I can't get my act together and I don't know why

I am sitting here looking at 5 black trash bags of broken toys and mismatched puzzles sitting on my curb.

Given that my boys are 21 and 18, it was about time!

Hi Patrice,

Have you thought about the possibility that your house is depressing you (and not that your house is messy because you depressed). I hate housework, but I am one of these people who gets depressed when things get disorderly, and there is nothing to cure the problem except to clean and organize. I never plan to do this: a day comes when I can't stand it any longer so I do it and don't get anything else done that day but at the end of the day I feel like a new person with a new life. And because I didn't plan it I didn't spend days dreading it and procrastinating.

For months you've been in treatment and you couldn't do the normal housework and you probably feel like your house is caving in on you. It probably feels so overwhelming you don't know where to begin.

I would suggest starting one small project at a time. Start with your lingerie drawer, or your bathroom cosmetics, little projects that you can do in a short time that will make it your daily life easier. Use small bits of time to get little jobs done, like wiping off the stove hood. If it makes you feel better, keep it up! If it doesn't, then I'm completely off track!

Good luck!!!

Mizsissy

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if things don't improve around here soon, i'm moving into Doc's clean house.

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hmmmpph. Now that I'm known as the house that smells of dead rodents. My odor-absorbing bags arrived and all is well!

You can have the room behind the kitchen. Close access to snacks and soothing sounds of the washer and dryer!

Wow! I need to catch up with you guys. I think I'll work on my den, kitchen, laundry room, half bath downstairs, wash and fold clothes....Nah, that sounds like too much work.
Shirley

I was going to offer all this positive advice about things getting better now that I am almost 4 years out but, I'm afraid I am too much of a slug to do that.

My house smells like pets and I was determined to get to the root of the smell. Well, lo and behold, my cat saunters past me, walks up to my huge bouganveilla plant, jumps in and hangs her nasty little ass over the edge to pee.

I tore the house apart cleaning and since I was having a friend staying for two days during the holidays, I put an xmas tree up for the first time in a few years. I was confident that the house was now presentable enough to not be totally embarrassed.

As soon as my friend walks in the door, the first words out of her mouth are, "it smells like cat pee in here"!

So, I know it is time to tear out carpet but I don't have the energy for it. So, I followed your advice and took baby steps to clean one thing.

January 20th - I took down my xmas tree.




xxxooo
Nancy

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The key is just to do very small things! that one drawer, or that one thing!

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Well, Dotti, I did just what you said. Last night I washed a load of dish towels. Yes, a load! I have lots of them because I change them often. I went back to put in some clorox and noticed that it appeared I had already put soap in it. I didn't remember that so I put in more. Anyway, my DH asked me what I was washing. I said dish towels. He said there was a lot of soap in the washing machine. I said okay, I'll rinse them twice. So, when they were through washing I started to rinse them again AND there were NO TOWELS IN THE MACHINE! They were still in the basket. Oh, oh, I know what happened. I was trying to "mult-task." I was cooking when I DIDN'T put the towels in the machine. The end of the story..they are now washed.

I'm sure the superglue was of no use after being frozen. The plant food probably survived. I've done some really nutty things, but I just can't seem to remember them.
Shirley
Now I need to fold the towels. I like a clean house BUT I hate housework!
Shirley

Aerial - One of the things I like about this board is finding out that others are experiencing similar feelings. Depression, anxiety, PTS, fear - it's all scary. Like you I was embarrassed to admit that I wasn't handling things well. My son moved away, my marriage is falling apart and I'm still afraid of BC. I was disappointed in myself that I wasn't stronger. I've never needed help, but I finally realized that sometimes life is just too hard, and we shouldn't have to do it alone. I'm glad you are getting help and that you are feeling better. I hope things continue to improve for you. - Sandy

In April I was diagnosed with pneumonia and given an antibiotic - I didn't mind going back to my GP explaining I still couldn't breathe and still wasn't feeling well. I took a few days off of work because I felt worn out. The next month I was diagnosed with BC. For whatever reason, I was determined not to take any time off and not complain when I wasn't feeling well. I can handle the physical side of this disease quite well, it's the emotional part that is so very difficult. I have always felt that we should be able to handle our own problems without requesting assistance. Asking for help might be a sign of weakness? I don't know. My onc gave me an Rx for xanax at my last appt. I'm trying to get up the courage to ask him for another one Tuesday at my next appt. with him. I recognize it is my own weakness and pride getting in the way. Both my onc and GP are willing to prescribe meds for anxiety, I just hate to admit that I could use them once in a while. It's like admitting that this whole BC thing is getting the best of me, and I'm too tired to fight back sometimes. Ginney, I've read a number of your posts. I really admire your attitude and determination. You are going through such a tough time and you just seem to do it so well. Good luck to you - Sandy

Wow: I can sure identify with all of you.... I thought I was handling things really well when I was dx'ed and had bilat in May. Was upbeat and happy etc. But, then I started getting anxiety attacks and couldn't sleep at night. Doc put me on Effexor and anxiety attacks subsided...still have strange sleeps and in the past several months have noticed that I am becoming forgetful of where I put things... I have 'lost' two credit cards.. and have them replaced... I am trying to 'coast' and take things easy..not get too upset about things. Tonight I decided I couldn't put off doing my laundry any longer... I had 5 loads and there is only me!!!! and I mean full loads... I got accepted into grad school just before my dx and started my first course in Sept. just after completing rads and starting tamox. I had the prof from hell but I was stubborn enough and hung in there...didn't get the grade I should have but I am proud of myself anyways. Just started my second class a few weeks ago. Still not back to work... have exchange surgery Feb. 28. By the time I go back to work I will have been off for 1 year. I don't know how I could handle work and everything else. I do believe that the work will be very stressful for me.

gsg, now that is funny.

I just got an email from one of my daughters that said she was going to be about an hour away from us on the weekend of Feb. 3 (I think..need to reread the email). She said she may come Saturday evening after their meeting and visit us and leave Sunday. She said DON'T BOTHER TO CLEAN..yeah, sure! I responded and said I'd start right now. LOL
Shirley