The Middle Wife

>> *The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade
>> teacher.
>>
>> I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I
>> have two kids myself, but
>> the best birth story I know is the one I saw in *my
>> own second-grade
>> classroom a few years back.
>>
>> When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always
>> have a few sessions
>> with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
>> usually, show-and-tell
>> is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
>> airplanes, pictures of fish
>> they catch, stuff like that.
>> And I never, ever place any boundaries or
>> limitations on them.
>> If they want to lug it in to school and talk about
>> it, they're welcome.
>> Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very
>> bright, very outgoing kid,
>> takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
>> class with a pillow
>> stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot
>> of an infant."This is
>> Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you
>> about his birthday."
>>
>> "First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their
>> love, and then Dad put a
>> seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He
>> ate for nine months
>> through an umbrella cord."
>>
>> She's standing there with her hands on the pillow,
>> and I'm trying not to
>> laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The
>> kids are watching her in
>> amazement.
>>
>> "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying
>> And going, 'Oh, Oh,Oh,Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind
>> her back and groans.
>> "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh,
>> oh,oh!'
>> Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and
>> groaning.
>> "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,
>> but she doesn't have a
>> sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my
>> Mom to lie down in bed
>> like this."
>>
>> Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
>> "And then, pop! My Mom
>> had this bag of water she kept in there in case he
>> got thirsty, and it just
>> blew up and spilled all over the bed, like ssshh
>> heew!"
>>
>> This kid has her legs spread with her little hands
>> miming water flowing away
>> It was too much!
>>
>> "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,'
>> and 'breathe, breathe.
>> They started counting, but never even got past ten.
>> Then, all of a sudden,
>> out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff
>> that they all said it
>> was from Mom's
>> play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside
>> there."
>>
>> Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and
>> returned to her seat. I'm
>> sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when
>> it's show-and-tell day,
>> I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle
>> Wife" comes along.
>>
>> Now you have two choices...laugh and close this
>> page
>> Or pass this along to someone else to spread the
>> laughs. I know what I
>> did!!!
>> & Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to
>> make someone happy!
>>
Marsha