Terrified

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Can't believe I'm here after all these years. In 2008 I had stage 3a and was treated with 6 rounds of TCH, a bilateral mx, radiation, and a year of Herceptin. At my 9 year check up Friday my BS noticed a lump and did a punch biopsy. She said if she had to list the top three possibilities she'd say breast cancer, breast cancer, breast cancer. She'll have the results Monday evening.

I'm stunned. Sick. Afraid. Living out all sorts of possibilities. I can't eat or sleep.

How am I going to deal with this? I'm only 50, have two wonderful teenagers and a fantastic husband. I can't wrap my mind around all of the possibilities.

I'm lost. Any words of wisdom?

Comments

  • Brightness456
    Brightness456 Member Posts: 340
    edited August 2017

    Ugh, I'm too new to know the right words to say, but wanted to let you know I'll be thinking of you. I can hear the fear and dread in your words. I'm so sorry this is happening. I pray your results show nothing at all.

  • letsgogolf
    letsgogolf Member Posts: 263
    edited August 2017

    I am sorry to hear this. Sounds like this may be a local recurrence which can be dealt with as before. Doesn't sound like there is any reason to believe it may have spread elsewhere. Hopefully, it will even be a lower stage this time. Pray you get better results than you are expecting.


  • Emily2008
    Emily2008 Member Posts: 605
    edited August 2017

    Oh, sister, I feel your pain. I was diagnosed with a recurrence 8.5 years after my first bc. The first time I had bilateral mastectomies (I'm BRCA 2 pos), chemo, ovaries out, and Tamoxifen for 6.5 years. I was almost at the point of having to see my onc only once a year. Then, bam! I found a lump in the cancer side, very close to the original cancer. Sure enough, it was bc again.

    It was a massive punch to the gut, and I was terrified. I had all sorts of staging tests and scans, found out my nodes were clear, had essentially a lumpectomy, then 30 rads txt. Now I'm on an AI.

    I will say that there is still a possibility that this is B9 for you. BUT, if it is cancer again, you will get through it. One step at a time, one day at a time...heck, even one hour at a time. I remember standing in my kitchen feeling like I couldn't even think or move. I literally had no idea what to do. I called a friend who told me to make myself some lunch, then clean out my closet. That's what I did, and I look at that metaphorically as well as literally.

    I will pray your results are B9. I will also pray that if they're not, you'll walk through this time with support and strength.

    Btw, I also have a husband and 3 kids: 20, 17, and 15. It's hard, but they've grown so much through this time as well.

    Big, big hugs. Please update when you know for sure.

  • Seven11
    Seven11 Member Posts: 162
    edited September 2017

    Thank you all. So much.

  • Seven11
    Seven11 Member Posts: 162
    edited August 2017

    Cancer confirmed. No word on receptor status yet and I need scans to make a plan.

  • Falconer
    Falconer Member Posts: 1,192
    edited August 2017
    PeaceCat, you are not alone.
  • carmstr835
    carmstr835 Member Posts: 388
    edited August 2017

    I am so sorry, and praying for you PeaceCat.

  • Emily2008
    Emily2008 Member Posts: 605
    edited August 2017

    Crappity, crap, crap. I'm so sorry.

    We're here for you. You remember how it was the first time...waiting for all the results/scans/tests to come back is so hard. Then you make a plan, then you walk through the plan.

    You can do this.

  • Seven11
    Seven11 Member Posts: 162
    edited September 2017

    Thank you. Got the biology back yesterday. The lab compared the slides and this looks almost exactly the same as the 2008 crap. Her2 amplified which I consider good news (all things considered). Meeting with my MO today, then getting a port placed. I assume MO will schedule scans and I'd like to move forward on kicking butt asap.


  • EastcoastTS
    EastcoastTS Member Posts: 864
    edited August 2017

    I'm so sorry. This damn disease.

    HUGS and warm thoughts to you. Of course you can do it, you've done it before with the "2008 crap"!

  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited August 2017
  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited August 2017

    I am so sorry you are dealing with this again. Hoping this is confined to the local area.

    Physically it was easier for me the second time.... mentally, it was a little tougher. One day at a time

  • Seven11
    Seven11 Member Posts: 162
    edited September 2017

    Had a complete breakdown at my oncologist's office yesterday. That was a first.

    Physical exam showed normal heart, lungs, liver, and nothing in the nodes. The PET scan and port placement are tomorrow and my first treatment is Tuesday. I'm doing Taxotere, Herceptin, and Perjeta. I have read lots of good stuff about this combo so if anyone knows anything about it, please let me know.


  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited September 2017

    PeaceCat, I'm sorry you have to endure this rodeo again! Perjeta is pretty new, and very effective. It will kick the cancer to the curb.

  • Seven11
    Seven11 Member Posts: 162
    edited September 2017

    moving over to the stage 4... Looks like bone and liver and maybe lung.

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited September 2017

    I am so sorry Peace Cat. Thinking of you

  • Emily2008
    Emily2008 Member Posts: 605
    edited September 2017

    I'm sorry...all the best as you gear up for the fight!

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