure has changed, but there is still a lot of good ahead...trust that....and keep your kids close. :-)

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  • ps0705
    ps0705 Member Posts: 122
    edited December 2017

    Hi There,

    I'm sorry you are feeling so down and that you reached out and no one initially responded. I also have 2 kids but mine are older (12 year old daughter and 19 year old son). My BMX is scheduled for Thursday 12/21. I totally understand being up for everyone else but when alone, it's been my time to mourn my situation and try to deal with it and ultimately accept it....this is so hard. Glad to hear your drains are out after a week. That is the part I am dreading the most.

    How is your family handling the holidays? Mine is wanting to come to my house but I don't want them here now with me with my drains in and such. ugh.

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  • lemonee
    lemonee Member Posts: 39
    edited December 2017

    I'm new here, but just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry you were feeling alone. Sending prayers and good thoughts.

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  • bluepearl
    bluepearl Member Posts: 961
    edited December 2017

    7cm could be the measurement of DCIS as well. Tumour might be a lot smaller. I hate that your are 39 with small children because when I was that age, I NEVER thought of breast cancer or any cancer for that matter. This would be very hard for you. Breast cancer doesn't spread to the other breast, but your age indicates that there may be a genetic component so you might want that tested. IF it is a large tumour it could be lobular cancer which tends to be hormone positive and slower growing...which would be good. Having clear follow uo scans is good news too. We have to take this disease one day at a time and I can understand your retreat into your room....I did the opposite...I walked about 10 miles a day crying all the time. ())HUGS)))

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  • jgd78
    jgd78 Member Posts: 11
    edited December 2017

    hey ladies, here's an update... i'm stage 2a tumours are small i totally misread the 7cm for something else excuse me. so i have small tumours but quite a few and 2 lymph nodes involved. could be much worse so i'm happy with these results. seeing my oncologist thurs for treatment options. do you think chemo is necessary with my stage?? i also would like an oncotype ex test done: thx ladies

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  • ps0705
    ps0705 Member Posts: 122
    edited December 2017

    Now that you have your stage, once you meet with your oncologist, you can form a plan. I'm not sure about your question about treatment including chemo, but possibly someone else can chime in. I do know that whatever is recommended, I would get a 2nd and possibly 3rd opinion. Keep in mind that since you are younger, they may recommend more tx. than an older person would have.

    Hugs and please keep us updated.

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  • beach2beach
    beach2beach Member Posts: 996
    edited December 2017

    Hi ,

    Did you ask your Dr. if he/she sent out for the OncotypeDx? If he/she did not mention it, I'd call and ask if they could send it out. It takes a week to come back at the least so you would want that done , especially with the Holidays and places closed for a day or so.

    As for the depression,, heck yeah. Who could blame you. My kids are older but I still put a brave face on for them before, during and after. When I'm alone, then it's just me and my thoughts. I spent the two weeks before surgery in a hazy daze. I'm better with trying to keep the neg thoughts at bay, but I think we need to let ourselves feel the way we do. It's still very new for you.

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  • EastcoastTS
    EastcoastTS Member Posts: 864
    edited December 2017

    Jgd78:

    I'm not sure how to answer the chemo question, either, exactly. Oncotype decided no for me -- I have you by about ten years, however, and age may play a role for you. Take a fat list of questions to your MO on Thursday!

    Sorry you find yourself here and dealing with this. I'm a mom of a 10-year-old and thinking about him during all this was my biggest vulnerability.

    Big hug to you!!!

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  • SavedbyGrace1972
    SavedbyGrace1972 Member Posts: 105
    edited December 2017

    jdg78

    It's ok to feel down and lost just don't stay there. Don't allow this disease to rob you of precious time with your babies. Yes you're young but that could also mean better treatment options. It's day 9 since my diagnosis and I'm up in wee hours of the morning, sleeping on the sofa but most importantly, I'm writing in a journal about my feelings.


    That is helping a lot! All my fears, feelings and failures, I'm writing them out. It's helping with my mood. Like I'm not holding it in yet I'm not telling it to anyone either. See I'm up again and it's almost 3am! Lol

    Right now it's difficult to be sick cause it's Christmas, but I think it would be difficult whenever we found out. But hey, think positive. It's been detected early enough in the game so you can kick its butt!!! I'm going to try to go back to sleep a little while longer and get up around 5am (east coast time), but cheer up buttercup and be thankful for everything. If I've learned nothing throughout this proces, I've learned to be thankful for each day, each moment andeach memory.

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  • houmom
    houmom Member Posts: 162
    edited December 2017

    I turned 40 a couple of weeks before my diagnosis, and my kids are young too. It is hard, I know. But we have to get on with it and think positively! Hopefully your oncologist visit goes well tomorrow. Try not to let yourself be alone at home if you know you don’t do well during that time.

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  • jgd78
    jgd78 Member Posts: 11
    edited December 2017

    Hello,

    so i start chemo in 2 weeks with 6 rounds every 3 weeks. radiation will follow afterwards for just s few weeks. did any of you younger BC patients take neulasta with chemo?? i'm hearing horrific stories of the side affects (bone pain) and also reading it is best for older people with some health issues. i'm not sure i want to take it. is chemo really that horrible? i have 2 small children so i'm super worried ill get sick often and be sleeping all day and night. do doctors monitor our blood count? i hope so. also, do most woman lose eyebrows and lashes too? thx x

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  • Nancy2581
    Nancy2581 Member Posts: 1,234
    edited December 2017

    hi jgd78 - chemo is not as horrible as it's made out to be. It's not a walk in the park either, but doable. They have such good medications now to help with side effects. I did neulasta for my first half of chemo. Absolutely no problems with it. I did take Claritin as advised to help with any bone pain which I never had. Everyone is different. The worst part of chemo for me was losing my hair. Vanity at its finest lol. Hang in there - I bet you'll do just fine

    Nancy

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  • jgd78
    jgd78 Member Posts: 11
    edited December 2017

    thanks for your reply. i'm thinking of giving the neulasta a try and if the bone pain is horrible ill stop. yes losing the hair is the worst by far. going to get myself a wig next week a good one as ill have the wig for quite awhile as i'm sure hair takes a long time to grow in. thx x

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  • Nancy2581
    Nancy2581 Member Posts: 1,234
    edited December 2017

    As hard as it was to lose my hair I had synthetic wigs and omg they looked better than my real hair. People who didn't know me couldn't tell. Even some of my friends just thought I'd changed my hair some. Synthetic wigs are so easy to care for too. I washed mine every 7-10 days in the sink and then let them air dry. They went right back to their amazing shape. Anyway just wanting to make you feel better about your hair. It's not fun. It's been 3 years since I lost my hair and it's all back just like before (didn't take 3 years to get there). Hugs

    Nancy

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