March 2017 Surgery

Hey everyone:

Great to hear from you all. We are getting on with our lives, which is wonderful.

I am still waiting for my exchange surgery too. I have had my last fills in September and the PS told me I need to wait 3-4 months after the last fill for my exchange therapy. I have returned to work as of Oct 1 in the meantime. I was reluctant to return, but my PS insisted it would be good for my mental health and she was right. I am happy to be back to my routine except that I take things slower and do not let myself become too stressed. Plus, I am quite tired after each work day still. I guess it is the nature of the beast.

I am also now supporting my sister-in-law who was dx with Her2+ BC and is about to start chemo.

walla

Hi ladies! Dafne, after all you went through I am excited you are close to your exchange surgery! While I am not 100% happy with my results it beats the expanders. Good luck everyone. I am trying to just keep it all out of my head. I see my BS this week and have my annual dexascan so of course I have it all on my mind.

Hi, everyone. So glad to hear from those who have responded. Dafne, great good luck with your upcoming exchange on 11/23! I hope and pray everything goes well for you.

2FUN, glad the thyroid issue was benign.

As for me, I had my final exchange (the last of 8 surgeries and nearly 18 months after my initial BMX) on 9/19 and drains came out one week later which, if you know my history with drains, is a freaking miracle. To say I'm unhappy with the results would be an extreme understatement, but as Molly50 pointed out, at least the implants are better than the TEs.

I happened to have my 8-week post-op appointment with my PS this morning as a matter of fact. During the exchange he did a lift on the left to try to get the two sides to match but I'm still ridiculously uneven. I tell people I have clown boobs – meet Bozo and Buttons! I'm currently taking pentoxyfillene both orally and topically that I had to browbeat my PS into prescribing to try to repair some of the radiation/infection damage on the right side in the hope that side will "drop" to more closely match the non-radiated side but it will likely take 45-60 days to start to see any kind of result from that. The PS was impressed that the redness that persisted on the right after the last potential infection has improved quite a bit since I started the meds, though, so I was able to go in there with a bit of an "I told you so" attitude. He said he was happy that I was able to teach him something new, so I guess there's that.

Good luck to all awaiting additional surgeries and glad to hear from everyone.

Thanks, Molly. Sounds like we're in very similar boats. Before the exchange surgery my expectations were so low for a good outcome that I told my PS I didn't even care what I looked like naked - I only wanted to look good in clothes and I didn't even get that. I realize there are many women out there who end up with good results but I'd hazard a guess that there's a much higher percentage of women who are NOT happy, like us. I don't even say I'm a breast cancer survivor anymore - I say I'm a breast reconstruction survivor. While I am thrilled at this point to be cancer- and infection-free, I feel perfectly justified in my unhappiness about having to be mutilated to get there. People who haven't been through it have a difficult time understanding that, I think.

Edited to add: I am getting very good at "smoke and mirrors" so I do look OK in clothes now, at least. Will probably never be able to wear a bathing suit again, but oh well.

I'm in a screw everyone mode today. Wear a swimming suit and be proud that you are surviving this suck-y disease. Everyone around you who sees you will be smiling inside as they think of their mothers, friends who suffered with cancer.

I got a new suit at lands end and wore it to aqua aerobics. I had one boob forward and another to the side, walking hunched over like a 90 year old woman, rather than the 55 I am. Someone asked me about my suit, and I proundly told them. Had a good chat. It was uplifting for me. Be prouder of your body now than you ever were, it is keeping you on this planet to do good things! ....ok, rant over. That felt good, thanks:)

I hope thats true because the reason I went this whole reconstruction process is to have even boobs to be able to wear a bathing suit and tank tops.

For 13 years I wore a prosthesis on my right side after my mastectomy and was definitely uneven. I did not wear a bathing suit without a prosthesis and gave up swimming because I was afraid of my prosthesis shifting and it being obvious to everyone.

Sigh.. now I hear your stories and I grimace inside. I am almost wishing I had just stayed totally flat.

wallan

Hi March surgery sisters, I've been reading along but not posting alot. Just wanted to say, Happy Thanksgiving (to those who celebrate Thanksgiving). I'm so thankful for this site and all of you. I don't know how I would have gotten through this past year without each one of you. I found here, a place of belonging, encouragement, & comradery. I have a wonderful family but being able to share and relate with others walking through the same thing (generally, if not exactly) has been very helpful because you get it. Thank you for your encouragement & support. I hope each of you are doing well and are moving forward and getting back to "normal" life. Bless you all!❤

I was thinking about all of you when I woke up today. Im.thankful for all of you as I learn my new normal. Hugs to all of you!

Well, girls, once again my exchange surgery, which was supposed to be done today, got postponed for 8th of December. There were some other emergency cases, and my ps decided I could wait.

Not that I complain, and I mean, we all know what emergency situation means in our route, but Jesus Christ, I'm so fed up with waiting, and trying to prepare myself for anything and then something happens and I have to wait again. It's a damn frustrating thing to go over and over again.

Surely enough, when it rains it pours. Just out of the blue, a couple of weeks back, my landlord called and informed me that he decided to sell the house I'm renting. He asked for my collaboration with the real estate agent, 'cause soon he'll have to come and take photos of the property, and later on I'll have to be around and available when he will be visiting with potential buyers.

My landlord knows the whole situation with my health, cancer, ongoing surgery and all. I reminded him I'll be for at least 10 days in the hospital (here they don't let you go home with the drains in, or at least that's happening with my ps and his hospital), and after that I won't be exactly jumping around full of energy and stamina. He said he gets it, but nevertheless I need to try and find somebody to be around the house while I'll be at the hospital.

Did I mention that my landlord is an ex of mine? Guess not. Well, he WAS a big chapter in my life, since 10 years IS a long time, but Gosh, I could easily push him over a cliff and feel no regrets at all. He's the epitome of an asshole (wonder what that makes me for staying with him on and off for such a long time. Guess I could blame age, was barely 24 when I met him). Don't even ask how I ended up renting his house. Big story. In a nutshell, there was a time we were supposedly in peace terms, not together of course, but in peace terms, chatting, talking over the phone etc. Back then, I was in a tough spot -things were going not got with my then fiance- and I needed to find a place of my own, so he offered and I said yes, cause the price was ridiculous and not only I could afford it, but I would not need to move out of the city center, so I could be close to work.

Anyway, back to present day. The guy I suspect always had in the back of his head the idea of us getting back together again, or something. Cause things got worse after I got married. His behavior towards me changed, I could detect some sings of jealousy and paranoia, but since he lived in another city I had no worries. Well, he had the last word, that's for sure. I did not see it coming.

Results: My contract is over by the end of the year. At the end of the year, if all goes well, I will be somewhere between a week to 10 days out of exchange surgery. There is no way I can find a new place, move out and move in, in what... two weeks till my exchange surgery?

I've been searching like crazy, but realized prices have been up and up in the last couple of years. Our financial situation right now is such that I really can't afford all that. I'm unemployed for more than a year, my hubby supports everything, but during this year any money we had on the side have flown out the window. I'm not ashamed to say we are completely broke right now, besides the money we'll need to cover the expenses of this surgery, hospitalization time, drugs and so on.

Hubby's side of family aren't willing to help out. No help from my folks too, for various reasons.

It's all a matter of a couple of thousand bucks, but I just don't have them right now. Girls, I'm desperate, to say the least. Don't know what I'll do. And all that, just when I need to stay calm and positive for another surgery.

Well, I admit, I'm failing miserably on staying calm, or positive. Last couple of days I wake up in the middle of the night due to nightmares, full of anxiety.

Plus, I started smoking again (don't shoot).

Sorry for the long rant, but I'm losing my shit right now.

Thanks Molly, please do. I find no heart to pray anymore. But maybe God, or Universe itself will listen to someone else.

It feels like all my courage and stamina just.. evaporated. Don't know how else to describe it. Depression bells are ringing but I'm playing deaf.

Dafne, I'm so sorry your exchange has been postponed along with all the added stresses you are facing. Praying that you are scheduled soon and that all the circumstances you are dealing will resolve. (((sending you hugs)))

Dafne, I'm so sorry you're going through so much all at once. Thinking of and praying for you. {{{hugs}}}

(((Dafne))) Today is Friday. Not sure of the time difference but praying for a good outcome for you!