Grade 3 and scared

Sorry you find yourself here Kimhf. I ran into a doctor like that also. She did my node biopsy and the way she told me made me think I should get my affairs in order too. It took me a while to get the terms right. They are confusing. Glad you don't have to be in this forum, but I don't think there is any rule that says you can't stop in and ask questions if you have them. Best Wishes!

If it will help, kimhf, I am an 'almost twenty year stage three survivor!' I was diagnosed in October of '97 and had a left mastectomy a month later; beginning chemo on Dec. 9 of that year and last radiation on Nov. 12 of '98. Not certain how to set up these facts on this site so will do later but.......had 12 rounds of chemo (5FU, cytoxan and adriamycin) and 35 radiation treatments. I had 22 lymph nodes removed and four were involved so I, and WE, understand your fear. I have found that as time goes by, the fear subsides some, not completely at all but it does get a bit better. I was on tamoxifen for three years and then arimidex for almost seven years. My oncologist 'let me go' even after I begged him to 'keep me!' In '08, I was told I had the BRCA 2 gene so a month later, the right breast and ovaries were removed. I had a friend take me to the hospital and help me as I am single and never married. Reconstruction involved a tram and then an expander on the right side.

This is my first post and you can tell I'm new at this.

I've had such a hard time dealing with fatigue. Family and certain friends have backed away. Weight is a huge issue in my family so a horrible, no other word seems appropriate, time with them concerning the fifty pounds I put on that year. We've even had screaming fights about it. But..........another topic.

Prayers to each of you and look forward to hearing from you.

hi Carol sorry that you have joined the club no one wants to be in. This is the hardest time, I think when you are just starting down this road. It's scarey as this is unchartered territory and you don't know what to expect. Also, things move quickly and that adds to the anxiety. Once you start treatment however, it does actually help as you will feel more in control.

There are a few things to keep in mind. Stage III is simply to category to determine treatment. You will get aggressive treatment, which I think can be a good thing mtoknock out the baddies.

For me, I was where you are over 12 years ago, staged at IIIC and scared sick. I found these boards, informative and very comforting. Came here often for reassurance.

There are many many of us stage IIIers out there living life way beyond this blip on the radar. You'll get through it too.

I wish you a very gentle ride through this time.

The first thing my surgeon said to me when I was dwelling on the stage is that stage is not really that important in terms of treatment. It is how I respond to treatment that counts. That really did made me feel better.

Do NOT, at any point, be afraid to advocate for your care! Whenever I had discomfort with a provider throughout my treatment - general surgeon - plastic surgeon, oncologist and radiation oncologist - I made other providers aware of it. My care is fractured between 2 cities, so either be honest with your surgeon and tell him/her how they made you feel, or get a referral to another one. Once a doctor told me I could have a blood clot in my leg, and he was sort of rude and I said, "You know you are terrifying me, right? ' to let him know his bedside manner sucked! We have to live with the providers for a long time - Be comfortable.

Shellsatthebeach - Me, too! That's what my oncologist told me before I even had treatment and shortly after my mammo! Funny on how just a few words can make ALL of the difference in your total outlook. Sometimes that's a bad thing for me because I take EVERY word to heart - I don't call myself WorryWartSuzie for no reason!

Carol246 - The best sleep I ever got after my diagnosis was during my surgery. Once "it" is out, you will feel better and then can deal with each step as it comes. It is SO worth all of this. You will be a different person in a short time. I can't believe how relieved I was once it was out - I had bilateral mastectomies and so worth it! Best wishes and it will not always feel this way, I promise.

Wonderwoman- Pre-surgery it's a best guess on details. The imagings gone can miss some of it or all of it esp if you have dense breasts. I was a II pre-surgery with a 4 cm mass but then after sx an additional 3 cm was found that biopsy, u/s and MRI missed. So I'm stage IIIa. I think the only ones that may go that fast are triple negative people, but even that seems too fast so I'm guessing it wasn't seen. Nothing is concrete until you have surgery and your path is sent out. Great question to ask your surgeon though.

It would help if you fill out your profile and then go to settings to make it all public so we can see your profile and answer your questions better.

Just wanted to stop in and let you all know that I'm doing much better on round 12 of 16 chemo now that we got the meds adjusted properly.

I had visible confirmation from all treating me that my condition was in weekly decline despite clearing 3 chest X-rays for treatments and basically told to suck it up it wasn't that bad!

I decided to give them all a dose of their own medicine on patient pain shaming from the proper perspective!

If me asking to be relieved of the pain the treatments have clearly placed me in makes me a drug seeking junkie then what do you call the people you pay to treat you that caused the pain then refuse to part with the medication that treats it properly? Disgraceful!

My entire team now is keenly aware that I don't take to character assasination lightly and have as much fight as nessicary to employ their same tactics with much worse implications on their character than mine on the issue!

I have an addiction specialist on my therapy team that finds this all hilarious! The fact that I did not leave a trail of bodies behind that day is true testimony to his level of professional skill!

I got to be the karmic kick in the pants that keeps the illusion of superiority in check for everyone working FOR me to cure my cancer. I don't care what you think of me personally as long as you do your job properly, I'm not here to be judged by anyone aside from the Lord that made me!

Stay strong and rock on

Hi, everyone. My first post. I'm 42. About 2 months ago, life was peachy. Since then, I was diagnosed, had a bilateral and decided to stay flat, stage 3a, grade 2, 4 positive nodes. Lost my hair from chemo and shaved my head yesterday which was tough, 2nd round is next week. No hair and no breasts has been a huge change from life just 2 months ago. Dunno yet about radiation and of course the hormone therapy is coming. Anywho, this website and the threads have been SO helpful to me - my thanks to all of you for sharing your experiences and opinions. My question to you stage 3 warriors... Is radiation a decision based on stage, and since I have no breasts now, any chance I might squeak out of radiation, or does the stage check that box automatically? I worry about damage to my heart and lungs since I don't have breast tissue. Thanks again, all.

Hi Gloria

I too had radiation because my Onc was concerned about local recurrence and radiation provides clear assistance in preventing it. Mine was on my left, post mastectomy. The equipment used involved breathing in and holding my breath which puts greater distance between the radiation beams and the heart. I too was concerned about the potential damage to my heart, however I decided that the advantages outweighed the negative possibilities. Hope that helps. Xxx

Gloria,

I had the bilateral bleeping crap beg of this year. Had no choice about all three treatments. DMX w no recon, 8 Dose Dense chemos and 30 rads. Yes My crap was majority grade 2 w grade 3 mixed in.

I was 47 and average health. Was concerned about SE re rads. I passed stress and ECG in flying colors. I walked consistently throughout the yr long treatments. The other day I walked 9 plus miles one day without any issue. I honestly say I threw the entire kitchen sink at the crap.