Loved one, checking in. (Hope its okay)

Thank you Falconer, I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I have ordered her an iPad Mini that I intend to load with her favorite shows in order to provide her with some distraction while sitting in waiting rooms or resting up. At some point, when the time is right, I hope to introduce her to the community here.

Thanks again and I wish you and everyone else all the best for the holidays.

Thank you so much again -- I intellectually know that worrying before we have more information (or at all, really) doesn't do us any good, and my research is speculative, but I find it difficult to avoid going down that route.

ToughCookie, my thanks for your positive story and condolences about your Mom.

NotVeryBrave, the radiologist, or nurse, or someone, told her that more than the two biopsies would be "too much for the body." My Mom is a healthy 68 year old, so this did not seem to be indicative of their view of what she could handle, but rather some kind of global theory?

Thanks for the tip MTwoman, I'll see if she can contact radiology and get a copy of the imaging.

Henceforth I will try to be as involved and physically with-her at appointments as I can, but I wasn't there for this. Apparently the radio technician performed the ultrasound, and excused herself from the room to get the radiologist. The radiologist came in and performed the ultrasound and, after about ten or fifteen minutes, pulled off her gloves and said "We are pretty sure it is breast cancer. Do you have any questions?" My mother said something to the effect of "What?!" and the radiologist repeated herself. My mother then said that she didn't think she did, and she was in shock -- the radiologist said "you can get dressed and we'll see you outside." She cried for a couple of minutes in the room and pulled herself together, got dressed, and left. This was the extent of her diagnosis and remains the extent of the information she has.

Unfortunately in this vacuum of information, her (and my) research (though I keep mine to myself) has lead her to believe that if they are "pretty sure" from an ultrasound that it is BC and is in a lymph node that this can't be early stage. She has indicated to me that the one lump is kind of sizable, such that she doesn't understand how she missed it until now. As I think I had mentioned, her regular doctor has given her breast exams (as recently as ~10 months ago) but she has never had a mammogram before the above experience.

At any rate, the way this was handled and in the absence of good information, a flood of bad thoughts has flooded. She keeps talking about the size and the lymph node involvement and is certain biopsies will confirm cancer and that she is at least Stage 3. I try to tell her that if they were certain it was cancer, they wouldn't need a biopsy. Since my only source of information is her and her experience at the office, I have a difficult time convincing her that everything will be okay, or disabusing her of her concerns. The 13th and 18th (+ 5-6 days for results) can't come soon enough.

I can't help but feel like if this was a condition that men faced first, we would likely have more years of treatment research under our belts and, second, stories like my Mom's would be less common. My heart goes out to all of you ladies that are facing or have faced this.

Thanks everyone for your help and support.

My Mom had the second biopsies today on her lymph nodes. Results came back from the lumps, it is BC in both breasts — my research indicates this isn’t terribly uncommon and not necessarily an indicator of a terrible prognosis? Holding on to that.

She originally had an appointment to meet with a surgeon on 1/5, but made a few calls and spoke about her overall psychological state and wanting to move quickly and we will be meeting with a surgeon on Thursday. Fingers crossed that will bring with it some good/hopeful news. I think she needs to hear from some medical professional that there is a path forward with some hope. So far it is has been all test results and “I’m so sorry” with long faces.

The rest of the family is holding it together in her presence — she has a “just give me a chance and I’ll beat this” attitude — but privately we are about to pieces. We just need some good/hopeful news.

Thanks everyone for listening

Thanks once again for all of your thoughts, I have been passing them on to Mom and she is most appreciative.

I will post a longer reply tomorrow -- for now, Stage 3 ILC with lymph metastatic carcinoma on left side - grade 2. Grade 1 on right side, IDC, stage 1. Both sides ER and PRO positive, Her2 negative on left side for sure, uncertain about right for now -- leaning positive.

The largest mass is 12 x 11 cm and that is on the left, with the abnormal lymph node. Surgeon wants to start chemo asap (seeing oncologist Jan 4) and opt for surgery post-chemo, rather than the other way around. Explanation was that they want to be certain its working and working well before they operate.

Next steps are CAT/PET/bone scan, bloodwork ahead of that, and the Jan 4 meeting with the oncologist (unsure if the scans will come pre or post that). Surgeon was ... I will say cautiously optimistic. Said if it is indeed Stage 3, its "curable" and if its Stage 4 its "treatable." Pulling for a 3.

So far Mom is numb, I think. Relatively relaxed and has an "this will be rough but I'll be fine" attitude. Was worried about losing hair and being able to continue to watch my daughter during the day. Plan here is to keep her looped in and babysitting every day that she conceivably can, as much for Mom as for my daughter, who relishes her time with grandma.

Thanks again for all the thoughts. I feel, similarly, cautiously optimistic. Folks here are much more expert than I, so please feel free to weigh in. Thank you all.