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daughter00
daughter00 Member Posts: 8
edited November 2017 in Just Diagnosed

I guess I shouldn't be critical...but that seems to be the case right now. I posted about waiting for results for my mom with only a couple of responses. I updated as I waited with no additional responses. Updated we had results and they were positive for cancer for her...still no responses. Even just one or two would have been encouraging, even if generic....so we will go forward on our own. I read and learned a lot, I thank you for that.

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  • Icietla
    Icietla Member Posts: 1,265
    edited November 2017

    I am so sorry about your Mom's diagnosis. Just now we are not clear on what type is her breast cancer. Please let us know when you all are clear on its classification (Ductal; Lobular; Both; or Ductal with Lobular characteristics), Grade, and its IHC characteristics (this would be the findings as to Estrogen and Progesterone receptors, and also HER2Neu over/expression) -- the Pathology Report on her biopsied tissue will cover all these things--, and we will be able to tell you generally what to expect with her treatment. We will also be able to point you to discussion groups here with commonality.

    I know this is a very anxious time for you and all the waiting and wondering times seem to pass only very slowly. You will soon have a treatment plan for her, and you and she will feel much better then, and her treatment will move right along.

    We care very much.

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  • Icietla
    Icietla Member Posts: 1,265
    edited November 2017

    Did she meet with her Surgeon?

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  • daughter00
    daughter00 Member Posts: 8
    edited November 2017

    definately understand the community is not clear on the kind, prognosis etc...mainly bc I havent shared bc I guess when I posted "she might have" and then "she has...but we will know more tomorrow" I may get at least one additional repsonse of encouragement. Why would I share those details if it seems no one cares? May be because people assume those waiting for answers fall in the 70% who end up negative?

    That wasn't my mom's case. I hoped by starting to post prior to result I would gain some support. I was pretty sure it was positive at that point and stated that. I got one response (other than the generic moderator drived "oh this was a first time post"). To the one person who responded to my original post in the waiting for results section...thank you. I didnt expect a ton of comments but thought sharing there was a positive diagnosis would get some sort of respone.

    Sorry for the negativity (although in a community setting i shouldnt have to apologize) I will spend my time searching out others that have had minimal resonses and letting them know they are not alone.

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  • Icietla
    Icietla Member Posts: 1,265
    edited November 2017

    I assure you, we care very much, and we are sorry we have disappointed you. We are very sorry about her diagnosis, and we hope to support you and her through this experience.

    I am usually unable to participate so much as today. Two nights a week -- after my shots -- I am awake for a good while. Mostly I sleep. Otherwise I mostly rest. It is because of other illness, not my cancer nor its treatment.

    Sometimes -- but not nearly always -- the tumor size indications from medical imaging are different from actual tumor size. Your Mom's Stage will be determined from the Pathology Lab's studies of the tissues to be removed in her treatment surgery. Before then, you may be informed of her Clinical Staging, which is really a guesstimate. If her tumor type is not one of the more aggressive types, surgery will probably be the first step in her treatment plan.

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  • Icietla
    Icietla Member Posts: 1,265
    edited November 2017

    You are very thoughtful and kind to give comfort to others here.

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited November 2017

    Hello Daughter, you certainly do not have to share the specifics regarding your mom. I had not seen any of your posts until this one tonight. You have quite a few responses on your first post. Maybe you are not familar with forums? As people post their own threads yours "moves down". Unless someone comes in with the time to scroll through a lot of posts, it may just not be seen. It is not a lack of people caring.

    For me personally, I stay away from the "waiting for results" thread. I found myself going there often when I first joined the club. Now, its just too emotional for me. I know too well the stress and anxiety. I HATE seeing people be told not too worry---they very easily could be in the 95% or what ever it is that will be b9. At this point, you may understand this---statistics mean nothing once you join the club. Once someone moves over to the "just dx", then I read. If I feel like I can be of any help I share. If I have zero knowledge of what they are going through I move on. I don't know what to tell them cause I have not been in their shoes, ie higher stage dx.

    Again, I am sorry you feel like there was a lack of support. We are certianly here if you wish to ask questions or gain knowledge. I opened this thread because it was at the top, not because I had any idea what the topic was. Your mom needs support. This place is FULL of women and family that are fighting together. We ALL have our own strugles and issues. We are all here because we want to, because we know what it is like to get that call. We also know that a lot of people do not get that call, something most of us will never be able to relate to. I hope your mom joins or finds the forum as well, the amount of information and knowledge is huge and not worth avoiding.

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