I never had chemo, but I think it would involve how you physically feel.

We usually wait for 72 hours after chemo before sex. That goes back to when I was having chemo the first time 9 yrs ago, and that is what we were told then. If we wanted to do it earlier, it was suggested to double condom. The body excretes chemo for a few days and they said it might irritate his penis. Practices change, so I'm not sure if this is still suggested now.

The other thing to consider is if you are still able to get pregnant, to take extra precautions to exclude that chance.

I was told to wait 72 hours as well and if I felt up to it before then 72 hours was up to use double condoms as well. Honestly, I was not up to it at 72 hours so there was no need for double condoms.

We tried once or twice during chemo, but it was very painful. I'm now on Arimidex, and don't have much desire for sex. It's sad. I have found inserting some coconut oil routinely has helped with the dryness, but I don' t get the same urges that I used to.

Yes to sex during chemo. Be aware that with lowered immunity, urinary tract infections are a risk. Don't NOT have sex because of this, but drink lots of water to dilute/drown/flush the bacteria, and be sure to pee before and after. Move the bugs downstream.

Goliatas, I'm not following the direction of your post. Can you try to state your opinion again?

Welp, she's gone. Thanks, Freya.

shenanigans I totally get what you mean, about not being comfortable discussing how your lady parts hurt when you do things with your husband that you would not usually discuss even with your best friend. This is important stuff, and the best way to get answers is to talk to others going through it, so we have to "put it out there" even if we are a bit shy.

That's why I try to help as much as I can here, this is hard to get through without outside help!

Lube can help make you slippery, but your internal and external tissues can be more sensitive, for a lot of reasons. So even with the "slip," the back and forth motion of intercourse can hurt. If you've had your ovaries removed, or any number of things done in the course of breast cancer treatment to shut down your hormones, you will notice a change in how intercourse feels. For me, I noticed a change even in how I look "down there" -- I shrank. (!!!!!)

You can try different lubes. You can try moisturizing all the time, not just before intercourse. Key-E is a brand of coconut oil moisturizer, in a suppository form. It's not as messy as other lubes. You can use it any time. Buy it throughAmazon and Whole Foods.

Some women with vaginal atrophy (fancy word for tissue weakness) can get help by using topical estrogen. It does not appear to increase breast cancer recurrence, but for many years doctors believed it did. There are stories on this website about research that shows it is safe, so don't let your doctor tell you otherwise. I've used it, and it does increase "plumpness" of tissues.

Some women who want to be intimate with their husband substitute their mouth or hands for the vagina. It seems that some women do nothing but oral sex because penetration is painful. That doesn't mean your vagina can't be touched during intimate times but it might be that temporarily or permanently, penetration might be off limits.

I hope this helps. Sex helps us feel human and normal at a time when we don't feel either.

thank god someone asked this question lol

i was worried about this too, since chemo is so toxic im afraid to somehow harm my husband if we attempt to have sex. and also we hate condoms.

TarheelMichelle Yes, round 2 of chem went much better. Still was out of it for a few days but kept my appetite and taste buds! I really appreciate the support. There some normalcy to reading posts here.

Lots of good info here. For me, vaginal dryness was a serious problem. I ended up using Replens, which is a vaginal moisturizer (that is to say, it is meant to moisturize and soften for several days vs. lube, which just makes things slippery). It is available at Target, CVS, etc. During my AC, I used it as often as the box said was allowed (I think every 3 days?) and it really helped, since itching and dryness were a problem even independent of sex. During my Taxol, my saliva, mucus, and other moisture-generating systems seemed to come back online so I used it less frequently.

It sounds like you have the same chemo I just finished - 8 weeks of AC every other week followed by 12 weeks of taxol? I just want to say you can do it! When I started, 5 months seemed like an impossibly epic length of time, especially when the AC started to really suck around cycle 3. I know it's different for everybody, but please take heart in knowing that for me (as for many), taxol was much, much easier than the AC. Just keep moving forward, and one day you'll find yourself at the end.

Speaking as a man who was advised to use condoms during my chemo, I'd suggest that you protect your partner to avoid transference of the toxic chemical infused bodily fluids. As for infections, it is paramount that you don't get one. I made the mistake of having some dental work done between chemo two and three and got a free trip to the ER to get Iv antibiotics which fortunately had me better by the start of chemo 4.