Just got the news

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AnxietyGirl85
AnxietyGirl85 Member Posts: 74
edited November 2017 in Just Diagnosed

I just got back from the clinic, I went in for the biopsy results, feeling reasonably hopeful after being told that it wasn't urgent at all and to just come in whenever I could.

All I know is that it's invasive ductal carcinoma. I don't know anything more than that, not how big it is, not what stage it is, just that it's there.

The doctor is putting in an urgent referral for a surgeon, so that I won't have to wait much longer (it's already been 7 weeks since my first trip to the doctor about this), I'm hoping for a call today and an appointment very soon.

I'm numb, my head is spinning, this is not what I was expecting to deal with at 32, just as I'm finally getting my life in order.

Besides all my fears for myself, I'm worried about how to tell my mom. She lives on the other side of the country, I'm in a big city all alone, and it's a month before Christmas. How do I tell her that I have cancer?? :(

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  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited November 2017

    Oh, I am so sorry. We have all been in that situation and it is just so overwhelming. But you can do this.

    As a practical matter, if they didn't give you a copy of the biopsy report, please call them as soon as you can and get them to email it to you. It will contain some helpful information to ground you, and to help answer some of the questions your mom will ask. Then on when and how you tell her, that's completely up to you. It's a scary time, so you know best the timing that will work for both of you. And please don't worry about the seven-week lag. Breast cancer does not grow fast, so despite all the scary words being thrown around you have time to talk to your surgeon, learn more, and then get a second opinion if you feel you need that. And of course if you have any questions along the way we are here for you.

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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited November 2017

    ((Hugs)) It will get better, I promise! I waited to tell my Mom until I had a treatment plan in place. She also lives across the country from me. My Mom and I have different ways of handling things. She's prone to long, weepy phone calls. I decided that I didn't want to spend my time comforting her, so I informed my Mom of my cancer via email. I told her that I would appreciate supportive emails, letters, and cards, but not phone calls.

    You know your Mom best. Will she be a comfort or will she require comforting? Can she help you, or is she too busy to do more than send you cards and emails? I essentially managed my cancer myself, with help from my husband and some friends who live nearby.

    Again, ((Hugs)). 32 is young but cancer sucks and doesn't care.


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  • Leatherette
    Leatherette Member Posts: 448
    edited November 2017

    Anxietygirl, so sorry you are in this boat. It is hard to know how to tell the important people in your life. Are you really all alone in the big city? Do you have good friends, or even newish friends that you can tell are good people? Maybe tell some friends first and see how you do.

    That said, if you feel you need to tell your mom right away because you need her support, there is no one right time or right way to tell her. You have cancer, and you need to focus on what you need to get through this.

    Best to you, and I hope you get details on your diagnosis soon so you have a better idea of what to expect.



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  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited November 2017

    I am so sorry that you got the IDC report. I hope that you are able to receive support from your Mother even though it will be long distance. We will be here to help

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited November 2017

    I also had IDC. It has amazed me thought that have gone above and beyond for support and thought that mean well. But for my own mental state I have had to cut out or limit ongoing details.

    All I can say it that you are first. You can not risk your health or energy on those that are not supportive in the way you need it.

    So call your mom, just tell her when you are ready. My mom has medical issues that gives her a mental balance if a 12 year old. She worries about everyone, gets things mixed up and then some. It has blown me away that she has had the ability to support when I had know idea she mentally could. And those I thought would be there has pushed Hologic crap down my throut. You just never know how anyone will react until they are there.

    Hugs. We are here when you need us.

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  • Chips530
    Chips530 Member Posts: 35
    edited November 2017

    I was given the diagnois of IDC in Sept.,on the phone from my medical Doctor's PA.I was home alone(except for the dog) & I think I went into a million pieces.I am divorced,have no siblings,& parents have passed.I am so glad I found this forum where I could talk with other ladies who had been through the same things.

    I am a recovering Alcoholic(22 years),so I know how important a belief in a "higher power" & a good support system can be.It's amazing how much love & concern I have gotten from friends that I have shared with for they ALL understand what pain & anxiety & fear of the unknown feels like.

    I have had a Lumpectomy & the 2 wks, later,an ex-cision,now will start radiation

    I have found that the more knowledge I get about my disease,the more power I feel I have.

    I am very respectful of privacy,so if anyone wants to contact me with "private message" that is fine.We can all get through this together !!!

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  • DownNotOut
    DownNotOut Member Posts: 99
    edited November 2017

    AnxietyGirl85

    Sorry to meet you & all you others this way. I, too was just diagnosed this month with IDC 1.2cmx0.9cm & underwent lumpectomy with SNB 8 days ago. Surgeon took a lot out of my breast and 5 nodes - wondering if tumor really bigger? Except for "clear borders" I still am awaiting the path report. So frustrating with the holiday it will be another 5 days before I have a real Dx - stage, etc. Planning on radiation for 5 weeks after 1 month for postoperative healing. Then tamoxifen for 5 years saysmy surgeon. I have no idea how to find a RO or arrange for that, much less find a nutritionist or get a baseline cardiac workup (reading about CV complication risk 10-15 yrs after tx). Do I need a RO plus regular oncologist? Sending sample for genomic testing to see if chemo also needed. How long does that take? How can I get it all arranged to begin in 3 weeks with full time job & 4 kids? Glad husband can cook;)


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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited November 2017

    HI DownandOut, take a deep breath! :) Hugs, it will come together. You will have an MO and RO, they do differnet things but work together as a team. I met with an RO even though there was no indications I would need rads. It was just to be sure everyone was on the same page.

    I had a navigator that help cordinate most appointments. My breast surgens office scheduled the MO and RO appointments though. You do not need to really worry about anything before starting rads. That will be first from the sounds of it. When you meet with the MO, ask if the oncotype test is a good fit for you. If it is, it will then be ordered. It can take 2-3 weeks to get those results. That will only give you info on if chemo is needed. If you are not early stage cancer (and a few other requirements) you will not get the oncotype test. Its not beneficial for certain types and stages.

    Right now, focus on preparing for rads. There are some great threads on here with tips and tricks to make it a smoother process.

    As you gain more info, you can add it to the bottom of your posts and it will help us follow along. Hugs! Enjoy this time, its about to get busy. Maybe get some fozen dinners in the freezer, do some deep cleaning. The stuff you put off in "normal" life. ;)

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  • ps0705
    ps0705 Member Posts: 122
    edited November 2017

    Hi Downnotout.

    I also just got diagnosed. Love that you mentioned your husband can cook! Mine cooks pasta and can order take out ;)

    I only have 2 kids and a full time job and am finding it impossible to us and get anything done.

    You have the same questions I have about how to get your treatment organized. Hopefully those answers come to you quickly.

    Hugs

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  • DownNotOut
    DownNotOut Member Posts: 99
    edited November 2017

    I met with BS for 2week postop lumpectomy/SNB visit. Great news...all 5 nodes were clear and margins were clear after she took a bit more on 2 sides during lumpectomy. I am so thankful. She said tumor was just under 2cm, well formed and obvious". So I think that makes me IDC stage 1, 0/5 nodes, stage 2? Concerned about swelling, slight redness, still oh so tender breast and nipple. A seroma has formed for sure. She is giving me Abx just in case of infection (doubts) but I am concerned I may have early breast lymphedema. In addition, although I have great range of motion in my arm and shoulder, I am having almost constant, at times intense pain over my shoulder blade/back of arm on that side (feels "nervy" and achy) and my upper arm circumference is 2 cm bigger than it was preop. Should I be concerned about lymphedema?

    Narrowing down my choices for MO & RO, and radiation location. So grateful I have some good choices. I don't have a cancer navigator person, so I'm kind of on my own with the arrangements. Wondering if I should see a certified lymphedema specialist just for an evaluation? Any thoughts or is it just too soon to expect less swelling and pain?

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  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited November 2017

    DownNotOut, good news! Clean margins and no lymph node involvement is terrific. You should have a pathology report soon, which will have good info to plan next steps. I had arm pain and nerve tingling in my hand after my lumpectomy. My surgeon said doing the recommended exercises would help and they really did! If you didn't get instructions for that just google "exercises after beast cancer surgery" and hopefully you will find some: just simple arm raises at first. I did not have any swelling so can't help you there, but if you get in with an RO or MO they can help with the diagnosis.

    PS0705, your local hospital should have a radiology department which is a good place to start as you are developing a care team. If you are in a larger city, a hospital with a breast cancer center is best.

    Good luck to all. This is the hardest time but you can do it!

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  • ToughCookie101
    ToughCookie101 Member Posts: 191
    edited November 2017

    Hi AnxietyGirl, sorry about the news. I am 33 and was diagnosed two weeks ago with IDC. I then got dumped by my coward then boyfriend. I am getting bits and pieces of info about my diagnosis as test results come in but also have minimal info.

    I know it is hard telling family. My dad lives near me but we lost my mom suddenly this past June. She was a 7 year breast cancer survivor (she died from something unrelated). My dad saw my mom go through it and after loosing her I had no idea how I was going to tell him and my brother. They had been through so much this year. But they have been so supportive. Scared I’m sure but supportive.

    I am only two weeks out from diagnosis but the more I know the easier it gets. Hang in there! Keep copies of reports and do what you need to do. Be selfish now. If you want to tell your mom now do. Sending positive vibes!!

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited November 2017

    I found a physical therapist that specilizes in ld and getting full range of motion after surgery. My regret is not looking for her sooner. I don't know that you have ld, sounds to me like just normal swelling. But they can get measurements, teach you what to do to prevent it in the first place.

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