Well, I got that dreaded phone call

Sorry you find yourself here, but welcome. You will find much support. Unfortunately that phone call is one that you remember forever. Once you find out all the prognostic factors, ER/PR/HER2 , you will have a better idea of what lies ahead. I know its easy to say and not do, been there, but take a deep breath, cry, do whatever to let it out. I'm 51 and though my kids are older, my youngest is in HS and two in college, it hurts just as much at the thought of all the "what ifs". I still feel its surreal 2 months later. Feel like I go through all the motions still, but it's not quite sunk in even after all this time.

Plenty of people to support you through this.

Hi and I am sorry you are here....but hopefully you will find these boards helpful...I know, I have. I was diagnosed in May - and I think another post stated she still feels it is all a little surreal...and agreed. I have been going top speed since diagnosis that when it gets quiet and I think about the passage of time since May....it still seems surreal. So be good to yourself...and patient with yourself. I found out about my diagnosis about 4 days from my actual appt, because they scheduled me with a breast surgeon and an MRI in my online medical chart, and I got appointment reminders. So I knew...I just didn't know what kind of breast cancer I had... dear lord HARD 4 days....but once you get more results it becomes easier, because you understand "your ball game."

The MRI is ordered to typically show extent of the breast cancer - and some ladies do not get them/are not offered them....they can be a great tool in assisting with treatment/assessment. I found my breast surgeon by phoning friends and asking around and went with someone that was not given to me by my breast center. I used a large cancer center out here for my second and third opinions. (next appt Oct 17th) Women's support groups in your area for breast cancer may be good resources as well!! I met a group of survivors in my area and asked if I could come to their meeting, and they all gave me the "low down" on breast surgeons/treatments/tips/etc. Treatment is individual and sometimes surgery is not the first step...

I'm sorry that you find yourself with us, but you have found a safe place for yourself-- to express your feelings, to ask questions, and to talk about feelings you may find yourself experiencing that others who are not taking this same journey may not understand. It will get better -- not to sound corny. When I came here in late July after my diagnosis, many told me the very same thing. And now here I am, saying the same to you. I'm still early in my journey, but everyone is right when they say it gets easier once you have your treatment plan in place. The more information you learn, the better it will start to feel-- because you will feel more in control. The early days of diagnosis are toughest because we usually have very little info except for the fact that we have cancer. I never knew until now that info would seem to reveal itself over time and not all at once. Anyway, your BS ordering an MRI is good. He should want to check and see everything before performing surgery. That was the first thing my BS ordered before following through with the surgery plan he had in mind-- it also provided me more information so that I could make sound decisions.

I know it's scary. Believe me I do, but it will get better and you will be able to do this. I say this to you because, as I said, others here said the same thing to me only 6 weeks ago, and here I am doing this, and enduring things that if you would have asked me three months ago if I could endure, I probably would have said 'no'.

Keep coming here and asking questions too as they come up. There are others who have been through this and who have been around for a longer time and they will for certain be able to provide you with more insight as you move forward.

Hi Jamorcar, I was 44 with 2 little kids (2 and 3). It really, really sucks, but it's possible to get through it. Do you have a good support system? Kids make it a lot more complicated - both figuring out how to take care of them and figuring out how to explain the cancer to them. I used a ton of picture books.

Sounds like you're getting in to see your doctors quickly - I think that's good for mental health reasons.

Edited to add: my diagnosis was a little over 7 years ago. I was stage III, with disagreement about a vs. c because of inconsistency of reporting about whether there was a positive node near my sternum. We do get through it. I was ER+, so the risk of recurrence never really goes away, but I have done well and been grateful for all the time I've already had.

I remember that phone call too. Tuesday night at home. I was already braced for the news but still upset of course. I think I was in a fog after that because I just went through the motions. Friends gave me the name of a breast surgeon who they used and one of the best in town. I recall sitting there with his assistant listening to the kind of BC I had and all the gory details. Lumpectomy, meeting with Oncologist, Oncotype test, 33 radiation treatments and 5 years on Tamoxifen. That's been my life for the past 6 years and here I am, so far, so good.

This forum is a godsend and has been my lifeline. It's the only place you can go where everyone is going through the same thing in various stages and grades. I have made some friends outside the DX because no matter what BC doesn't define you.

I don't have small children but my youngest son took the news very hard. I managed to keep my game face on for him. I took my fears to my friends esp ones who had had BC. My SIL and sister both had BC.

You can do this. We are testaments to that. Research and treatment has come a long way even since my DX in 2011.

Keep the faith and keep us posted.

Diane

hello sweetie I was 42 n planning our 2nd wedding when I found the lump working in the medical field I went 2 work needle biopsy was done I could see the doc n nurse both my friend's look at each other n knew. Diagnosed with idc had 3 months chemo before n after surgery Lmast we got married after chemo and before rads which were 7wks I am now a 23yr Survivor Praise God You can do this with Hope n Positive thinking is what I did. msphil idc stage2 0\3 nodes Lmast chemo rads n 5yrs on tamoxifen