28 years old, scared and in a fog....

TurboKitten, Welcome to BCO! although I am sorry that you've had to join us. I think it is very "normal" (in this very abnormal situation) to feel so unlike yourself and perhaps, overwhelmed. There are so many women here to connect with who've experienced similar feelings. Please know that you are NOT alone!

I'll try to address your questions, but am also sure that others will come along soon to add their experience and thoughts.

"my first would be when do they put a "stage" to your bc? of course this is the first thing anyone asks me when I'm trying to explain everything. At this point no one has told me. "

after any mri/ct scans (that look for distant sites where bc may have spread) as well as the final tissue has been removed and measured, they will be able to give you your stage. That has to do with the size of breast cancer and how far it has/hasn't travelled beyond the breast (lymph nodes, other parts of the body etc) There is a link here that describes the staging process: http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/diagnosis/staging

"Is it normal to have MRI say "lymph nodes clear" but when checked during biopsy they are in fact not?"

While it is a very good sign that the mri indicates clear nodes, It is possible that cells could still be found in your lymph nodes. You should discuss the plan with your surgeon for verifying this. A sentinel node procedure marks (using radioactive dye that they inject and trace to the first node or nodes in the axillary lymph system) the sentinel nodes and then just they can be removed during surgery. They can be quickly tested during the surgery, and if all clear, the others are left in place. Here is a link describing that: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/sentinel-node-biopsy/basics/definition/PRC-20013550

"my other questions would be is it totally normal for the doc to set up to meet with the surgeon before a oncologist? "

yes. surgical referrals commonly come first. Although you should also get an appointment with a medical oncologist (MO) as soon as possible. Currently, it is very common to treat Triple Negative (TNBC) with neo-adjuvant chemo (that is chemo before surgery), so that they can see how effective the treatment is. From the research that I've done, TNBC is more common in younger women.

The MO may also refer you to a genetic counselor to discuss possible genetic testing due to your young age.

Please let us know how we can best help you and consider visiting the TNBC forum. Sending you warm thoughts and gentle ((Hugs))

You might be able to make a good guess at your stage if you know the size of your tumor. If it's small (under 2cm) and no positive lymph nodes then you're stage 1 - at least for now. That can always change after surgery. Also, did they tell you the grade - how aggressive the tumor is? That is determined from the biopsy and would be in the same report that said you were triple negative. If you're grade 1 then it's a slow growing tumor. Grade 2 is intermediate and grade 3 is aggressive. If it's grade 3 your dr's will want to do more aggressive treatments so be mentally prepared for that

I am so sorry you are going through this. My Breast Surgeon told me this was just a minor inconvience, a bump in the road. She said I would be fine. She was right. And you'll be fine too! Just get through these crazy few months.

Turbokitten,

So sorry you are here. You are young, unfortunately there are many young women diagnosed. You are not alone. It's very overwhelming and scary. I can't much better advice then everyone else has, but take each day as it comes, feel however you feel, sad, crying, ok, battle mode, whatever it is go with it.

Gather all your info as it comes in. Feel comfortable with your Dr's and what they tell you otherwise find new ones.

Hugs to you...we will be following you.

Hi Turbo Kitten. I totally know how you feel unlike yourself or as you said "alien". I have waves of emotions like that too and it's ok. You aren't alone, even though it can really feel like it at times. People try to empathize but it's really tough until you've walked in those shoes. You will be ok. My ultrasound didn't show any cancer in lymph nodes but sentinel node biopsy confirmed there were small amounts - microscopic in one and 6 mm in the other. You should feel much better when you have more information.

It breaks my heart to see women so young to be diagnosed with this. You are just a few years older than my daughter. I am so sorry this has happened to you. I totally get the abnormal, alien feeling and being so alone. It does get better once you have a plan in place and you know what's going to take place. And yes waiting stinks - it's just awful. It sounds like you most likely caught this early - good for you. I have a friend who also caught her triple negative bc early. She had surgery, four rounds of chemo and radiation. She is 10 years out. You can beat this. Hugs to you

Nancy

Hi TurboKitten,

I'm totally feeling ya! And dang, you are too young for this! I'm too young for this too (51 but think I'm still 30! ;-p)

I got my diagnosis 7/21/17 after I finally got a lump looked at and they did a biopsy - left breast & lymph node both came back positive for b.c.. I was referred to a Surgical oncologist (with excellent credentials and reputation) first - probably because the Tumor Board recommended a lumpectomy. Took awhile to get the referral, then awhile to actually see him (just last Saturday). The medical oncologist is next and I can't get in to see him until the middle of next month. I've seen so many dx and treatment dates posted on these boards that suggest a much faster turnaround time...

My SO looked at my records while he was out of the office and scheduled me ahead of time for blood work, contrasting MRI, CT scan, and a bone scan so that he had the results on Saturday. I'm so glad that our first meeting could include learning that there's no cancer spread beyond breast and lymph node(s)!! That was a huge relief!

I also learned on Saturday that the mammogram hadn't picked up the tumor, but the ultrasound did. May have something to do with having dense breasts. The MRI, however, shows it to be a 6.4 x 7.7 cm "string of pearls"! A large enough mass that means a mastectomy is in order (and I'm one of the 15% of his patients who get mastectomies, the other 85% get lumpectomies) Ugh. I'm just now coming to grips with that new reality.

That said, my SO referred to me a MO to see if I'm a candidate for treatment before surgery to reduce the size enough to warrant a lumpectomy instead. However, it's slow-growing (a good thing), so it doesn't seem likely, but he wants me to know the options. That appointment is scheduled for 9/22/17 (short on doctors for the next few weeks, then I travel for a week, hopefully they'll call me off the wait list soon).

Like you, I was expecting to find out a specific stage. He didn't mention it, so I asked. He didn't seem terribly concerned about labeling it and was non-committal with my b.c. being either a IIB or a III.

That said, I just opened my mail and got the CT scan report. I know there's a danger in reading into things and the SO already covered generalities with me, but I am a little freaked about seeing new information - "there is a left supraclavicular node... suspicious of metastatic disease." We didn't discuss this and it falls outside of the range of nodes (axillary) he was telling me would get removed. I'm a little puzzled, so I guess I know at least one more question I'll have for him when I get back in his office!

Anyway, I know you got several excellent responses to your post. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in the newness to this journey. I understand the "scared and in a fog feelings!" I feel I'm just coming out of the first fog now that I have those other test results. I feel a new fog facing the reality that I'm going to have my whole left breast taken off rather than a lumpectomy. OMG!

I wanted to be commiserating here and it seems I did an "all about me" share. This sucks. Thank you for being there - I'm grateful I'm not alone in this newness. We'll hang in there together!

I'm sorry about your dx, this is my first post here. It's been a month for me and it still feels like I am in a bad dream.

I totally get the weird/abnormal/alien feeling, since I'm there too. You are definitely not alone!