Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

It rained here overnight -- was raining when I got up --- a bit later than usual, but then again it is so easy at times to sleep when it is rainy. Something about the ions in the air changing. Anyway, while I'm not a fan of the grayness -- I do see that we really did get enough moisture ( and some more will come I think thru the day ) to settle the dust this time. Last couple of rains just didn't budge that old dust much.

Nothing much planned for today -- so if I don't get outside it will be okay. Thank goodness I have those special lights from another lady here that dispel the gloom that settles over me so easily when it rains. Haven't actually dispelled all my dread of days, but has done wonders to keep me from real 'issues' when the rain comes. Fortunately this rain season --- the majority of it took place at night and only one night at a time -- so I didn't have too many 'negative' times to undergo. My car wash ( recent one ) will have to be re-done but I don't mind. The blue color of my car up close really shows a lot more than my old one ( pewter silver shade ) did. I could go quite a while and the pewter car just would lose a lot of the shine but not show much dirt at all. Not so now, but I still love the sort of dusty blue shade -- the paperwork says midnight blue, that the car is. It has in fact, given me an appreciation for the color blue on cars that I didn't have before.

Bonnets, your river excursion sounds delightful. Well, you know, many things we do more than once usually produce some different results and knowledge. Thank goodness we aren't static -- it does enable us to look through new eyes and take advantage of different feelings. Helps us to focus on things that we didn't give the same perception to at earlier times or excursions.

Looking out the same window everyday always brings me joy --- because though it is the same window -- every day I can see different aspects of what is outside. Like all those leaves that the wind brought down out of the trees --- and now today they are wet. There will be ( after today's rain ) wind tonight so the weatherman says -- and that will mean even more leaves yet. Past time to start ridding our yard -- and it will be an on-going process until all the leaves are down. Sigh !!!!

Hope you all have a marvelous Sunday.

I haven't even started to think of Halloween, much less Thanksgivng or Christmas. We usually have a nice Halloween night. I don't decorate for Halloween at all. But we live on a street with 22 houses on each side. Add just one street over, and the kids have 88 houses for trick or treating. We usually get together with some neighbors to share dinner. My kids have always invited friends to join them, and now that they are grown, friends come with spouses and children. After eating, mostly the dads, but some mom's, too, chaperone the kids and the rest of us sit out front and hand out candy.

Wish I could say that my Hurricane repairs are behind us, but no such luck- not even close. The friend doing the floors is doing a great job, but is less than dependable as far as showing up. Today begins our 4th week. He didn't come Thurs or Fri, because he had no helper. I asked why he wasn't here then, doing the other stuff, like fixing the patio ceiling, hanging my TV, etc. By that time it was already mid-morning and he was at his house, about 2 hrs away. When working, he stays with my DD's ex MIL. And, as usual, the scope and cost of the work has increased tremendously. We still haven't found a roofer, but needed to replace the sliding glass door that came off the track. Somehow, I ended up doing both sliding glass doors (dining room and family room) and all of the kitchen windows, (2 sliding glass windows, 2 stationery windows and a thin side window) with hurricane strength doors and windows. First estimate we got did not include any of the kitchen windows, and we wouldn't get them for 14-26 weeks from now.

I am very uncomfortable with chaos in my surroundings, despite the chaos my family brings. My brother's 3 children flew down to spend a couple of days at Universal. Tracy could tell how stressed I was getting, so she called Ron and told him no excuses- he had to get my bedroom done while my brother was gone, and I had a bedroom to sleep in. But, in order to keep the lines of the tiles, he had to do the family room first. The family room furniture and my bedroom furniture are on the back patio. We have to use the patio to get from one side of the house to the other, which means we can't lock our patio doors at night. Some of my clothes are in my brother's room, some in the office, some in my DD's room. My nice new garage is a mess, with a lot of my closet and all of Ron's tools are out there. Every surface possible is covered with things like my parents wedding china, pictures and everything else that usually has a place.

The insurance adjuster is coming again tomorrow to look at the damage we have found since the original damage. And Wed, we have the final roof estimate- then I will make a decision and get that done. I found a new shed for the yard that costs only $100 more than the insurance paid, including installation. I sent my brother out to make sure our cement slab is the right size for what I am looking at. He came back to tell me we don't have a cement slab- we have a few cement blocks and pieces of wood instead. So now I am looking for someone to pour us a cement slab. And I feel so stupid when people ask how old the roof, or the shed or whatever else is, and my answer is "I have no idea." But until my husband passed away, I never had to handle any of this. I picked, in some situations, what look I wanted, but he took care of all the business part of it. There was some question about how old the laminate floors were- we had 3 different laminates. I said that if Bob was alive, not only could he tell you the month and year each one was installed, he could tell you to the penny exactly what each cost.

I am not handling all of this very well. And to top it off, I went out to the yard to take a picture of the hot tub we want to get rid of, and stepped on some uneven pavers, and fell flat on my back. Thank God, my niece was here because I couldn't get up. That left me so sore, I thought I had undone the shots in my back, but I am feeling better now. Here's hoping things are more organized by Halloween.

Anne

Thank the Lord my husband made me pay attention to everythng that was done in our homes.....I use to think...why do I have to be bothered with this stuff (aren't you the man of the house)...that was back when I was trying to take care of 6 little ones and he would call me when I was doing something, and he was planning something (building, repairing, a problem, etc), and say....."Can you come here for a minute I want you to see something"...........of course I would grumble and swear all the way to where he was, but was smiling when I got there so I wouldn't hear....."one day I may not be here and you need to know these things"....

Well one day, that day came......and from 56 to 82 I have had to learn to live without the one person who always did the "things a woman couldn't do back then"......I use to envy my friends whose husbands put on the new toilet seat....the men who use to wash the wndows, and the storm sashes (remember those).....for their wives ....while I was doing it because my husband was out working trying to feed 8 people and keep a roof over our head.....his day did not end up at 5pm.....he did side jobs, and went to school at night to keep us afloat.........

So from 56 to 82 I look back to those days and "thank him" for showing me how to get along without him......he was gone at 57 years of age.....in my head and my heart till this day I look back and think 'you must have known somehow ...t you were preparing me to learn to live without you".............and I have.........

I have sons, and son-n-laws.....who do some things for me.....but sometimes rather then ask, I do it myself, or pay someone to do it for me......and I have taught my daughters .....Never live your life depending on "a man".....love him, make him happy....pray he is always by yours side.......but learn how to survie without him.....because you never know..........

My mother taught me that, I taught my daughters that, and they have taught my grandaughters that.......Its called survival...cause you never know......

Sunny out today, but going to be cool all day. I have plenty to do -- just like most days here, so not being out of doors won't bother me. Starting tomorrow ( I hope ) we will get back into the early to mid 70's where it should be pleasant out of doors. Right now the furnace has been coming on for most of the morning so far. I don't mind that either.

Just glad there isn't any gray outside to have to see. When it is there I not only see it, but feel it and I'm glad to feel the sun on my shoulders when I am out of doors. The cats lay inside finding the good sunny spots coming thru the windows while the dogs come up on the deck to lay against the wall in the full sun. Everything benefits from the sun.

I hope you are all going to have a fine day.

Jackie

How can you develop a self-concept linked to your untapped potential? First, you can decide on the kind of life you would like to lead in ten or fifteen years. This will give you a standard for making decisions about current activities and will reduce the inclination to compare yourself unfavorably to others. Learn to ask, "How would I handle this situation were I the person I hope to become?" And then take action in line with your vision.

Ari Kiev

Really need to dust, but not going to get it done today (or maybe not even at all). I had such a bad night..no sleep until after 4 am. My legs were just so painful. I could feel them "rippling" and they just plain hurt! I tried massage, icyhot, biofreeze, banana...nothing helped. I think climbing in & out of that tub to clean yesterday was too much.

Maybe I shouldn't be doing the outdoor or treadmill walking. My legs [thighs (front & back), knees, calves, shins & hips] always hurt during and after walking. I would have thought after 10 months that my muscles & joints would be used to the exercise. I'm not buying the whole arthritis thing. I had a little stiffness that is considered normal for a 60-something, but this has blown way up in the last year. My MO tells me that the letrozole is "aggravating your arthritis". My PCP doesn't believe it's arthritis, yet. I probably have the beginnings, but she doubts it would worsen this fast. I have so much pain when I sit down & even more when I try to stand up. My fingers hurt as well, but that doesn't interfere with my sleep or waking life. I don't have this kind of pain from the rest of my workout. My shoes are good & new...I went to a sport store & asked for help buying the right kind of shoes for walking...they fit well. I just don't know if I am doing something incorrectly or if maybe walking isn't the right exercise for me. I think I need to talk to the trainer. He didn't originally design my program to include walking. I asked him to add it because I like to walk. I am a normally active person. I am ,admittedly, new to a regular exercise program, but when I was working, I walked a lot, pushed heavy book carts, shelved, walked and ran a quarter mile track when I was a PE sub-teacher. I was not expecting this kind of pain.

Mornin all,

Since most of my posts have been on the "complaining", "venting" side, I thought I'd share some happier moments. I mentioned that my brother's children were coming down to go to Universal for the weekend. His DD came on Thurs because she's definitely a Daddy's girl and wanted some time with him without her 2 brother's. The boys weren't coming till Sat and I wouldn't see them because they were heading out for Universal from the airport.

On Thurs night we went to a local BBQ place that my brother& I love. Without my knowing, my brother had texted my youngest son and he and his wife joined us! I was amazed. As you know, I am used to 10 minute surprise visits from him at 10:30pm when he's hanging out with our neighbor. Plus, we had gotten together the Sun before- just my brother, my son, his wife and me. So I thought I wouldn't see him again till the holidays. Then Fri nite we went again to a place called Twin Peaks, and Tim ubered to meet us, with his wife coming as she finished work.The daughter that lives here also went both nights.

I love my brother for many reasons, one of them being the fall after Tim graduated HS. He watched all of his friends leave for college, and had just broken up with his first girlfriend. He Went into a deep depression, and finally said he had to get out of here. He suggested my going to my sister, which I vetoed because she had too many issues on her hands already. Then I thought of my brother. He was a widower, raising his three on his own. His youngest is only 6 mos older than Tim. He immediately said sure. He said he didn't have an extra bed, but they would figure it out. Tim stayed for 6 months, even got a job at a sandwich shop, and when he came back he was a different kid.

It is so much fun when any combination of the 5 of them get together, telling stories of their time together, having the rest of us laughing so hard we are crying. When we adopted Tim, my family was not totally happy about it. First off, we already had 3 bio kids and had already adopted Jamie when she was almost three. They couldn't understand any adoption at all, but Tim being bi-racial just totally threw them. Of course, as they got to know him, that changed, but my brother just totally accepted him unconditionally from the get-go.

We are going to a very strange occasion this weekend. At least 6 month's ago, my cousin's husband passed away. For some reason, they did not have a funeral. They decided to have a memorial for him this weekend. He was cremated, so we are going fishing at his favorite fishing spot to spread his ashes. Most of the people going are my age or older with a few of the next generation. None of us fish ever. Then back to their house for their son, a professional chef is making dinner for all of us. We are all arriving Fri eve. Yesterday started with texts from the widow, saying that we could all meet at this Irish Pub for dinner that night. Most of us replied with positive replies. Her one sister, who is barely on speaking terms with her, decided an Irish Pub, without Irish music, was unacceptable, so by early afternoon, she had rented a room for us with an Irish band, but it didn't serve food, so she was catering a cold buffet for all. I don't know exactly what happened, but we are back at the original Pub. We all responded alMOSt exactly the same- Nancy this is your event. We will be okay what ever we do, but honestly, the Pub sounds like the best option. Especially since we are all Irish ( some more than others) but her husband was not Irish at all. Gotta love family,

Anne

PS - I think they just moved my bed back into my bedroom!!

Oh the glory of a bed where you need it --- and if the bed can go back in -- sounds like a lot of other things can too. As to that, and the quote I'm sitting here thinking that 'little' things mean a lot. Like a bed, a brother, and a happy family that can have good times and look forward to more. You are so right Anne where Nancy is concerned. Despite the strange delay ( I'm sure it made sense to Nancy ) she is doing something for a special reason and shouldn't let anyone else have too much influence over HER personal choices about it. If she is like most women -- she would try to keep some middle ground in as many areas as is possible. Her sister sounds like a drama just waiting to happen. Funny how two in the same family can be so opposite.

Also thinking --- if you really do 'fish' all of you who basically never have might have a smashing good time. Sounds like it will be great. Enjoy !!!

Poppy, When the group is that small, consider eating out somewhere. We ate at the Hilton one T Day - because it was the only available place. The food was splendid. I would love to do it again sometime.

Not yet started on TG plans. Will be hard to beat last year. Stayed in a lovely Greenwich CT home, part of which dates to Revolutionary times - sister was house/cat sitting. We went to the Macy's parade in NYC and then cooked TG dinner for the two of us. Lots of other fun in NYC, including meeting up with DD who lives in NYC several times. DH is a Brit, so TG is not a big thing.

The story of love is not important -- what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.

Helen Hayes

Brautiful sunny day here in Iowa City, where I’m attending a music conference. This morning we played at a nursing home, and though none of us had even met before, we were a pretty good band. 75 right now, going down to the low 50s. But I think I can leave the jacket in my room when I walk to the group dinner a couple of blocks away.

Gotta miss what could be the Cubs’ last hurrah—but we’re supposed to watch the opening ceremonies, awards, and DJs/Presenters’ Favorites concert—never know when one will need a folk DJ &/or venue or festival operator

Ducky,

Praying for Makayla (granddaughter) to have excellent results from tomorrow's cyst surgery and a speedy recovery!!

I'm scheduled for my 10 year colonoscopy Nov 7th and picked up my golytely today. Not happy with how the prep has changed. Mix up a gallon of the stuff, drink half of it at 5pm the day before, an 8 hour glass every 10", then drink the other half 6 hours before the procedure. My procedure is at 8:45 am, so that means I need to get up at 2:40am and drink half a gallon before 4:40 when I'm then NPO. Won't be getting much sleep that night.

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.

Mohandas Gandhi