Just starting this fight

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Mamatwoboys
Mamatwoboys Member Posts: 22
edited December 2017 in Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After

I have posted a couple things, and the support on here is amazing.. it’s just so hard for me to get back on this site. Is there an easier way??

Anyway.... I have mistakenly asked some people for help with what I am going through, instead of “keep your head up!” I seem to get “it’s SUCKS! Things get so much worse!!” And the worst horror stories!!

I get this is bad. This has been my first surgery, first sickness, my hair was both my sons security blanket from birth, constant mild headache, constant sadness, fear, nausea... but I know it is worse for so many. My biggest issue right now is the pain from losing my hair, the constant fear and the anger (I think may be coming from the steroid I am on), also the confusion of not knowing what is going on or what is coming up .... I am a mess!! It’s the holidays. I have a 4 and 10 year old, an elf to hide every night, and yet.. my favorite time of the year is being stolen by my negativity...

what helped you??? I need to pray more, seems I got upset with God and stopped talking to him as much. That could be a major reason for being negative! What else helped? Please don’t tell me support group, this is my support group!

Thanks to all y’all!!!

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  • Leatherette
    Leatherette Member Posts: 448
    edited December 2017

    I wish I could tell you something specific that helps. Positive self-talk, marking milestones ("three chemos done, halfway through!", etc) helped sometimes, and sometimes they weren't enough. Let others do things for you, and you will be overwhelmed by how kind others are-that can help on two levels-less to do, positive feelings....

    Maybe start with letting someone else hide the elf (unless you love doing it).

    Don't be mad at yourself for feeling negative, it just propogates the cycle, and uses up energy that could be used finding the next positive nugget to keep you going. Expect that this may well be a shitty Christmas (cancer christmas), and be pleasantly surprised when things go well.

    I hope this helps.



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  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited December 2017

    Every morning you wake up....that day is yours. Live it

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  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited December 2017

    Read inspirational books. Let others help you when you need it. Watch funny movies. Do things for others. I journaled a lot. You will have mixed emotions; it is a process, not an event. Give yourself permission and time to experience the emotions and fear that you feel. It's all a part of it. If you need meds to get through any anxiety or to cope, ask for them. One day at a time. ((HUGS))

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  • Dennyj
    Dennyj Member Posts: 106
    edited December 2017

    I would say don't beat yourself up! You are dealing with so much....just the Elf is enough pressure!!!!

    I was in your spot last year and a friend who was a survivor told me to say "I am here today" when I started to get anxious or fearful of what was to come. I found peace in that statement and I still use it -

    Don't beat yourself up, you have enough going on....

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  • Rrobin0200
    Rrobin0200 Member Posts: 433
    edited December 2017

    I wish there was a "like" button for Beatmon's reply. So simple, yet so true,

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  • Hariry
    Hariry Member Posts: 138
    edited December 2017

    Mamatwoboys- I asked God... why me? I was angry with Him. This is 4weeks since then. He has been with me, with us. He heals. He understands. I lift up everything to Him knowing I'm in good hands. Peace be with you.

    Robin- the masec.... did you or your doctor opt that? Yours an in situ....

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  • Flynn
    Flynn Member Posts: 307
    edited December 2017

    Hi, good luck finding something that works for you. I have made a couple friends that are also being treated/just finished. I try not to get to detailed with most people, just b/c I don't enjoy talking about cancer all day. I have 7 yo twins and while we're not doing as much as usual this holiday season, I enjoy our activities a ton.They love our elf so much lol. I think you've gotten lots of good suggestions from the other ladies!

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  • PVM
    PVM Member Posts: 136
    edited December 2017

    Mamatwoboys it is normal to be angry & frustrated while going though this journey. Its not one we asked for but its one we shall damn well kick butt in & win! All the wonderful warriors on this thread gave you amazing advise. Like Hariry i was the same asked why me i think that is common for all of us & then once i started to get more into my treatment i got stronger & had a stronger will to fight. You will get that too, i pray that you find strength to get through all your treatments with no major SE. I was lucky i had a great support of family & friends & that made me stronger. I also met some amazing ladies going through the same thing as me & we became very good friends. Everyone's journey is different but we share one common goal to kick butt! Something i will always remember when i had my hardest moments was my friends & family kept on telling me the following "keep your head up, God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers" WE are strong & we are deff soldiers & we shall kick butt & beat this beast! Wishing you strength as you get through this & you will get through this.

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