How do you handle answering questions about cancer?

im 4 months down the cancer road. Mastectomy done, chemo started. I've had wound infections, long chemo delays, I've cried so much, prayed to god I see my kids grow up. I've had cording, bone pain, nausea, my hair came out in my hands. I feel fear every day.

But when people ask how I am, especially in the early days I went into super positive fight mode. I don't cry in front of people. As I go further down the road I still try present a positive front, I smile, I joke, I do as much as I can. But if people ask about drugs, side effects etc I tell them the truth. I tell them about bone pain, nausea etc. I don't pink wash anymore. I tell friends there is no guarantee I'll be cured. I tell them hormone therapy will also have aide effects. I don't whine, I just say it because its fact, same way I'd say water is wet. But sometimes I feel people don't want to know, they want me to say its OK, no problem, I'm kicking its ass etc

I feel very lonely. I was just starting to make friends in our town and their lives continue on while mine feels derailed. I meet them sometimes or have contact but I feel separate from them. I don't belong

How do you communicate with people? Does anyone else feel on the outside. Im39 with 2 kids under 5. I just don't fit inhere anymore

I tell people that life isn't puppies and rainbows, but I am hanging in there. It's the truth.

Some days i feel more isolated than most too. i've looked at so many threads. and on three pieces of information alone, i lose more people i have in common with. even in this community.

i'm 31, TNBC, and no family of my own.

and that makes treatment incredibly hard. apart from having to explain to everyone around me who doesn't have cancer. It feels very isolating and lonely sometimes.

I'm sorry you are so lonely... Sometimes I feel like I'm on the outside - looking in - at others who are near my age or older - but - have decades of life ahead of them. I'm not sure I will make it to 55 or 60. And, am always scared (like my user name haha).

I've tried to tell as few of people as possible...because I can't stand the pity - it only makes me worse!! Making conversation with people who didn't know about my BC helps me feel normal - even if its just small talk...

I was a little annoyed with my MIL - as she wanted to tell all of DH's side of the family. Because "people want to know...so they can help..."

No I DON'T want people "to know". Its my health and my damn business. There are privacy laws (HIPPA) that the medical folks are required follow and I just expect some common courtesy and common sense from others, not to blab what I consider to be highly private and personal.

I am a private person and don't want my BC be the subject for gossip.

Thanks so much for all the replies. Its an awful disease isn't it. We are all fighting as best we can. Mkn, I'm so sorry you are alone. I hope we can all help you through it in some way. Starting to post on these boards has really helped me

I just reread my original post. I've been having an emotional day today, post chemo slump. I don't tell everyone about side effects etc. Most people I laugh, chat, talk about other stuff to and I put on the brave face. I more meant close friends. None of them live nearby so it tends to be all text communication. I guess I feel lonely. I'm lucky though, I do have a couple of friends who don't flinch when I give them the honest version. I had pretty bad anxiety/pnd that I was really just recovering from then wham, breast cancer.

Somedays are harder than others. I'm grateful I found this forum, its a place where people understand.

I once joked with a friend and co-worker that if anything happened to me, there wouldn't be a person in the building who wouldn't know about it!  I live alone so I need all the support I can get.  When breast cancer did roll into my life, yes, I did let people know.  I didn't do a wig - I wore hats.  Several months after I finished cancer treatment, with my hair growing back, I was in a meeting.  At the end of the meeting, someone asked how I was doing and I mentioned I was thinking of letting the hats go.  They all told me to take off the hat and let's see!  My co-workers were all supportive of me.  Some days, being brave is difficult but keep looking up.  

Is there a breast cancer group in your area?  If not, does your hospital have a support group you can join, or a counselor you can talk to?  Sometimes, it's helpful just to talk to someone who'll listen.  My friends and co-workers were there for me.  They made me laugh and helped me roll with the ups and downs.

Take care!