Reoccurrence fear

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Mjdeaton
Mjdeaton Member Posts: 4
edited October 2017 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

I am 9 months post diagnosis , 16 chemo treatments and 25 radiation completed as well as surgery.Oncologist says I am in remission. But why can't I be happy with that? How do we live without worrying about every ache and pain?

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited October 2017

    Hi Mjdeaton, and thanks for posting.

    This is not an uncommon fear -- many members here are concerned with the what-ifs of a cancer recurrence. It's tough to live in this "new normal" where every thing you're experience seems like a symptom. Just know you're in the right place to express your fears, and to get the support about how best to handle these emotions, as well as tips to keep your risk of recurrence as low as possible!

    In addition, you may want to fill out your profile (link at the top right of your screen), with your diagnostic and treatment information so that others can see your diagnostic and treatment info and weigh in with their experiences.

    We hope this helps and look forward to hearing more from you soon!

    --The Mods

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  • MTwoman
    MTwoman Member Posts: 2,704
    edited October 2017

    Mjdeaton, oh my goodness, please do give yourself the time and space you need to find your 'new normal' that we all have to find. It is completely understandable that now is the time that you are struggling to acclimate. Once we get our diagnosis, we are able to "do" things like educate ourselves on the appropriate treatment options, select a team and gear ourselves up for treatment. Once treatment starts, we are going to appointments and working on healing or just making it through the various steps. These things make us feel more powerful. Once all of that is done, there isn't as much to "do" and that is a difficult adjustment to make as not doing things makes us feel more vulnerable. Time will most likely help you with this feeling, it starts to fade as you get re-engaged in living your life again. Maybe a support group or therapist can help you work through what changes you want to keep in your life and what things you'd like to return to 'normal'. I think that knowing this is a normal process and giving yourself permission to just be where you are emotionally is a good first step. Sending you warm wishes and gentle ((Hugs))

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  • Catsme
    Catsme Member Posts: 74
    edited October 2017

    Mjdeaton, I'm about 11 months since diagnosis, and felt the anxiety that you describe almost constantly at first. But as the wonderful people here say, it does get better with time. Oh, I still have moments and days of anxiety, but the more I stay busy and engaged in other things the less I think about it. I am also working with a counselor. She and I came up with an interesting strategy. She gave me the little guy in this picture, and this is my breast cancer worry and anxiety. While he's with me, or near by most of the time, I can put him down, leave him in the car, etc. And say "you stay here, I'll get back to you later." I go have dinner, or go to work, or meet friends, without him. After doing this for a few weeks, I find myself letting go more and more. Oh, and I do yell at him, and throw him when the worry starts to get to me. May not work for everyone, but it has worked for me.

    As MTwoman says give yourself some time & space. There will come a time when this isn't so top of mind.

    image

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  • MTwoman
    MTwoman Member Posts: 2,704
    edited October 2017

    catsme, I LOVE that! Thanks so much for sharing

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