Mastectomy at 33 need motherly advice on recovering

sm627 · August 2017

Hi

I am looking for surrogate mother figures that has had mastectomy for help and advice.

My name is Sara I am 33 years old and had a mastectomy(right breast) this summer back in June. I had a 17cm 3lb Borderline Phyllodes tumor and my path report showed I also have ADH, so I will be going on Tamoxifen soon. Now that it has been two months since surgery, and I am off all my pain medication, and I don't feel like sleeping 24/7 reality has set in and some days are harder to deal with then others. Sometimes I get sharp pains they don't last to long but they hurt, and I am looking for advice on how to get through the pain if it happens to last longer in the coming months. I also have stiffness in my shoulder all the time I am going to Physical Therapy which is helping, but was wondering if there are any other ways to help reduces the stiffness. How do you not make yourself go crazy worrying about that the tumor might comeback again.

I miss my breast and sometimes I feel very sad, and I wish none of this ever happened. I am trying to adjust to my "new normal" but it is hard because i don't know what normal is anymore. I have a wonderful mother that I can talk to about anything, but she has never had a mastectomy before, so it is hard for her to relate to how I feel both physically and emotionally. I feel comfortable coming here to write out what I am feeling and hearing the experiences from other women who have been in my shoes.

If you could please share your experiences and what has worked for you I would greatly appreciate your advice and wisdom.

Hugs and Love,

Sara

PS if you ever need a daughter to come over and clean your bathrooms, take out the trash or wash dishes let me know and I will come and help you. I do all of those chores for my mom.

Molly50 · August 2017

Hi Sara,

I am sorry you lost your breast at such a young age. My sister was 24 when she had a modified radical mastectomy. She adjusted well after recovery even though she spent years with stage 3 lymphedema . I keep her in mind on the days I let it get me down.

I will say to you what I would say that my own daughter. Just take it one day at a time. Don't let your breasts define you. Focus on other qualities that make you feel pretty. You can also remind yourself that you cut your risks by a lot removing your breast. But allow yourself time to grieve as well. Our breasts are a big part of being a woman. It was hard to lose them knowing they provided nourishment to my babies.

As for the pain, are you doing reconstruction? Is it the expander that hurts? Physical therapy helped me a lot. I was in a lot of pain after my first mastectomy.

I am sending you big hugs.

MTwoman · August 2017

sm, I am sorry that you had to lose your breast at such a young age as well. I was 38 when I had my mx. I think that because I initially had a lx, and then more dcis was found in other quadrants of my right breast, that I was able to accept the recommendation for mx (although I had been committed to breast conserving therapy). There really weren't any other good options for me. The thing that I remember being the most difficult for me, was that I was single. The thought of becoming intimate with someone again, of "when do I have the discussion", of the other "what if's" was particularly difficult. I had lots of conversations with friends (who were all therapists, like me) and really talked it out. One friend (who was a guy) was particularly helpful. I am 14 years NED now, and have been married for 7 years (in Dec). So one recommendation would be to see if you can find a good therapist that you connect with for some support right now, and perhaps a group of younger women who've also had mx? A breast center may be able to connect you with such a group.

I do remember the difficulty and sadness that I experienced and am happy to talk more with you by PM if you'd like. warm ((hugs))

Lisey · August 2017

SM, sorry to hear about the stiffness and pain. I don't know if you've had reconstruction or not. If you haven't, I suggest you join us at Flat and Fabulous on Facebook and you can speak to thousands of us who are rocking being flat / or half flat. It's a great support group of women on clothing choices, body healing, self - empowerment, PT issues, etc. Many younger women there as well.

beach2beach · August 2017

Hi Sm,

So sorry that has happened to you at your age. I had a bilateral mastectomy but I had immediate implants done. I'm 51. That said, I still have yet to come to terms with what happened. It happened all so fast. I look and see breasts, but I still feel different. I have weird pains come and go but I'm only 3weeks out. Physically I feel I will get over it, emotionally, I don't know. I don't tell many people what happened because I don't want to be looked at differently or be reminded of it. I know people are well meaning, but I don't want to hear, so sorry, or how does it feel, etc. I want normal conversations because I hope that will make me feel normal again.

You could be feeling nerve pain, as areas regenerate themselves from being cut and I read that could be for some time. Some of them really HURT! A therapist or maybe if you can find a local support group and hear feedback in person, from others who have been there or who are still in the midst may help. I have found a tremendous amount of help from reading stories on this website. I also have been going on and doing what I had been doing before, I find that even though some of it is the same boring crap I did before, it helps to keep going through the motions of it. Maybe find something that you were interested in doing before but never did, you go and do it now. Give you something positive, and a step forward post diagnosis.

Give yourself more time. Think we all need as much time as we need until we can move on.

Like to clean up cat hair with a Swiffer and cleaning a 16yr old boys room and a 20yr old girls room? You do? Come on by.

misbehavinggirls · August 2017

Hi sm I had my (double) mx in June as well. I was moving right away the next day (I call it pet therapy, and my surgeon never said I couldn't). Petting, reaching, patting etc lol. I have one side that has been tighter than the other but I do think that I've had very little restriction because of my movement. It's great that you are seeing PT.

I had some pretty bad muscle spasms initially from the drains, but those stopped immediately when the drains were pulled and since you are a couple months out I'm doubting that is the cause of your pains. Most likely it is nerve and tissue discomfort from scarring forming.

The one thing that I did from the beginning whenever I had pain.... and I'm talking those twingy, stabby kinds of pains. I would apply pressure right to the spot with a few fingertips until the twinging/stabbing sensation stopped. The more I healed the more I would add a little bit more and more of a circular massage movement to the spots that I would do this with. I also do this right on the scar(s). What I want to avoid is adhesions. I also used Arnica Massage oil and coconut oil from pretty much the first week out. Its never too late for that.

I stretch my pec muscles several times a day and do this gentle massage technique to any spot that feels stiff, sore or painful. Your PT will give you good stretches to do.

As far as the loss. I went back to work 3 weeks out per my surgeons ok but IT WAS TOO EARLY. I should have been able to stay out for 5-6 weeks. 3 weeks might be a milestone for surgical healing, but it is not a good time for range of motion and especially emotional healing. It was very hard having people with the sad eyes asking "How ARE you????" It was a very fragile time.

I don't know if you have had reconstruction. That will make a difference I'm sure. I decided to not do it and rock the flat chest. I loved my boobs and for me personally anything else was just going to be pretend and just didn't fit with my personality. Everyone has a different path to walk. Anyhow I'm loving (not like in love with, but learning to love) the new chest.... learning the new sensations and subtle differences. I hope you find relief keep in touch!

sm627 · August 2017

Thank you all for your suggestions, support and hugs. You have given me hope! Which is something I need on the days i am feeling down. Thanks for lifting my spirits. I also appreciate you sharing your stories with me I have learned so much for each of you that I will take with me and apply in my journey. Hugs and Love to all, Sara

Molly50, I will do my best to take each day one at a time. I have taken baby steps in trying to do things that make me feel good. I started to get back into painting again that has brought some joy back into my life. I haven't gotten reconstruction yet and I don't have tissue expanders in. My breast surgeon had to take a lot of my skin away due to the size of the tumor, so she could not put in a tissue expander in. I won't be able to have reconstruction for another 6 months or maybe longer depending on how long it take me to fully physically heal. I have noticed that when I go out in public people don't really notice anything different unless I tell them. I don't mind what other people think about how I look. One thing I have noticed that I've been doing lately is when I go out for walks and see young teenage girls walking around with their two breasts I think to myself (You better enjoy those breasts while you have them because you never know when they might be taken away).

If you don't mind me asking how long did it take you to heal from your mastectomy and what did you do to make yourself feel better?

Thank you for your Big Hugs! Many Hugs back to you!

MTwoman, Thank you for sharing your story with me. I am glad to hear that life is going well for you 14 years later and you are happy with life and have found the love of your life. I too have found that talking about my feelings and experience with other young woman as helped. Before my surgery I joined a breast cancer support group for younger woman in my area. I have been to several meetings and I have learned something new form each woman I listen too and we all help each other work through how we are feeling. I have yet to find a good therapist to talk to. My doctor said she would refer me to one but I haven't hear back from her yet on when that will happen.

Thank you for offering to talk to me more about the emotional aspect I would love to do that through PM.

Warm Hugs to you!

Lisey, Thank you for mentioning about the going flat or half flat in my case on Facebook. I will check it out. I will be going flat for about 6 months until I get my reconstruction done. What has going flat meant to you? How does it make you feel? What has been the most helpful advice you have been given about how to embrace going flat?

Hugs!

Beach2Beach, Thank you for feeling comfortable to share your story with me. I can understand not wanting people to look at you or treat you differently. Trying to be and feel normal is hard after losing such a important part of your body. I had all kind of pains when I was 3 weeks out. They went from my arm all the way to my chest. I know the emotional part of all of these is hardest part to except. I will take your advice and take all the time i need to truly heal from this life changing event. I have found a local support group that I go to twice a month that has been very helpful. Thanks for giving me the idea to try and do things I always wanted to but haven't. I think when I go back to work next month I will try and use my artwork to help other people.

What would you like to do that you haven't yet done that would bring you some joy?

Lots of Hugs and wishing you all the best on your road to recovery however long it takes.

Misbeavinggirls, Wow you sound like Super Woman! getting up and reaching for things the day after is amazing. I was up and walking but not reaching for anything the day after my surgery although all the drugs i was on probably didn't help my reaching movements. I am glad to have a June Surgery buddy. Thank you for the massage techniques I will for sure try them out. I think my surgeon mentioned something about that as well. How much energy did you have to go back to work after 3 weeks? I am going back to work this Friday I teach preschool children. At 3 weeks I was still taking naps i told everyone that if I went back to work it would be nap time all day long and the children would hate me for it. LOL I can totally understand about emotional not being ready to go back to work. It is hard to find the words to say to people how you really are feeling. I had a hard time talking to my co-workers about it when they came to visit me and try to get them to understand how hard this has been for me.

How are you doing now with work and life in general? I will keep in touch and let you know how thing are going.

Wishing you all the best.

Big Hugs and Many Thanks to one and all for your wisdom and TLC!

Sara

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Icandoallthings · August 2017

thanks for posting this, it gives me insight as to what I'm stepping in to. I'm 29, and having my surgery consult Wednesday for a double. Im really scared as this is for a reoccurance. I just don't want to start again :-

sm627 · August 2017

Lcandoalthings,

I am sending you lots of Love and Hugs! if there is anything more I can do to help please let me know. We can't get through this without each others support. I truly am sorry that you have to go through this again! All of this simply horrible that you and people around our age in our 20s and 30s have to deal with this at all being so young. I know I was scared too before my surgery I cried myself to sleep every night a week before my surgery. The physical pain after the surgery wasn't to bad for me all the drugs they gave me really helped in the hospital. After I got home the pain level was not to bad I only had to take pain killers a little bit for the first week or so. Then I was down to only taking pain pills at night to help me sleep, and so I didn't have to feel any emotions. The emotional aspect of all of this has been the hardest to deal with.

How have you been feeling? Do you have a good support system?

If you need more support I'll be here for you feel free to come back to this post or PM me anytime.

Love and Hugs,

Sara

Icandoallthings · August 2017

thanks Sara,

I'm not really dreading the Mastectomy, after a recurrence I am happy to have them take them away. I just don't want to deal with it again. My biggest concern is chemo and of course my hair. I did cold caps the first time and was able to keep my hair, but I think he is going to change my regimen and it'll be much harsher, keeping me from keeping my hair . which I know sounds stupid and vein and I wish I didn't feel the way I do about it. I have a great support system, but I have a 16-month-old. So it's just difficult to recover with a baby. I'm going to have to put my pride aside and except a lot of help, which is sometimes hard for me

misbehavinggirls · August 2017

IDK you sound pretty energetic Sara! I definitely ain't super woman lol But I really really really love my pets I was so out of it the day of surgery, I don't remember much at all. So many people talk about being up after a few hours. I literally only remember glimpses of that day. I was talking nonsense and slept most of it in outpatient pacu. So I guess I was a lightweight with anesthesia ha! I left the hospital and came home to my sofa and fell asleep with food in my mouth. At least my kids had a laugh. :P

I am a Labor n Delivery RN.... I really should not have gone to work at 3 weeks and told my surgeon so (that is all she signed off for on my FMLA paperwork) at my one month follow up Physically it was possible. I didn't have full reach yet, but the paraesthesia in my armpits was brutal and made it hard to sleep or be cheerful and concentrate at work. That didn't resolve until about 5-6 weeks. Mostly tho it was the fragility of my emotions and having to deal with people wanting to comfort me or check in. I wasn't ready for that. Plus 12 hour night shifts are brutal without post op recovery in the mix.

Right now I am doing really good physically. I have a sore lump below my "breast" area on my ribs that is bothering me going on week 2 now. I believe it is probably scar tissue from one of the drains. But i am going to have to have it checked out of course grrrr. I have an Instagram page dedicated to recovery if you are interested in progress pictures. cancer_bytes_2017 I mostly chronicled it for my own benefit of memory but also because it is what I was wanting to see before I did surgery and didn't find a lot of progression pictures. Lots of before and afters but not progression. I think that you will find work to be good for you if you love your work, but I know the energy that little kids use from the adults around them, and you'll need to be extra kind to yourself after every shift to rejuvenate. I used to teach elementary arts grades 1-8.... those littles use a LOT of your energy

Painting sounds delightful! I didn't bring out my easel but I did get out my knitting that month! I am working on my next higher degree online so now I am back to that grind and all distractions are put away.... sadly.

Every woman has a unique approach to her body and how she encounters or feels about her changes. My mom also had BC x2. She had a DMX after the reoccurrence. That was about 10 years ago? I found out this summer (they were visiting during my surgery/recovery) that she had never showed anyone her body since surgery..... even my dad! wow! And here I am on IG showing the Earths population. I loved my breasts, my favorite part of my physical body. I loved breastfeeding. I loved the way they changed after kids and with age. But I don't feel any less feminine without them. I just feel different. Symmetry is important to me though, I think if I had not had bilateral ca and gone with DMX I would have done reconstruction with the DEIP procedure. I considered it for myself now even, but I don't want to have another big surgery right now and since I'd be replacing 2 breasts I would still not have any of my original breasts. I figured I might as well learn to love my flat chest instead of learning to love 2 new faux boobs with a big surgery involved. That was my thinking anyhow. Not for everyone, but that was what was in my head

Do you have a good support system? Family, friends you can really share with?

Keep in touch! Maybe on IG if you have an acct?

Lisey · August 2017

I think many women can rock being flat, If you look at all the models on the runway, they are basically flat. Ballerinas are flat - or strive to be. The older I get (I'm 41) the more I think big boobs aren't flattering on my friends, and my friends with very small to non-existent boobs look younger and healthier to me. I had huge boobs myself, and when I made the choice to remove the reconstruction TEs I had in my body, I suddenly looked 10 years younger - or so I've been told. Boobs age us. I'm a natural gal, and probably should have realized I would have hated implants, but the medical experts never told me flat was a viable and even great option. My breast care coordinator had huge fake boobs herself as does my oncologist (though I love her). I never saw women rocking the flat. UNTIL I joined F&F. Wow.. game changer for me. No more surgeries, no more bras, my strength came back as did some feeling on my chest, I look thinner, younger, more healthy than before. I can wear clothing I never would have dreamed of, no more itchy nipples or boob sweat. Not to mention all the problems and issues with potential reconstruction. Yes, it sucks to lose feeling in your nipples, but you'll lose it even with reconstruction, I don't think I would have wanted to be a uni - given my large breasts and unevenness. I"m glad I got both removed for symmetry and lightness. - oh and I can FINALLY jog / exercise without having to hold my boobs or wear a bra of steel!

sm627 · August 2017

Hi Lcandoalthings

I can totally understand about not wanting to lose your hair that is one of our most important gifts that makes us feel good about our self. Hair makes us look dam great! I hope that you won't have to lose it at all. I will be sending you positive hair vibes. I know how you feel about asking for help it is hard when you are the one that is always helping other people it makes it very hard to ask for help when you need it the most. Glad you have such a wonderful support system. Glad to know that you and your baby are going to be in the best of care with all of your loved ones there to help you. Are there any other concerns or questions you have? I know all this can be so overwhelming scary especially a second go around.

Wishing you all the best and sending you lots of Love!

Sara

sm627 · August 2017

Hi Misbeavinggirls,

I Love! your IG page I look at every picture you took. By the way your cat is so cute! Thank you for sharing your journey with the world. That is very interesting how your mom didn't feel comfortable sharing her story and you are so open and honest about yours. I have been taking pictures as well to put into a scrap book. Yesterday I took a picture of my flat right side in all of its pink looking glory. I also have nice black and white photo of my right breast before it got cut off. The day that you got your drains out on June 27 was the day I had my surgery. I loved my hospital stay and the nurses were my angles and the drugs I got became my best friend while I was there. That is wonderful that you are a labor and delivery nurse and you help moms and babies enter the world. How long have you been a nurse for do you love your job? How long did you teach art to children for?

I can understand you wanting to embrace your flatness and part of your new normal. Surgery and recovery is no fun so avoiding it all together I get you have to do what feel right for you. If that makes you happy then that is all that matters.

I am slowly starting to accept my flat side since that is how it is going to be for a while until I have reconstructive surgery sometime next year. I have mixed emotions about all this one one hand I am so glad that my 3lb tumor is gone hopefully for good, so I don't miss that part about my breast at all. I also love wearing camisoles they are better then bras. However I miss having my natural breast around I only got to spend about 20 years with it when i thought I would have a lifetime. I find that not having a breast makes it hard to sneeze and caught without causing pain. I am also learning that i can't drink ice water because I feel it going down where my breast used to be it feels very cold and weird. Warm water goes down much easier.

I do have a lot of loving friends and family for support they were great after surgery they made sure I was well feed. I told everyone to come after my drains were out but they all came to visit me within a week of my surgery. I was still a walking sleepy zombie. I have two Aunts that had breast cancer, so I have been able to talk to them about BC issues. However i find that when I try to talk about my feelings of being scared, sad or worried to my family and friends they try and fix things or tell me how to feel. They say things like oh don't worry the tumor is gone now, think positive, and it could have been a lot worse. Sometimes all I want is for my loved ones to just listen and let me express how I feel and don't say anything at all. The only places I feel like I can truly express my feelings are here at breastcancer.org and at the BC support groups i go to twice a month. Some days I feel like life sucks when I am in physical/emotional pain and other day I am in better moods and more up beat. I try to laugh whenever I can. Coming her gives me a chance to vent all my feeling and get help for people that i can't get anywhere else.

Yesterday was a bad day for me I started my period so I was a hormonal mess and when I went to work the director of my preschool told me that because I was gone for so long I had to be replaced, so I lost my morning teaching position. She also told me that the only openings she had left were to either be a sub or work the afternoon teaching shift. I was so upset I didn't know what to say. i told her i needed to think about it, and I went home and cried, my eyes out, thinking to myself great first I lose my breast now I have lost the shift that i enjoyed the most. I don't understand what happened I told my director about all of my breast health issues before hand and she seemed to be very understanding and was willing to work with me and now she pulls this total 180 on me. Any way I went today to talk to the head teacher of the classroom that I work in, and we worked out a schedule that will work for both of us. She is going to tell my director. I am feeling a little better about things now, but still very disappointed in how my director in how she handled the situation. I need to take some time and figure out how I will talk to her about this to make sure this does not happen again or she needs to tell me ahead of time if she is making personal changes.

Anyway thanks for listening to me go on and on I appreciate it. How are you doing?

Ok time for bed now it being 2 in the morning her in CA. Night Night!

Hugs,

Sara

dixiechick442 · September 2017

I'm 33 as well! Sending hugs!

I know no one my age going through this, but my mom was 33 when she had hers done.

sm627 · September 2017

Hi Lisey,

Thank you for sharing your feelings about going flat I can understand and appreciate your point of view. I have enjoyed not having to wear a bra everyday. One less thing to put on in the morning. Today was a great day not to wear a bra or anything else LOL because it was 105 HOT HOT!

Thanks again for sharing.

Hugs,

Sara

sm627 · September 2017

Hi dixiechick442,

Thank you for all your hugs! Sending many hugs back to you! I hope you and your mom are doing well.

Wishing you all the best.

Hugs,

Sara

Shellsatthebeach · September 2017

Hi Sara, I have also just had a mastectomy on August 30th. Although I won't be a big help in dealing with residual pain, I can share my outlook on losing a breast. My body has many scars from the good, the bad and the ugly. Each scar tells a story about me and has made me into the person I am today. And, it's true what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and a little wiser too. You will be wiser beyond your years Sara.

sm627 · September 2017

Hi Shellsatthebeach,

Thank you for your caring and wise words. This whole experience has made me realize that I need to take care of myself more. Can you tell me more about the story behind each of your scars and how it has helped you turn into the person you are now?

I wish you the best as you recover from your mastectomy.

Hugs,

Sara

Shellsatthebeach · September 2017

A short story about my three biggest scars: First major scar is from a c-section and the birth of my last child ( My daughter). That is my happy scar. Next major scar is one that starts at the corner of my right eye and ends near the corner of my mouth. This is when I had skin cancer removed from my face. That was the first time I heard the word cancer. I beat it and the scar has nearly disappeared unless you are looking closely for it. Out of all scars, that is my warrior one because it's on my face for all to see. For many years, I couldn't hide it no matter how much makeup I tried to put on it. My last big scar is the one on my chest from my masectomy that I'm grieving more than I expected. I'm choosing not to reconstruct at this time. It's just too much trauma for my body right now. It's another reminder that life is finite and not to take things for granted. Perhaps this reminder is a life lesson I needed to learn.

sm627 · September 2017

Thank you Shellsatthebeach, for sharing your scar stories with me. I am so glad that you have the happy one of your daughter's birth. I can relate the learning the lesson of how life should never be taken for granted. It is so difficult to lose a major part of your body. We all must take time to say goodbye and express all the feeling we have about the changes that has happened to our body. You have been through so much I admire you!

Thank you for being my inspiration.

Hugs,

Sara

misbehavinggirls · September 2017

Hi Sara, sorry I got caught up in a class and night shift routine. Im working on my next degree.... just turned a huge paper in ugh.

You will likely find that the support people you have will all do the fixing comments. People who love you want to help and feel helpless when they have nothing to offer so usually it is nonsense like that they give back.

I just look and listen and realize.... they feel helpless. And then..... let it go. whewwwwwwww Once i learned to look at people doing stupid things, hurtful things, nonsense things and run the thought through my head.... what have they lived through that makes them the wounded person they are (we all have the wounds) and then gave them the freedom to do those things it was so life changing for me. It doesn't mean you have to accept everything, in fact it helped me set some people free from my life.

Right now..... the comments that I hear that when i was younger I am sure would have peeved me to death would be "I wish I could give you some of my boobs" (or some variation of that). I can't tell you how many times I have heard that since my surgery. lol

So I look at them smile and think..... they just want to lighten the mood, they don't know what to say.... poof.

I am glad you had good nurses while you were in surgery and PACU. I only remember one of mine because the versed my anesthesiologist worked really well and i have some significant amnesia from that day ha!

I was a RN for 7 years (2 in the lactation support area, the rest mostly labor and delivery. Then I stayed home with my babies and when they went to school I taught for 11 years. I am back in nursing now going on 2 years. Love my job. Most of it anyhow.

I noticed that about swallowing cold things too. It doesn't bother me tho, it seems kinda interesting ha. I must be weird.

Did you file for FMLA for you job? I don't know if it would help with the shift recovery, but it might be worth looking into to see if your shift is protected.... I know your job is. Sometimes things just suck huh. I think its really important to acknowledge that, grieve it when it REALLY SUCKS....so I am glad you are finding people to talk to. I have been surprised (not sure why I am surprised) at the waves of sadness that have washed over and through me during this experience. I didn't expect it exactly. I thought if I had a good attitude and kept my sense of humor that i guess it would pass by me? idk.... it didn't work out that way, but it does seem to be getting better. I hope it does for you too.

sm627 · September 2017

Hi Misbehavinggirls,

So nice to hear from you! Thank you for the people advice i will remember the whewwwwwwww, poof and looking at what wounds they have had in their life. I heard a lot of people say they would be happy to give me part of the boob and I thought it was sweet of them. Then I though well if all my friends gave me a part of their boob then I would have one multicultural breast.LOL You are right people do want to help when they feel like they can't do anything to help you they say things to make you feel better. I guess it has just taken me sometime to realize that.

On the work front I could not apply for FMLA my preschool does not have 50 employees, so I had to use sick leave which was about one weeks worth and then the rest was unpaid time. However the good news I was able to work out a different shift to work it is in the afternoon. I am not at my best in the afternoon, but I am learning to adjust to it. The children have helped me feel better when they give me hugs or just talk to me about what they are up to. My co-teachers have been very supportive and help me whenever I need it so that has be wonderful. I love most of what I do, but after this summer with BC I am thinking about doing something different that isn't working with little ones anymore. I want to help children but maybe do something with older children and focus more on art or something creative.

That is so wonderful that you are going back to school what are you getting your second degree in? I totally understand about long papers to write before my surgery I was sick for two weeks and I had several final papers to write some how I managed to get the energy to write them and get good grade on them. I hope your paper turned out well what was the topic? Are the classes you are taking interesting? I am majoring in Human Development to try and get my BA. I plan to take a year off to make sure BC does not pop back up again. I hope to finish school at some point. That is so great that you have had two different careers that you have enjoyed.

The emotions are interesting how they come and when. I find that at night I spend more time thinking about what has happened and get a little emotional. During the day it isn't to bad because I find things to keep myself busy. However when ever I get a nerve pain that is either sharp or burning I am reminded that recovery is going to take a long time both physically and emotionally. On a funny note when I was at work helping a child open his water bottle I got this shooting nerve pain and I did my best not to swear I said crap instead.

Look forward to hearing from you when you are not over loaded with homework or doing 12 hour shifts. Okay I am off to work on questions to ask my MO about Tamoxifen and then find out more about my BC family history for my genetic counselor meeting next Friday. I hope to get some sleep in between.

Hugs and wishing you a great week.

Sara

misbehavinggirls · September 2017

Sara, It might help to find a local support group. Maybe having other women with the specific purpose of hashing out the experience would help? Check with nurse coordinatior in your surgeons office or your MO office and see if they know of any? Or get involved with your local SG Komen peoples

I will put my plug in for Waldorf Education. http://berkeleyrose.org/community/waldorf-in-the-bay-area/ Their link has links for other bay around Waldorf schools. I was a Waldorf Handwork/Woodwork Teacher and ran my own department for grades 1-8. Handwork (artisan craft work) is an integral part of every Waldorf School. Knitting/Crochet/Xstitch/embroidery/handsewing/traditional bookbinding/dollmaking-pattern making/fiberwork-picking-carding-spinning-dying with natural dyes-weaving/lots of feltling throughout the grades/and in 8th grade machine sewing

There is lots more, but those are the basics. Very creative, very rewarding, Waldorf families tend to be VERY involved and supportive of school with a strong school community. I always wanted to get to waldorf handwork teacher training but didn't make it happen. I already had all the technical skills and we lived in Alaska at the time so.... oh well. I wanted to do www.sunbridge.edu

I know there are others that are closer to the west coast but that is the one I wanted.

sm627 · September 2017

Hi Misbehavinggirls,

Thank you for all of your wonderful advice both BC and career wise. I found a support group that meets twice a month at a local breast center. I went to a meeting today and meat two women who had mastectomies and other women around my age that have been through so much with chemo and rads. I learned that even though our experiences are different we all shared similar emotional and physical challenges. I enjoyed listen to every ones stories and leaning from what has worked for them in dealing with this new world we have been thrown into. I felt better after going to the support group and plan to go back again. I also talked to my PCP and she said she would refer me for some individual counseling as well.

Waldorf Education sounds amazing I looked at the school website you sent and it sound right up my alley. I will look into it and see if there are local Education schools in the Bay Area. The Waldorf school in Berkeley is not to far from where I live, so i will have to check it out in person and see what it is like.

What did you enjoy most about teaching in a Waldorf school? At some point in your life would you want to go back to school again and get your Waldorf Education degree? What made you decide to go back to nursing? What are you getting your second degree in now?

By the way how was your day? I went to PT today it was very helpful for my arm. After that I went home and finished a bird paining I was working on.

I hope you are doing well I really enjoy our conversations I learn so much from you thank you for all of your help.

Hugs,

Sara

Mastectomy at 33 need motherly advice on recovering

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