Just got the call

LBoyMom · December 2017

Ughhhhh. I was praying so hard but as I'm waiting in gynecologist office to get IUD taken out the nurse navigator called. I had a biopsy last Wednesday. She said it's Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with one lymph node positive. Also a Ductal carcinoma n Situ.

I prayed so hard for benign or just the minimum. I'm blown away. I'm terrified it's spread so far in me. I meet with oncology team Thursday. Getting the news has not settled me. I'm more panicked it's all over me.

I have to go home and tell my husband. This sucks.

gb2115 · December 2017

Sorry. :-(. It's hard to believe, but you will get through this. I had a positive lymph node too and it ended up being ok in the end, no indication that it spread anywhere else. It only added extra radiation to my treatment plan.

So next step is meeting with the team and you already have an appointment so that's great. Do you know any more detailed pathology (like hormone receptor status) or tumor size?

LBoyMom · December 2017

not yet. I'm just terrified it's all over me. Being spread isn’t an option!! It can’t be!! I have two young sons, 7 & 4. I’m in comeplete fear

Well I do know it’s estrogen & progesterone negative

MarilynIllinois · December 2017

Hi LBoyMom, I'm sorry your results were not benign. Best wishes to you.

In my case I was walking outside when my doctor called and didn't hear him correctly. If I had it to do over again I would have asked him to post the pathology report on my patient portal so I could readit ahead of time.

Also can you ask your husband or a friend to go with you on Thursday to the meeting with the doctors? I found it so helpful to have my husband with me. I found it overwhelming and it helped to have DH listening in on all the information.

I also got a second opinion which really helped me feel more in control.

Best wishes to you.

Kellirlane · December 2017

I am so sorry- I got my results this am too and it’s also invasive ductal carcinoma, with at least one lymph node involved. I’m devasted- we have 4 young children. My appt is also scheduled for Thursday. So many prayers for peace for you. I may also so anxious that it has spread everywhere. Please keep me posted.

chronicpain · December 2017

LBoyMom, I am so sorry about the news and can relate to your terror. When my breast biopsy doctor called with the results she immediately had ready the "good news" part of my tumor type to mitigate my potential for freaking out, apparently your nurse navigator did not offer you that, so sorry.

I agree with MarilynIlli and others about bringing DH or someone with you to keep track of what they say, take notes, help you with pre-written questioms, or ask permission if you can record information on your iphone for later review. Your mind will not be totally focussed.

I would also call your primary care doc or ob/gyn now, do not wait, and ask for some prescription sedatives appropriate to your medical history, given the understandable terror you feel ( he will give you usual and appropriate caution about not driving or drinking until you know how you react after trying them). Have them there, try them with DH or someone around, and then have more ready to use if needed, like before the appointment, even if you may not feel you need them. Yoga and organic food and prayers from usalone right now just won't cut it, though they may help,

250,000 times per year in the US women get calls about positive biopsies. I knew that even though only 1/4 biopsies are positive for CA, I tend to defy odds , for the worse, in everything in my medical history. I had left permission to leave confidential voicemails on my iphone with results after the biopsy and knew when the doc left a message saying "I have your results, call me" instead of leaving the message " it's benign!" results that it would be positive.

They will systematically check where it is, with appropriate tests, do not assume it is all over you, with most women it is not.

Best wishes for a good doctor session and the best possible reports, workup and therapy, and coping with being a mom of young kids at the same time. I know it is not much to offer, but remember this forum is here for you and your husband for support, he can post too

chronicpain · December 2017

Kellirlane, so sorry you are joining here and I wish you good luck on your Thursday session. Same advice for sedatives and someone with you as for LBoyMom. Four kids, I cannot imagine coping right now, but when you have a plan of care and workup outlined, and calmness pills on board, it will be better, doable, though hard, trust the veteran ladies on this board.

Keep us posted so we can help as much as we can, though we often feel impotent and the real help would be just to make it all go away.

Best wishes and hope to you, CP

SavedbyGrace1972 · December 2017

I was just diagnosed yesterday as well. My radiologist called and gave me the news because he could not get in contact with my general practitioner and did not want the test results to go unnoticed. We will get through this. All of us will. This is just a process that we must go through to prepare us for the roads ahead. Thursday I am meeting with the surgical team. My husband is coming with me.

SavedbyGrace1972 · December 2017

Kellirlane

I got my results yesterday morning too. My pathology report didn't state rather or not it had lymph node involvement. I've got so many questions because I wasn't or am not sure if they even tested the lymph nodes. We are all overcomers and will fight to the very end.

LBoyMom · December 2017

I agree we can!!! It just can not have spread that is what I’m scared of!! Otherwise, will be a blip on my radar. I just need to have caught it early enough .

Yes Xanax has been a huge help for me at night to sleep!

Melrosemelrose · December 2017

Just read each of your posts and am glad that each of you have found your way here. You will find support and comfort and a place to say how you feel about where you are. Always try to remember that you are not alone.... there are many people in your own lives as well as people here to give you support and help.

I know your emotional roller coaster ride has begun. Buckle in and hold on tight as you travel on this road. This phase is where it is hurry up and wait filled with doctors appointments and testing. The details and your treatment plan will be revealed to you in due time. Keep breathing. As others have said, if you feel you need some anti-anxiety meds, do not hesitate to ask. Only you can tell your medical team how you feel and what you need as you learn the facts about your medical situation. Try to take care of yourself--- eat well and rest. Each of you probably have busy households and need lots of energy and calmness to move forward.

It is good to have your spouse/significant other go with you to your appointments. Sometimes one does not hear everything during this appointments. it just helps to have another set of ears to hear what the doctors are telling you and also to give you much needed support. Take a note pad with you to write down notes during your appointments. Ask for copies of your reports and test results and keep those in a file folder so you can keep track of that information. You may want to jot down questions on that note pad before you go to the appointment so you can ask the doctors any questions that have come to mind. If you don't understand something that is discussed during one of your appointments, ask the doctor to explain it until you understand.

I know what you are going through is not easy and at times hard to comprehend and accept. Hang in there. Wishing each of you the best . Sending many hugs, peace and calm as you move forward.

Rrobin0200 · December 2017

LBoyMom... it's paralyzingly, isn't it? The waiting, THE CALL, the telling your loved ones. It all sucks. No other words to describe the fear.

BUT... you will get through it. Here I am, 9 months out, and I'm telling you this. When people told me that it would get easier, I rolled my eyes at them. Yeah right.. easier? But it does. It will. Life will go on. Albeit a bit different, but none the less, it will go on.

Hang in there. Make sure you try to distract yourself. Have loved ones go to appointments with you. You can't do this alone. You have your appointment already set up... that's awesome. Take it one day at a time. Trust your doctors. Like your doctors. You will be with them for quite some time.

Breathe. I promise you, it will get easier.

Rrobin0200 · December 2017

LBoyMom... it's paralyzingly, isn't it? The waiting, THE CALL, the telling your loved ones. It all sucks. No other words to describe the fear.

BUT... you will get through it. Here I am, 9 months out, and I'm telling you this. When people told me that it would get easier, I rolled my eyes at them. Yeah right.. easier? But it does. It will. Life will go on. Albeit a bit different, but none the less, it will go on.

Hang in there. Make sure you try to distract yourself. Have loved ones go to appointments with you. You can't do this alone. You have your appointment already set up... that's awesome. Take it one day at a time. Trust your doctors. Like your doctors. You will be with them for quite some time.

Breathe. I promise you, it will get easier.

LBoyMom · December 2017

Thank you all so much. Just a rough day here. That pathology report has so many scary words. Also my side hurts from what I’ve said was an ab muscle strain (I was hitting the exercise pretty hard last 5 months, and truly have never felt better). Which now I of course think spread to my lung or some other organ.

I’m trying so hard to stay positive. I know I will feel better when they sit down and give me a game plan. I know I have a 4cm mass thatshowed up overnight. So I’m praying so so hard it’s still early.

Just a really tough mental health day today.

Thank you all for your support.

SavedbyGrace1972 · December 2017

LBoyMom

I agree it is extremely scary. Hoping that it's not cancer and then hoping and praying it hasn't spread. I'm right here with you girl. Telling family and friends and hearing the fear in their voices and on their faces is terrifying. Right now I'm just wondering if this is just a dream and so ready to wake up! To think I've pondered with the thought of making cancer announcement cards😆.

Right now we need to think positive and keep our eyes on a savior. I've decided I'm not going to allow this to get the best of me. We are OVERCOMERS!!! This board is giving me life. There are so many warriors winning this fight daily. Let's add our names to the list!!!

Everyone here is so supportive and have experienced the best, worst and everything inbetween this disease has to offer!!! We will help doctors find new treatments and advance technology. Try not to worry and trust me I know it's hard because I was just diagnosed yesterday and meet with the surgeons Thursday.

Healing, peace and positive thinking going forward!

SavedbyGrace1972 · December 2017

thank you MelroseMelrose. Your words are so comforting.

Anonymous · December 2017

Dear "newbies",

I can completely empathize with your fear and shock. Even some years later I still look back and say "that happened to me"? I just want to tell you this is just a bump in your long roads of life. It doesn't feel like that now--more like an earthquake that just won't stop--but you will get good news as your walk the treatment road with your medical team, I'm positive, and all this winds up behind you. Your oncologist will tell you something positive, or your RO or surgeon if you have one. If they don't--ask them to give you some positive news and hang onto it.

I lost a bunch of weight after my initial dx and more during chemo because of anxiety, but that was okay. I found a strength I didn't know I had during those 6 months of tx--but it took a while. My advice? If you are anxious to the point it is affecting your life, sleep, etc. take a mild anti-anxiety med for a little while. I used half a tab of .25 Xanax when I was really bad off, and it helped. And don't rely on Dr. Google at all to try to find information for a bit. I knew how to eliminate unsupported claims about my own dx and how to read research reports, but I still got scared by some of what I saw. A lot of research is years old, and you have to be careful of that. What you might be seeing won't necessarily be the newest and best information.

Hugs

Claire in AZ

Just got the call

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