Just got worse

Mamatwoboys
Mamatwoboys Member Posts: 22
edited November 2017 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

I was told I had breast cancer.

Then I was told I have Stage 3C Invasive ductal Carcinoma triple negative.

Now the PET scan came back... and they found little specks ... one on liver, and a couple in my bones. Not big enough for CAT scan something. But specks that lit up and they moved me to Stage IV...

I have a husband, 2 sons 4&10 years old, I am 41, no history of any cancer in my family.

How did this happen???

How do I survive?

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited November 2017

    Mama,

    We are so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and progression. We know right now things seem desperate and overwhelming. However, please know, there are many, many members here who have faced your challenge and are thriving today -- there are many options for you to combat this diagnosis and continue living a happy, fulfilling life. We're sure others will be by soon with some encouragement and inspiration. We're all here for you!

    --The Mods

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  • Partyoffive
    Partyoffive Member Posts: 188
    edited November 2017

    mamatwoboys

    You will survive and every day will get easier. I too had no history of cancer and was diagnosed metastatic from the get go with many Bone Mets-41/2 years ago. I’m on the same treatment that I started with and basically lived my life like normal. I’m on tamoxifen and xgeva and have almost no side effects and little to no pain. I have 5 children they were 8,10,13,15,22 when I was diagnosed and in the past four years I have experienced lots of wonderful things. Get a second opinion a third if u feel that’s what u need. Find a dr u trust this is your life they have in their hands and no matter how good your dr is no one cares about your life as much as u do so educate yourself and ask questions. I’m sorry that u are having to deal with this but things will get easier. Good luck and if I want to talk pm me.

    Kristin

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  • intothewoods
    intothewoods Member Posts: 449
    edited November 2017

    Mamatwoboys

    When I was first diagnosed with mets in 2014 all I could think about was my funeral. That lessened with time and I have lived much as I did before. I gets better, it really does especially once you have a plan for treatment. I don't have any children but I know there is a thread, Mothers with School Age Children that you might check out. There is lots of good info and people to support you here.

    Hang in there

    Lisa

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  • Legomaster225
    Legomaster225 Member Posts: 672
    edited November 2017

    Sorry Mamatwo, I know it so hard right now but it is NOT hopeless. You will pick yourself up, get through the treatments and keep loving those two boys. Everyone of us here asks the question “How did this happen? Why me?" We all want that answer but we can't fix that so we move in the only direction we can and that is forward. It is ok to be sad, angry, fearful, but try not to let it consume you. Once you have a treatment plan in place you will feel better and more in control. There are many treatment options for IV. You and your team of doctors will find the one that works best for you. Keeping you in my prayers

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited November 2017

    I was dxd stage IV last year and I can tell you that while scary, chemo can really knock it back, allowing many to live well for years to come. Are you near a good cancer center? I go to MDA in Houston and feel an experienced team (at any hospital)is a great start.

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  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 2,785
    edited November 2017

    Mamatwoboys, welcome. Welcome to the club no one wants to join.

    The answer to the question 'how did this happen' is BAD LUCK. And don't let anyone ever tell you differently. Nothing you did caused this.

    How do you survive? One day at at time. It's a cliche I hate, but in this case it's true. When you start with this diagnosis you are afraid to plan more than a week ahead. As you get used to it, you start realizing that you aren't going to die tomorrow or next week. I now plan a year out. When you respond to the first treatment you'll stay on it a while and realize there are many treatments out there.

    Meantime cry, yell, scream, hug your husband and kids. And if you're having trouble sleeping, ask your doc for sleeping pills. Depressed or anxious? Ask for meds for those. Better living through chemistry. It'll help you get over the hump.

    Once you have a treatment plan, find the thread for that treatment. People will have lots of suggestions on how to live well on that treatment.

    Have a hug from me.

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  • Iwillwinthisbattle
    Iwillwinthisbattle Member Posts: 1,076
    edited November 2017

    Me, too!! What you and all of these ladies have said. Diagnosed stage 4 from the get go. No history, no reason to have bc—but I do. I’ve had 6 years of NED and am now back “in the fight”. It is doable! Keep fighting for what feels right for you. Don’t second guess yourself. Whatever your are feeling/doing is exactly what you should be feeling/doing. ❤️

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  • Mamatwoboys
    Mamatwoboys Member Posts: 22
    edited November 2017

    all of you seem so strong.

    First treatment was Tuesday. Not as scary as I thought. Already made a friend. Have the best, sweetest team of doctors and nurses alive!! Worried tomorrow is my day 3, and I will miss Thanksgiving at my Aunt and Uncles, it isn’t our favorite holiday and favorite place to be... but already feel so... icky.

    Not bad yet, maybe I won’t feel bad bad at all, or maybe it will wait for day 4?? But I feel icky. Hate this feeling.

    But, talking to y’all, finally meeting women and being able to open up, journaling and my Faith in God is finally getting my brain out of the depressed funk. Still feel icky. Blah!!

    How did y’all get so tough, were you always??

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited November 2017

    Mama, I agree with all that everyone said here, especially "One day at a time". You will have bad days when some random thing will set you off or bum you out. But that too shall pass and life becomes a new normal. These women on this site have helped me more than anything else besides my wonderful family. Come back often to check in!

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  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 4,924
    edited November 2017

    "How did y'all get so tough, were you always??"

    Yes, but we didn't know it. Until we had to be.

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  • Pei128
    Pei128 Member Posts: 31
    edited November 2017

    Hi mama, big hugs to you. My mom was also diagnosed Stage IV from the start, and our world pretty much fell apart for a little while. I agree with what has been said here. When the treatment started going, we sort of found a new routine, and a way to live through this "new normal". I'm hoping that now you've started on your treatment plan, you'll find a new routine, and the treatment works for you. Hang in there!

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  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 2,785
    edited November 2017

    Shetland, you are SOOOO right!

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  • AnimalCrackers
    AnimalCrackers Member Posts: 701
    edited November 2017

    you nailed it Shetland

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  • Kjones13
    Kjones13 Member Posts: 1,520
    edited November 2017

    Shetland gets the prize!! First, so sorry you are joining us. The club no one wants to be in...but we need each other to lean on, vent to, cry. There is no other place I feel more connected.

    Just a little bit of hope to share with you—my daughter was 18 months and my son was 8. They are now 6 and 13! I have loved watching them grow!

    It took me a long, long time to get out of the hole I dug for myself, but now that I am back to living, I can honestly say I feel blessed.

    We will be here for you if you need us

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  • Iwillwinthisbattle
    Iwillwinthisbattle Member Posts: 1,076
    edited November 2017

    same story here. No family history, lump found on a routine mammo—quickly diagnosed stage 4, with two young kids. Here is the thing....some days are going to suck and that is okay. Some days are going to be great, and that is okay also. I’ve learned to go with however I feel, but to try to not let the negative feelings hang around too long. This is going to be a long journey. Hang on and try not to anticipate the worst. Hugs!

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