Scared to death

Thank you so much for the update. Good news about it likely being early stage and no lymph node involvement. We will all think good thought for you and please remind your girls that if caught early this is totally treatable. Let us know about your results if you feel like sharing, and do make them give you a copy of the biopsy report.

Most of all I wish you the best for Thanksgiving, time with your family, and good news soon.

Waiting and not knowing is the worst. I don't even know what to do with myself sometimes. I'm scared. My husband works in another province and just last week shortly after he got home for days off I found the mass. I don't want to call it a lump because it's so weird and big! I have been having really painful swollen lymph nodes in my armpits for the past few months, on the side of the mass mostly. I shrugged it off at first, stopped using deodorant thinking maybe it was irritating them. It's not always the same lymphnode but they will get big, really sore for about a week and then it goes down and a different one will flare up. The last one was huge, finally made me wonder if there was more going on. Ive never really examined my breasts, silly me. They are very small and deflated,lol. I'm almost 44, breastfed 3 babies and being nearly flat chested it never crossed my mind that I could get breast cancer. After my bath last weekend I was standing in front of the mirror and realized my left breast was noticeablely larger than the right. I started feeling around and realized that underneath between my ribs and the normal breast tissue is a very large mass. It's solid, somewhat oval shaped but not really, it's hard to explain the shape. It's somewhat movable but seems to move the rest of the breast around with it when it's moved. It is not painful at all. The armpit lumps are though. I went to the doctor on Tuesday ( found it Sunday night), she didn't seem to care how worried I was, I left the office wanting to scream at someone, I just want to know now what's going on! My mammogram and ultrasound aren't happening until December 1st, still almost another week! And then I have to wait for the results of that. I'm going out of my mind worrying. I have a really bad feeling about this. I've also been feeling unwell the past few months. Always extremely tired and get have been having dizzy spells, almost fainting, blacking out, blurred vision. And I've had a chill, really cold all the time, extra blankets on the bed. Honestly I wish doctors could put themselves in our shoes and try a bit harder to speed this process up! My husband knows what's going on. I was so upset I had to tell him, he's been very supportive and try's to keep me positive. But he needs to go back to work next week. And I'll be alone! For the tests, the results. Cell service is terrible on their job site, sometimes days go by when he can't call home. I don't want to tell my Mom or sister or my kidswhat's going on until I know what's going on but it really sucks not being able to talk to someone about this. I It's terrifying. The thoughts going through my head all day. That's why I thought I'd post here, just to put it into words. Better than keeping these feeling inside. I'm scared. I don't want to die.

Hi Aimee, I’m sorry you find yourself here but this is a great place for support. Most of us find the initial testing, waiting and uncertainty the hardest. I understand not wanting to worry your mom and sisters. My best girlfriends were there from the start. We’ve been each other’s rock at one time or another. This time it was my turn. They would have been really upset with me if I hadn’t included them from the start. Since your husband won’t be there for the testing and results please pick someone you trust to tell and to go with you. Remember your not diagnosed with anything at this point. It’s a process attack one thing at a time and celebrate each victory. Wishing you peace and benign results. You can do this!

take some Kleenex with you. it hit me mid biopsy....wished I had my own. The nurses was there though holding my hand while got myself back together.

Hugs. Anyone going with you?

Ice it however they instructed you too, and try to get some rest. Try not to bump your breast if you can help it.

Hang in there, hon! Those of us fighting this disease have been where you are. For me it's been 2 months since my diagnosis. I'm Stage 2..I won't know about lymph node involvement til after my surgery, which is tomorrow. Yikes!

Anyway, please keep us informed about your biopsy results. We're here for you. Tons of great info here.

I hope this week goes quickly and you get b-9 news!!!

Confused about what you're asking for. Which procedures? Most of us have been through different procedures, so please clarify! Also, I still don't see your diagnosis line filled out, so that makes everything even more confusing.

shyann30101. I am in same position as you only they can't schedule my biopsy until 12-14 so will be days after that for results I like you have researched this issue every since my call back letter that made me wait two weeks for diagnostic mammo and now weeks for biopsy so by the time I get results I will have researched a ton about the breast cancer and b-9 breast conditions I feel confidant that since there is 80 percent chance we are b9 the odds are in our favor

I think waiting for diagnose and discussing with dr procedures available for whatever the diagnose is and getting second opinion if we feel need is way to go as procedures will be very different and choices very different depending on so many factors but I like you have studied everything I feel I could take a test at school for breast cancer and at least pass and if I am benign I will certainly be more aware and more compassionate of bc patients in the future so know you are not the only one studying and going crazy but try to breathe easier said than done. bighugs and I hope you get b9 results

Hi Shyann. Before I respond I'm just restating your question so others new to this thread can help. I think you had a suspicious ultrasound, then a biopsy with results unknown, and you expect to get the findings on Monday.

Without those results it is really hard to think through treatment options, so I hope you can divert yourself this weekend with fun activities or some kind of prep that doesn't drive you crazy with "what ifs." Speaking only for myself, I knew from the ultrasound that the mass was pretty small, but that's all I knew. But I figured any kind of surgery would limit the use of one arm. So I went out in the yard and did a ton of gardening, which made me feel I was mentally preparing for a cancer diagnosis and surgery, while also giving me some relief from the stress.

As to my decision, I opted for lumpectomy and radiation. I've only finished day five of RADS but so far it is much, much easier than I expected. I did not choose masectomy, but I understand that yes you can have reconstruction at the same time.

I don't know if that helps at all! But we've all been in your shoes and sympathize with the pain of waiting. Thinking good thoughts for you and hoping your results are benign.

Happy to help. Hang in there.