A message of appreciation-in memory of Dreamwriter

Dreamwriters_Daughter
Dreamwriters_Daughter Member Posts: 8
edited June 2018 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

Dear Members,

My mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer in 2005. She was given 9-12 months to live, however; she lived 6.5 years after her diagnosis. It was a few years into her treatments that she was told about BreastCancer.org and it made a difference in her life.

You would know her as Dreamwriter. She passed away in 2012.

She would spend hours at the computer reading about what others were going through and offered her support in any way she could. There was quite a difference in her life once she started chatting and blogging with the members of this site. A light was back in her that we hadn't seen in a very long time.

Everyone that was on this site helped her through all the ups and the downs of her journey. It really made me extremely happy that she even got to meet a large group of the members twice; once in Las Vegas and once in Miami. These two trips meant the world to her. She had always wanted to travel, and this group was able to give that gift to her. I was so happy to have seen the photos of my mother smiling a genuine smile for the first time in years. She came back with the most amazing stories of the people she got to meet in person and how they had the most interesting personalities. She felt blessed. Looking back, it didn't seem like a big deal to me, but now it seems like the world was given to her.

Everyone on this site treated my mother like their dearest friend. She really cared about each and every one of you and you deserve to know this. She would walk away from the computer with tears in her eyes every time one of her friends passed away or someone new would join the chat group, because someone else was feeling her pain and her fear.

You were her cancer family (her words). She could talk to all of you about things she couldn't talk to us about. I know it was hard for her, and I hope she understood that we would listen to anything she had to say, but we couldn't relate. We would never understand her cancer journey the way any of you could.

You gave her hope and love in a way we couldn't. It makes me feel blessed that she was able to have all of you in her life.

I appreciate all of you, and what you're going through. This may have taken 4 years too long to tell you, but the truth is, my father passed away from Stage 4 Esophagus cancer a year and a half ago.

If any of you have anything you'd like to share with me about my mother, I have joined to learn more about her and to help other family members that have had to deal with this diagnosis and help support someone going through their own journey.


Thank you all for everything you have given to my mother,

Ally

Dreamwriter's Daughter

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Comments

  • RonnieKay
    RonnieKay Member Posts: 2,067
    edited May 2016

    Oh Ally.,.thank you, thank you...you have described with such clarity, what this place means to each of us who live with this diagnosis and how deeply important our relationships are. Your dearest Mother passed the year I was diagnosed stage 4, but meeting 2 of my early stage sisters after our treatment ended gave me a depth of friendship I couldn't relate to anyone else. Your mother surely was a beautiful soul & I thank her for sharing with you what this sisterhood means. I also thank you for your amazing gift in joining us here. I'm heartbroken you've lost your dad to this rotten disease, but you've gained a family in all of us....you are loved & cherished. Bless your heart for being a faithful, loving daughter...and friend to us. I know others will chime in. Hugs.

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  • Dreamwriters_Daughter
    Dreamwriters_Daughter Member Posts: 8
    edited May 2016

    Thank you RonnieKay for your kind words. I know how my mum was and how much this group meant to her, and I just thought you all should know how much she cared about you.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited May 2016

    Ally, I called your Mom once when she got put into the hospital and it was very weird to have to call myself Barbe1958 for her to be able to know who I was. Too funny. I also communicated with her through Private Messaging here. She had something she made me but alas I was never to get it...bookmark?

    She also joined us in Niagara-on-the-Lake one year, I guess you didn't realize that. She was able to meet about a dozen members of bco.org. It's always amazing to put a person together with an avatar and posts.

    She has NOT been forgotten.

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  • steelrose
    steelrose Member Posts: 3,798
    edited May 2016

    Ally,

    Your Mom was such a strong personality here. She was one of the women I looked up to when I was newly diagnosed in 2010. Funny, honest, and very well spoken, she rolled with every punch! I was in awe of her perseverance, and very grateful for her presence here.

    I'm so sorry that you've lost your Dad to this hideous cancer too. It's so hard being without parents, I know… both of mine were gone by my early thirties. But you must gain such strength from your memories! Your Mom would certainly be proud of you, remembering us here and reaching out. You are part of us, just as all of the many family members who mourn the loss of their loved ones.

    Wishing you happiness and sending you love!

    Rose.

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  • Bestbird
    Bestbird Member Posts: 2,818
    edited May 2016

    Dear Ally, What a beautiful testament your words - and you - are to your wonderful mother. I am so glad to hear that like so many of us, she found joy and comfort on this forum. And that she conveyed these feelings to you. Thank you so much for introducing yourself, and for providing additional insights about your mother.

    In case you may not be familiar with the Search feature, you have the capability of seeing everything your mother posted. Just press the Search button and enter her screen name in the Member name field. I've taken the liberty of doing this: https://community.breastcancer.org/posts/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&search_builder%5Bkeyword%5D=&search_builder%5Bauthor%5D=Dreamwriter&search_builder%5Bsource%5D=&search_builder%5Bdate_range%5D=&commit=Search

    I am so sorry to hear that you recently lost your father, and send gentle hugs along with hope that you still have many people in your life who surround you with love.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited May 2016

    Ally-

    Words can't express how much this means to the community. We remember your mother fondly. Thank you, sincerely, for sharing with us, and for being here. We are so saddened to hear of your father's passing, and will keep you in our hearts.

    The Mods

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  • Dreamwriters_Daughter
    Dreamwriters_Daughter Member Posts: 8
    edited May 2016

    I have to say, when I posted this I was expecting some responses, but this has been an amazing experience!! Thank you all for your kind words :) They have made my day light up in ways I could not expect.

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited May 2016

    Ally, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing both your parents to cancer within just a few years must have been, and no doubt still is, very difficult for you.

    I met your mother once at one of the Toronto get-togethers. It was just a small group, only about 5 of us, and we had a great afternoon chatting. Your mother's spirit left a lasting impression on me, and just as steelrose said, I too was in awe of her perseverance. I still think of her often. You were lucky to have her, as were all of us on this board.

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  • JeninMichigan
    JeninMichigan Member Posts: 2,974
    edited May 2016

    Hi Ally

    It has been some time since hearing Dreamwriter. Gosh, I remember your mom's avatar so well but I remember her humor even in the worst part of facing this disease. Her love of cigarettes... lol. She lived a long time with this disease in spite of what it threw at her. I am sure you miss her so much as she was so full of life. She for sure made an impact on me even though I never had the pleasure of meeting her in person.

    Jen

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  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited June 2016

    I remember her very well. She was a rock on this board for me and many others.

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  • BrandonMom
    BrandonMom Member Posts: 412
    edited August 2017

    I am not sure if you are still reading these, but your Mom meant the world to me. I miss her so much! I was the one that gifted her the Red Panda. I would love to keep in touch and invite you to our BC Chatters group on Facebook. You would be most welcome! There are a couple special daughters in the group.



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  • RonnieKay
    RonnieKay Member Posts: 2,067
    edited August 2017

    I haven't been on the boards for a very long time...but I just re-read this. It popped up to the top after BrandonMom posted.

    I hope you're doing well. I'm sure not a day goes by that your heart doesn't miss your parents. My brother-in-law had his esophagus removed a few months ago. I didn't know anything about this cancer when I read about your dad...and sadly, now I know. Watching so many people I know...and love...go through cancer, in all its ugly forms, makes me even more thankful for the support I've had over these years of treatment.

    We carry on with hope. Hugs to you

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  • Dreamwriters_Daughter
    Dreamwriters_Daughter Member Posts: 8
    edited June 2018

    I love reading these!!! I dont read them often, but I do try.

    I think of you guys every day and how much you all meant to my mother. You were a bright light in her life and I hope you know that.


    Feel free to continue telling stories about her!! I'd love to hear more about her.

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