Mom newly diagnosed yesterday 29 Aug 2017

Pei128
Pei128 Member Posts: 31
edited September 2017 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

Hi everyone, I joined this forum as I wanted some support. I do feel alone in this. I'm main caregiver for my mother. My mom is 66 years old and was just diagnosed yesterday with a Stage 4 breast cancer, HER2+. It has spread to lungs and bones. I'm too scared to read the report, so I didn't get into the details. Honestly, when I hear it's Stage 4, I was scared. I'm sure anyone new to this disease will too. We will see an Oncologist on 8 Sep who will talk to her about treatment plans and options. The breast surgeon didn't recommend surgery as she think it wasn't helpful at this stage. The breast surgeon says there is a pill that treats this type of cancer. She thinks we will most likely be prescribed the pill and chemo for my mother. Yesterday was a very tough day, but we are taking a day at a time.

Any words of encouragement, support will indeed be appreciated! I enjoyed reading this forum, getting some knowledge and knowing I'm not alone.

I am also curious, as I don't seem to find many information on diet, nutrition for breast cancer patients. Can anyone let me know what food my mom should avoid, and what she should consume more?

Thanks so much!

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Comments

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited August 2017

    Pei, sorry to learn of your mom's diagnosis. Yes, I well recall how scared I was after being diagnosed stage iv. It frightened me to even click on the stage iv section of this forum! But once I did, I found support and help and insight to deal with this. So it is good you found us.

    The book AntiCancer by David Servan-Schreiber is great to get an understanding about diet. Myself, I am not too strict about it, tho increased veggies, cut out diet soda. But moderation in all things is what I believe and I will have an occasional margarita or some Samoa girl scout cookies if I want, or bbq ribs, ect.

    Another book that I love is called Radical Remission by Kelly A. Turner, MD. Fascinating insight on dealing with disease. Both books are very readable.

    The first few months were hard for me, but I developed coping mechanisms over time that help. Also, was prescribed anti anxiety meds that very much helped, too. Best wishes to your mom and you.


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  • Pei128
    Pei128 Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2017

    Hi MrsM,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I appreciate your kind words, and also the book recommendations. I'll definitely check them out. I wished Mom was more internet savvy, so she could come into this forum and see that she's not the only one who has this disease. But for now, I'm her "eyes" and tell her that she isn't alone :) It is getting better day by day, Mom accepts this and she is strong and hopeful about the treatment plan. She is motivated to live. I'll definitely update when I know her treatment plans. Thanks again!

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  • Nash623
    Nash623 Member Posts: 1
    edited August 2017

    Hi Pei128,

    I'm sorry to hear of your mom's diagnosis. My mom was also recently diagnosed with stage IV Her2+ breast cancer. It was this past May, a few days after Mother's Day. She is 70. It is in both breasts, her bones and liver. From day one her oncologist told us that this is highly treatable and she is treating it like it's a chronic condition. My mom started treatment in June and is on 6 rounds of Taxotere, Herceptin and Perjeta every three weeks and Zometa every four weeks. She is handling treatment very well with little side effects. When I heard my mom had stage IV BC it felt like my world ended. She is my best friend and the thought of her not being around to laugh with and even "fight" with anymore, was/is beyondpainful in every way. But I want you to know that it gets better. In the short couple months she has been on treatment she has regained her energy (despite fatigue being a big side effect of the treatment) and her appetite. She is almost her old self again. With every new day she and all of us around her are gaining confidence that she will be ok and around for many more years to come. Our moms are going to be ok, I believe that very much!!! I'm thinking of and sending love to you both!

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  • Pei128
    Pei128 Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2017

    Dear Nash623,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, and taking the time to reply my post! I appreciate it. It's been a couple of days since receiving this news, and I have good and bad moments. When I feel stressed, anxious, I allow myself to cry in my room. When I'm done crying, and let that stress out of my body, I feel better. As a main caregiver, I am mindful not to display negative emotions in front of mom. Everyday, I am amazed how mentally strong my mom is. She never cried. I'm sure she feels nervous and anxious from time to time, but she knows to pray and focus on her faith when she feels down.

    What worries me right now is that in my country (singapore), Herceptin is extremely expensive. That's what the doctor said. This is the new stress that's adding onto my shoulders. My mom only has basic insurance, so I do feel quite grim on this situation.

    I know it is premature to worry now about being able to afford this expensive treatment. Our first appointment with Oncologist is on 8 Sep. All I can do is to remind myself to take it one day at a time really.

    Today, my mom is just taking it easy. I encourage her to do a little more walking at home. She climbs the stairs at home to exercise, which is good. :) She got excited over the new spin mop I bought for her, and spent time assembling and testing it out. She has a good day and I'm thankful. My best friend is gifting mom a juicer, she feels touched.

    Everyday now is precious to us. Like yourself, my mom and I are very close. We are like best friends. So I totally can relate.

    I am glad to hear your mom is responding well to the treatment, and regained her energy and appetite! That's so important.

    I will share what treatment plans my mom goes for.

    If you ever want to write, you can also send me private message. Thank you so much for sharing. I am sending YOU and your MOM good thoughts and wishes!

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  • Kellygrl
    Kellygrl Member Posts: 5
    edited September 2017

    pei, sorry to hear about your mom. I to was diagnosed stage 4 her2+ in 2012 at age 34. There is great information & support on this site & information to know you are not alone. I know my first round I was told easier to avoid metal tastes through treatments using plastic utensils. Best thing I personally found first time through cancer to eat for me was baked potatoes lol. But best thing is to take 1 day at a time. Doctors & nurses can give a lot of great suggestions. Can ask to speak to a nutritionist as well if they don't already recommend one. It seems like a lot at first but thankfully new advances all the time & many things to help through. One day at a time & still try to share plenty of laughter still. I always keep a since of humor & try to laugh as much as possible through as well. Any type of to much stress on our bodies are not good for any of us. How they say attitude is everything is something I just believe in. Good support system and faith. Best wishes to you and your mother.

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  • Pei128
    Pei128 Member Posts: 31
    edited September 2017

    Hi Kellygrl,

    Thank you for your reply and sharing your story. I truly appreciate it. I love hearing how other women continue to live their day, it is an inspiration, as well as a reminder that, we all are in this together.

    My mom's been well, she doesn't have pain. She eats well, we are sticking to a mostly plant based diet, lots of vegetables! We try to incorporate different color vegetables. My mom has also started to take morning walks. 20 minutes each day for a start, hopefully to work up to 30 minutes. Believe it or not, she feels more energetic after the walk and doesn't feel so fatigue or weak. We just live each day happily, talk, chat. I hold her hand, you know, all the simple things. Today, I also made the first juice using a juicer that my best friend gifted.

    I have a question, but I might be over-analyzing it. Do oncologists typically push "severe" cases to the end of the day? Maybe they are afraid that the family can't take the news of the prognosis and would break down? But we accept whatever the doctor says, be it 3 months of whatever and take it with a pinch of salt. Mom is determined to live each day to its fullest, and if there is a treatment recommended, she will go for it.

    Would love to hear any insights, advice on this matter. Thank you!

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