We Just Found Out Last Week

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TucsonBill
TucsonBill Member Posts: 12
edited December 2017 in Just Diagnosed

I am posting on behalf of my wife, (her English is good but not perfect).

I guess you could say this was not a total surprise as two of her sisters have been treated for breast cancer and seem to be doing well.

She first noticed a hard lump developing under the skin above her right breast about 3 weeks ago and went in for her free annual mammogram at a walk in clinic. Her last mammogram about a year ago showed nothing and this is a pretty large mass it turns out. Our PCP thought it was probably a fibroid as did the technicians who followed up with the ultrasound and biopsy. The results came back as saying there were cancer cells. Our PCP referred us to a surgeon, Dr. Vanessa Roeder here in Tucson. As far as I can tell, she seems competent. My wife is scheduled for an MRI tomorrow morning, (Monday, Nov 27) and then we meet with the surgeon for the first time on Friday.

This is all so unfair. I was a smoker for over 40 years and only recently quit and have not followed a healthy diet. My wife has always been good and this happens to her - it should be me with the cancer and not her.

I came hoping to get some advice as to how to support her and help her cope. All I know to do is try to show her how very very much I love her with all my heart and let her know I will do everything I can to help in any way I can. From now on all our meals are going to be low carb and breast cancer friendly. Today I read all about getting her on a good diet for breast cancer victims. So far I know some of the good foods incude:

turmeric, broccoli, arugula, walnuts, horseradish, flax, cabbage, (especially brussel sprouts), asparagus, kale, garlic, watercress, carrots, salmon, shiitake mushrooms, fish eggs, prunes, sweet potatoes & (sour) cherries / tart cherry juice, raspberries, & green tea. All of her meat needs to be organic, without added hormones.

Tonite I'm making her a turmeric chicken with (miracle / shirataki) rice recipe with shiitake mushrooms and for desert sugar free raspberry Jello 1-2-3 with fresh raspberries. She loves green tea so I found a good sugar free type and tested it with a bit of tart cherry juice mixed in and she liked that pretty well. We have both been taking Centrum Silver and to that I have added D/D3 and a salmon oil supplement for her.

We are also worried about the financial costs. Our Obamacare really sucks. We pay about $550 a month and have a $6,000 deductible before the insurance even pays a dime. We have already used up all but about $700 of our HSA and the lab wants us to pay over $600, (50%), up front for the MRI - and we have not even seen the surgeon yet. It's scary.

I know that people donate hundreds of millions if not billions to all these breast cancer charities. Do any of them actually provide financial aid to the victims or do they all just keep the money for themselves?

Prayers and good vibes sent our way would be greatly appreciated.


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  • Michelle_in_cornland
    Michelle_in_cornland Member Posts: 1,689
    edited November 2017

    Since we are at the beginning of December, she probably won't have surgery until January, with all of the Holidays. That means that most of her surgeries, treatments, and other expenses will be on next year's plan. I would be good to keep it all on the same calendar year and pay one out of pocket, one deductible. There is still time to look for other insurance, before December 15th. A family of four can make up to $97,000 net income, and still get a subsidy. Blue Cross Blue Shield has some pretty terrific plans with $750 deductible, and a $7,500 out of pocket. Out of pocket does not mean that insurance companies won't pay anything towards treatment before meeting that threshhold and they tend to be more lenient with cancer. Each cancer center has its own fundraisers and donations to help offset patient expenses, when applicable. You will have to provide tax documentation, most likely, to make sure you are eligible.

    One in eight women get breast cancer, 1% of all living persons in the USA have or have had breast cancer. A city the size of Los Angeles represents the approximate number of people that are living with breast cancer today, in the US.

    Your wife's medical oncologist, MO, will give her a protocol to follow which may include seeing a dietitian. Alcohol consumption is not recommended.

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  • TucsonBill
    TucsonBill Member Posts: 12
    edited November 2017

    Michelle:

    Thanks for taking the time to reply. I am surprised to hear the surgery may not be until next year. I myself had cancer in 1995 and the doctors were anxious to move as quickly as possible before the cancer spread. I guess maybe things have changed.

    With regards to the insurance, my wife and I together make about $50,000 a year total, which certainly does not go as far as it used to, especially with our youngest child just starting at the University of Arizona this year. My wife gets insurance through her employer and it has a $6,000 deductible per person and they take about $260 bi-weekly from my wife's paycheck - it covers us and two of our children under the age of 26. Between the premiums and the deductible the cost averages over $1,000 a month and before the insurance pays a dime. We looked into the Arizona version of a subsidy last year and were told that the cut off as far as income goes was $40,000 a year and that was when our daughter was 17, now she's 18. She also works part time and earns about $800 a month now but she uses that for food and gas mostly, she lives in the dorm. We surely would not expect her to help especially since she's not even living at home anymore, but they would count her income I think because we claimed her as a dependent last year and probably will this year as well.

    As I said, our HSA is about used up and we only have about $3000 in savings and a lot of credit card debt already. It's been pretty hard for us just to keep up with life's normal expenses much less something like this.

    I suppose the surgeon will probably have some ideas for us here in the State of Arizona but if anyone else has any ideas, we'd sure appreciate it.

    Thanks Again!

    TucsonBill

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  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited November 2017

    Check with your oncology office - often they have a patient assistance fund - mine does, it is specifically designed to help with this situation. Below are some links to other sources of financial assistance. You could also set up a GoFundMe page and friends and family could donate.

    https://www.pinkfund.org/

    https://thepinkfund.wordpress.com/2011/04/18/where-to-find-financial-assistance/

    https://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/FinancialResources.html

    https://www.cancercare.org/financial/information

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  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited November 2017

    Bill, I'm so sorry. I have nothing to add to SpecialK's post on finances and wish you the best on that aspect of this long journey. Cooking for your wife is terrific. In general of course, the best thing you can do for her is listen. This is a scary road sometimes with lots of ups and downs. Post the MRI results if your wife is ok with that and we'll try to help answer questions.

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  • TucsonBill
    TucsonBill Member Posts: 12
    edited November 2017

    SpecialK:

    That is some great information. Even if we don't qualify, (which we may not because of 401(k)'s), it's wonderful to know that there actually are organizations out there that actually help the victims. My wife and I agreed long ago to be very, very careful about our tithes/offerings/donations etc to always make SURE AS WE CAN that what we give actually goes to help real people in need. You'd be surprised at the number of "charities" who's salaries and expenses rise to meet income and do little to actually help people; it's a shame. Go fund me is an option I knew about but had not considered. I'd have to think about that one; I'm not sure and I'm also not sure how my wife would feel about reaching out to friends and family who are mostly in the same boat we are financially :/

    Thanks for sharing the information with me.

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  • TucsonBill
    TucsonBill Member Posts: 12
    edited November 2017

    Hi Georgia1 and thank you.

    I've done most of the cooking for my family for 30+ years now. My wife and I have an agreement: I cook and she does the laundry, (because I have a nasty habit of ruining clothes and she has a nasty habit of ruining pots & pans along with the food!). It's actually kind of fun for learning some new recipes. I went shopping today and stocked up on stuff I think she'll be needing on a new diet. I'm sorta just going by what I can find on the internet right now but I'll be sure and run it by the doctors too.

    Right now we've just been trying to keep our minds on other things. If either of us dwells on her condition and what the future may or may not hold, it just makes us both afraid and want to cry. I don't know really what point there is in being fearful and crying, but I have also read that its not good to bury those feelings. I think we may need some counseling. We both have these "employee assistance" programs where we work and can maybe seek some help there. This is all new right now - and we're trying to understand how to cope.

    Thanks again.

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  • TucsonBill
    TucsonBill Member Posts: 12
    edited December 2017

    Hi again Georgia1. You had asked me to post the MRI results and we just met with the surgeon for the first time yesterday.

    The letter says there is a 2.5 x 2.1 x 2.8 oval enhancing mass in the 12:00 position in the right breast. It goes on to say the margins of the mass are smooth and macrolobulated The MRI detected another "suspicious" mass that was undetected by the mammogram behind the right breast nipple, irregularly shaped with partially indistinct margins measuring 0.9 x 0.5 x 1.4 cm. The enhancement is rapid with type II and type III kinetics - (whatever that means... I guess I should have asked).

    Bottom line the doctor said that before she can recommend anything specific we need to get a second biopsy on the newly found suspicious mass. She said that the reason for this was because it could represent a situation where she would want to do some chemotherapy before surgery if it was a "bad actor". If not my wife may have the option of having the other mass removed as opposed to a mastectomy if the edges were all smooth and the doctor was pretty sure the cancer had not spread. My wife seems to think it may be safer just to have the mastectomy because two of her sisters did, (two of 4 sisters, her parents had 5 girls).

    I feel kind of weird as a guy posting this but it's because my wife's English is not so great and I have to help explain things to her. Right now it seems like she is taking all this better than I am but I also know she keeps a lot of her feelings inside. I want to stand by her and support her as much as I can. I love her with all my heart and soul and wish so badly that this were me instead of her...

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  • TucsonBill
    TucsonBill Member Posts: 12
    edited December 2017

    Hi again Georgia1. You had asked me to post the MRI results and we just met with the surgeon for the first time yesterday.

    The letter says there is a 2.5 x 2.1 x 2.8 oval enhancing mass in the 12:00 position in the right breast. It goes on to say the margins of the mass are smooth and macrolobulated The MRI detected another "suspicious" mass that was undetected by the mammogram behind the right breast nipple, irregularly shaped with partially indistinct margins measuring 0.9 x 0.5 x 1.4 cm. The enhancement is rapid with type II and type III kinetics - (whatever that means... I guess I should have asked).

    Bottom line the doctor said that before she can recommend anything specific we need to get a second biopsy on the newly found suspicious mass. She said that the reason for this was because it could represent a situation where she would want to do some chemotherapy before surgery if it was a "bad actor". If not my wife may have the option of having the other mass removed as opposed to a mastectomy if the edges were all smooth and the doctor was pretty sure the cancer had not spread. My wife seems to think it may be safer just to have the mastectomy because two of her sisters did, (two of 4 sisters, her parents had 5 girls).

    I feel kind of weird as a guy posting this but it's because my wife's English is not so great and I have to help explain things to her. Right now it seems like she is taking all this better than I am but I also know she keeps a lot of her feelings inside. I want to stand by her and support her as much as I can. I love her with all my heart and soul and wish so badly that this were me instead of her...

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