Another kick in the gut

finallyoverit
finallyoverit Member Posts: 382
edited November 2017 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

I went today and signed papers to destroy the eggs I had harvested before chemo my last go around with bc. Something about signing makes it real that 1- I have mbc, 2- I will never have a natural child of my own and 3- I wasted a whole lot of money on doing that. Who knows.. maybe the delay in chemo is what allowed the beast to escape in the first place. F-u bc!

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Comments

  • JFL
    JFL Member Posts: 1,947
    edited November 2017

    Finallyoverit, I am sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. And so demoralizing (and expensive and time consuming) you went through all that to harvest eggs for naught. I have two frozen eggs and don't have the strength to destroy them.

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  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 382
    edited November 2017

    Thank you JFL. Of course the girls at the office recognized me and asked how I was doing. They all knew why I was harvesting. I knew I couldn't tell them about my progression without ugly tears, so I did what I always do, smile and say "I'm doing ok.. things are good". Ugh... at least the ugly tears waited until I made it to the car. Thanks for understanding.


    Edited to fix autocorrect error

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  • Nkb
    Nkb Member Posts: 1,436
    edited November 2017

    Finallyoverit- How heartbreaking that decision must have been! I can't imagine having to do that. Hope you find some extra hugs today!

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  • bigbhome
    bigbhome Member Posts: 840
    edited November 2017

    Finallyoverit, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Yeah, the finality of it sucks! Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.Claudia

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  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 382
    edited November 2017

    Thanks for the support everyone..it truly means a lot. I really haven't been emotional about this whole mess until this came up. I've been crying for days. It truly feels real now. I'm giving myself this weekend to sulk, then I'm putting on my big girl panties and moving on. Love to all of you.

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  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 2,785
    edited November 2017

    Sulk away! This is a major blow.

    Don't ever think that it was a waste, or that delaying chemo mattered. Truly it's just bad luck.

    Have a hug and a glass of wine on me.

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  • Kandy
    Kandy Member Posts: 1,461
    edited November 2017

    Goodness, how unfair. Like cancer doesn’t take enough from us. I truly am sorry. I can only imagine how emotionally draining this must be. Praying for comfort for you

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  • Casun19
    Casun19 Member Posts: 111
    edited November 2017

    Ugh it's just not fair. I am sorry you had to do that. I have eggs/embryos waiting for me too. I just paid the bill to store them for another year.... what a waste of $$$ but I couldn't bring myself to go in and put an end to it 😑

    You are definitely not alone

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  • Jeenee
    Jeenee Member Posts: 99
    edited November 2017

    finallyoverit -

    I am so sorry for this loss you suffered because of cancer.Thoughts are with you and wishing you peace in your heart.

    - Jeene

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  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 382
    edited November 2017

    Thanks again everyone. I can't begin to tell you how much your support means to me. No one else gets it like you do. This freaking disease take so much...

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited November 2017

    finallyover, we all get it, another dream stolen by this horrific disease...I'm sooooo sorry

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited November 2017

    Finally, that is really a heavy thing to deal with. I am sorry for what you are going through, the hard, stark realities you have to face. I am sending you cyber hugs.


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