Prognosis

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Aaussiegal
Aaussiegal Member Posts: 4
edited December 2017 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

Do these feelings of despair ever go away? I've finished the bulk of my treatment. To be honest I'm not confident about surviving. It's gotten to a point where it consumes my thoughts constantly. Everything seems negative, a positive node, an ALMOST complete response, lymph vascular invasion, grade 3 and being in my early 30's. Everything points to a poor prognosis. Love to hear other stories.

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  • dtad
    dtad Member Posts: 2,323
    edited December 2017

    Hi there. So sorry you have to be here but welcome. We all completely understand how you feel at this point of the process. Has your doc given you exact stats on your recurrence rate? What type of surgery and treatment did you have? It would be really helpful if you made your stats public so we can better answer your questions. We are all here for you. Good luck and keep us posted.

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  • VL22
    VL22 Member Posts: 851
    edited December 2017

    Sorry you feel so overwhelmed- I really think we all do at some point. If you feel that you can’t function, maybe you should look into counseling? Because the truth is, none of us can predict who will have to face this beast again. You do all you can and then you don’t have control of the disease. However, you can gain control of your life, because the truth is that you’re still here and have the opportunity to really make the most of each day. And statistics are just that - you’re a statistic of one.

    I’ve also gotten myself knotup in fear and negativity, but I’ve moved beyond it for myself and my family. This is my favorite time of the year - why should I enjoy it any less? I’m here!

    Please seek some help if you don’t think you can move on alone. Medication may also be a benefit. Good luck and keep us posted!

    Hugs

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  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited December 2017

    AG, Give yourself some time. You have to go through it to get to the other side. If you need to have a pity party now and then, go ahead. If it becomes a daily thing, then maybe you need to seek outside help. I think it's "normal" to have these feelings. Maybe a live support group would be helpful for you. I found journalling to be helpful. We are done with treatment, we look up and the rest of the world is going about their business, our friends and family are happy for us and then we realize that somehow we aren't really done... we are not warned that it takes a mental and emotional toll also. I think it took me about 18 months to finally feel like myself again. I journalled today that I was so happy that I could finally feel good about making plans for the future and not think twice about it. You'll get there. ((HUGS))

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited December 2017

    When you are nearing the end of treatment, it is totally normal to crash. You've been on a state of high alert ever since diagnosis, and it's when you come up for air, that's when it really hits you. I know experts say that however long you were in treatment, it takes you that long again to feel 'normal'. I would say to double that time. I couldn't even think about what happened for about a year, then spent a summer walking and walking and thinking and thinking. Everyone figures out what works best for them, what I did was to keep as busy as possible, and I exercised like crazy; which is what helped me the most. If you are busy doing interesting, challenging, fun (or even complicated or hard) activities, then eventually a day will come when you realize that you haven't thought about cancer for an hour, then a day......and you will be very surprised! If your feelings are so intense that you have trouble functioning, then it is really smart to seek out medical help, sooner than later.

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  • Aaussiegal
    Aaussiegal Member Posts: 4
    edited December 2017

    Thank you. Have made them public now. He hasn’t gone into specifics regarding reoccurrence rates. He gave me an empty 89% survival rate and said we still aim to cure but I feel like that’s him being overly optimistic.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited December 2017

    The thing is.....everyone is either 100% or zero....... if you have done everything medically advised and made life style changes as needed (lost weight if necessary, up the exercise, limit alcohol etc. etc.)..... then that is all that you can do. If is doesn't recur (and it shouldn't if we have done all of the above), then you'll have wasted all that time worrying for nothing.....and if, heaven forbid, it does; well then my thought is that I better be out there making memories for others and doing all the things that I want to do for me NOW!!!

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  • VL22
    VL22 Member Posts: 851
    edited December 2017

    ruthbru - so well said!!

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  • Aaussiegal
    Aaussiegal Member Posts: 4
    edited December 2017

    Thanks ladies. I realised I had a huge mental crash due to starting the Tamoxifen, my GP said it’s a pretty usual occurrence. I feel a little better, but I’m definitely going to get some counselling after Christmas. I’m already on medication for depression and anxiety. I don’t want to worrying about stuff I can’t control or let this situation control my life, I just can’t switch it off.

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  • pupmom
    pupmom Member Posts: 5,068
    edited December 2017

    It took me about 2 years to deal with the fear. I did get counseling which helped. Anyway, for the last few years I rarely think about cancer, unless I'm on these boards, lol. But even here I do not feel the previous terror. It's what a cancer dx does to us, but time will heal.

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  • Hariry
    Hariry Member Posts: 138
    edited December 2017

    My tears just ran down, randomly, in the first week. My DH has been struggled with panic attacks since the diagnosis. We are better off, now... with lots more time to pray, to talk to each other, to leave it to our doctor to manage

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